I am losing it! no seriously I am! What on earth has possessed me to do what I have just done,I have just invited,yes really 'invited 'the cessation of peace and quiet that I have been dreaming of for months!!
Let me explain!
My son ( whom I love dearly but wish would find his own place) has lived with me here in this apartment for the past three years,when he met his current girlfriend and I could see how serious it was getting I thought 'Yes' he will move out,finally I will have that peace and quiet that I need and value!
Well for the past six months he has spent his time between her house and mine,ah those heavenly days when I came home from work to an empty place! And those not so heavenly ones when I have come home to find my house looking like a tip because they and her child have spent all day here!
Over the past weeks they have been here more than there and since getting engaged at the beginning of last week have been here constantly!
Now I like the girl,dont get me wrong,she is a lovely girl!
But,apparently she doen`t know how to clean,and coming home from work twelve hours after leaving for work,to be faced with cleaning other peoples mess is not something I enjoy!
Add to that the fact that I cannot sit and study in a messy room,or a noisy one,and you will see why I was so looking forward to them getting a place together!
So why oh why,have I just invited her to move in?
What demon possessed me in those fatal few minutes?
Who actually spoke the words that issued from my mouth?
Was it the sight of that little two year olds face lighting up when he sees me?of him coming and asking me for the things that he wants? The fact that he cried when he had to leave me to go to the babysitters?
Oh Lord what a sucker I am!!
Now they will never get thier own place!
What have I done?
I need a drink! ( sorry it is only coffee,far too early for anything else)

Friday,and the end of my week off. I will have to win the lottery I could get used to this lady of leisure stuff!
And so my preparation work has arrived for my next round of studies and back to sixteen and seventeen hour days,think of the rewards I tell myself.Just think how the studying for god knows how many hours after working god knows how many hours,is eventually going to bring you what you seek!
And what is it that you seek?
The ability to do what you already do but will then have a certificate to say you can do it?!
I should have been a Patriarch,at the head of an enormous family who all would come and seek me out,lol,yeah right!
See this is what we should never lose,no matter what,the ability to laugh at oneself as well as at life! Because lets face it life is a joke!And Death is the punchline!
Ouch that is morbid,right lets brighten it up!
So tonight! well it is the big 'date' tonight,except of course it isn`t a date as such,we have been friends for months,debated and set the world to rights and now tonight there will be just him and I! Third time lucky they say,well this is the third time we have arranged this and it hasn`t happened the twice before! First time I backed out,second time his car 'broke down',lol,wonder what will happen today to prevent it?
So what is it that we are scared of? We are friends,we are at ease with each other in a way that we aren`t with others,are we afraid of losing that? We don`t have to take that step,neither of us,we can keep it as it is,just friends nothing more.
Anyway I shall not dwell on it,for it will probably not happen,again!
so what shall I do with today?
Methinks I shall just kick back and relax after all it is back to the grindstone monday,the laugh of it is I have to go in tomorrow because noone else can do the wages!Ah the joys of management!,lol.