The Destructor!
I have mentioned him in several posts and have said that I would explain about him or rather tell about him.
Where do I start? I met the Destructor,formerly known as Kian last year when the relationship between my son and Kians mother started to become a little more serious. Our first few meetings were a little tense,he was always accompanied by his mother and spoilt wasn`t in it.At least thats what I believed at the time. This child would not ask for what he wanted he demanded,he could hardly talk in anything but an unintelligable series of noises,and he cried and screamed constantly if not given what he wanted.
Now I am not one of those people that think children should be seen and not heard,I love nothing more than hearing little ones laughing and playing.However the constant crying and tantrumming was beginning to get to me. At this point my son was spending only short bursts of time at his girlfriends,then he started staying there most of the time,slowly there was a difference in Kian,when they brought him down if he wanted something and his mother said no he threw a tantrum,if however Mike said no he went away and watched TV! Then came the inevitable first time of being asked to watch him for them,it was an afternoon and they needed to go shopping,the weather was lousy and I said yes. It was time for me to get to know him properly,after all it was no secret how my son felt about his mother and that meant this was a long term thing.
As with all children my first time alone with him was spent letting him know that I couldn`t be pushed like his mam,we had tantrums,I sat and let him carry on,he kept lifting his head and looking to see if I was going to give in. Eventually he stopped,and gave me that cheeky smile,I then gave him a biscuit not the cake he had been asking for ( It was nearly teatime) and he sat and watched Bagpuss and giggled away,at some point coming and sitting with me on the sofa. When they came back from shopping he was fast asleep cuddled up to me on the sofa.
I babysat a few more times just a couple of hours each time,and Kian slowly got to know that while he couldn`t get his own way he did get to have a lot of fun,and he was learning slowly to talk,I had him repeating things after me,he would point and I would say the name and he would repeat it.
He was shipped off every weekend to his babysitter,Both my son and Caz worked in a sports bar/nightclub and weekends were the late shifts for both of them. He always came back moody and once again demanding.
They had both started stopping at mine when Kian was away and gradually even when he came back,one friday I had said to them why dont you leave Kian with me instead of trying to find a sitter ( I know I am a glutton for punishment) their normal babysitter had gone away for the weekend. Kaz just sort of stood and looked at me,Mike said he hadn`t wanted to put on me,yeah right it had never bothered him before when I had Lucas ( mikes son). So our first proper time together, now I had no problems at all getting him ready for bed,or getting him to go. I couldn`t understand what all the fuss about this child was. Hahaha I was about to learn.
From that day Caz and Kian became a permanent fixture and thats when the fun began!
At first I didn`t know what he got up to because I was away to work at seven in the morning while all were still abed,by the time I got home at nearly seven at night all was normalish,sometrimes he was there sometimes he was at the babysitters. Then he started going to the babysitters less and it became more mam will you watch him,I didn`t have any problems with him and while they asked it was fine. Then I started noticing things. One night I came home and there were stickers all over my computer desk,Kian had done it,I was not amused. That was my space at that time the only space I had that was mine.A day off and I had given Kian his breakfast and then gone out,informing them that I was doing so. I got back and noticed the milk and breakfast cereal on the table. I asked Caz if she had given Kian more breakfast,no she knew he had already had some. It transpired that Kian had pulled a chair from the table to the unit,climbed on that and then the unit and helped himself,not spilling a drop of cereal or milk he had got himself some more breakfast! I had never met a child like this,in the weeks that followed I was to find out the full extent of how this child could work out in minutes the solution to getting mostly anything he wanted.The problem,he destroyed things. He would take things he didn`t really like or want but he would take them. A full carton of yoghurts one morning,he had opened every single one and taken a spoonful from each,though he didn`t even like them.A full cake from the cupboard of which he had taken bits from all of it then broke it up all over the floor. He would go through my bag and just take whatever he wanted. I ended up having to take it with me or put it where he couldn`t get it,and believe me there were few places he couldn`t get to!We gated the bedroom to prevent him from being able to get out and create havoc,this was after he had decided he wanted to play on the computer and I had caught him,he had turned it on,including monitor,and was stood merrily tapping on the keys. It took him five minutes to work out how to open the gate!
I had worked out from talking to Caz that when she had been with her previous boyfriend and she was working and he was minding Kian that the child had been left to his own devices for the greater part of the time.
He was a nightmare to take into town,constantly touching,refusing to hold hands,running off.So reigns were purchased and for a while it kept him under control,untill of course he worked out how to take them off! We reverted to a wrist strap,that works up to a point.
After christmas Caz and Mike moved into hers,and believe me they are having fun.Kian can move as quiet as a mouse,he has even done it with me and I am the lightest sleeper there is. In the past weeks he has trashed the living room three times,he has poured milk all over the kitchen floor. He decided last week to make a coffee,there was coffee milk sugar and tea! all over the kitchen,living room and bedroom ( he had taken Mike a cup of his concoction) as it happened Mike unplugged the kettle every night and thank goodness he does.
Mike was devastated,he had gone to great lengths to make sure that Kian could not open the gate to the bedroom,and he hadn`t. Not being able to find a way to open the gate he had dragged his bed to the gate,and then climbed over it!
They are now trying something new,we sat and discussed it,they have purchased hooks for all the doors,now he cant enter any room but his bedroom,the bathroom and their bedroom. They have bought him an immense amount of educational toys meant for children at least three years older,to amuse him. So far apart from a talcum powder incident the other day it is working. He has a very low attention span unfortunately so teaching him is often very hard.Yesterday we sat with an ABC book,and he is learning quite fast really,till he gets bored,so we can only do it short bursts.
Kian is three,he was three in january. We have managed to get him into school in september and I for one am looking forward to it. Though I feel sorry for the teachers!!
This is Kian.Lynda`s pics 105