Just Me!! The Butterfly effect

Hectic,part of it anyway,but full anyways.First carrying on from last night/this morning.I decided to go for a walk in the woods.Not having seen the other side of my eyelids yet again,I gave up hoping for sleep sometime around five and got myself ready for my walk.The best time to see the deer is very early morning just as it is coming light.with it being Feb thats about 6-45 am. The woods are about five to ten minutes walking time from me,depending on how fast you walk. So I set off and was walking up the Sandy path to the woods around about twenty to six ( there are two paths that go up into the woods one we call the sandy path and the other the cobbled path) at one stage there are trees and bushes between the two paths and I was just passing underneath these when I heard the sound of rustling up ahead so I stopped,sure enough there they were,as I watched they crossed from the bushes across the cobbled path and off into the other side of the woods where it is quite overgrown.Just a few does though no stag,I followed for a little while but then they spooked and were gone. They must have caught my scent though I tried to stay downwind.So that was that I didn`t get to see the mighty stag,but decided since I was there to have a wander. I couldn`t find any trace of the Foxes den,so I dont know where they are if they are there at all. I wandered off into the 'little valley' what a beautiful sight! the sun is up by this time and the whole of the floor is carpeted in Snowdrops,with Heather on the sides of the hills (hardly big enough to call hills but)though a lot of the Heather isn`t very colourfull yet the whole effect was quite stunning.A bit more wandering and home for coffee.
Then I decide to go to the supermarket,feeling full of energy for the first time in a week and very brave.Followers of my blog ( yes all erm six of them ) know that I suffer from something called Oclophobia,which is a fear of crowds,but hey it is Sunday,it is earlyish and most folks will be in bed right? Wrong,ok what happened to doing your weekly shop on a saturday/friday?,what happened to staying in bed on a sunday? How come the world and his wife decided to shop in my supermarket at the very same time that I did,but waited till I was in there and then all turn up together? Stood in the middle of the aisle berating myself because I just yet again for the third day running invited my family for tea,and it was like someone just told them all there were free fivers on that very aisle. I could feel the colour drain and the panic rising,no matter where I looked there were people,thousands of them ( honestly thats what it feels like) I knew I had to focus on something to enable me to get down the aisle and to the checkouts,it is very hard to focus on anything when a panic attack threatens,deep breathing doesn`t work and just becomes panicky breathing.And then I thought about blogging,and all the blogs I had read of all the people that are fighting things much worse than a crowd phobia,and I thought about some of the blogs I read the funny ones,and I started to calm down a little,enough to see a way through ( round actually) the crowd and to the checkout.Next thing I know I am outside and breathing again.
Accosted by two young men on the way back through the market carpark who wished to know where a certain pub was,as if I a lady would know that Anyway I directed them to said pub and by then was almost back to normal ( lol,well as normal as I usually am which isn`t if you know what I mean).
This afternoon My daughter-in-law-to-be arrives,and decides she wants to practice her photographic skills and asks would I model for her.OK a word of advice to the ladies,do not agree to be a model for an aspiring photographer when you are suffering from the flu and had no sleep for a few days.Saying that it was a lot of fun,one of the pics is on my profile( but not for long) we had a lot of laughs and with her being a model herself she knew the best ways for someone to pose,well she said she did anyway.
After the 'session' my son landed and I made a lovely meal of bacon and mushroom Tagliatelle served with a green salad. They left me the washing up though,again!!

Thats me,I think, anyway yes it means I am going to babble and waffle,and just write whatever comes into my head.Whats that saying? 'I think therefore I am',well not very coherently at the moment,it is one fifteen in the morning and I am no nearer sleep now than I have been for oh two or three days,I dont know why,but sleep doesn`t want to embrace me in its soft arms and let me dream sweet dreams,ah well.
My son asked me today what I wanted for my birthday which is fast approaching,I had to think long and hard,I would say surprise me but normally when I say that they all go "oh mam we dont know what you want"well kids if you dont know me by now.Anyway I thought about it and then I said " do you know son,I have never seen my team play on home turf,I have supported them since I was ten and have never been to thier home ground" So he is apparently buying me a ticket to St James Park to watch my team play at home,so yeah thats nice,but,I have to now find out how to get there,trains etc,and I am going on my own so that will be fun,but hey I am all for new adventuresWhats your betting he doesn`t buy it,it will be like the birthday before last when he bought me my driving licence( provisional) not,or last year.Well never mind the thoughts there and you never know he may just surprise me.
And so I went for a walk out today thinking it may just blow the cobwebs away and enable me to sleep (now theres a laugh) It was damn cold but it didn`t stop the cuckoo from singing and it shouldn`t have been,not yet but there it was sat in the trees in the middle of a car park singing its little heart out.And the buds are out on the trees too,despite the cold,spring is just round the corner I guess.So I might take a little trp-a-dee up to the woods tomorrow,whoops,today and see how things are going up there in the run up to springtime. I am hoping to be able to spot the deer if I am quiet enough,which I usually am.They have been coming back slowly since many were slaughtered in the last foot and mouth scare.And they tell me the foxes are back too so I shall have a meander down there to see.