Just Me!! The Butterfly effect

Originally written and attempted to post at 7-05am ( Grrrrrrr Blog.co)

I have been awake for hours,Though I did get a few hours sleep,well two. Still restless but I have somewhere to go today and then I will start to settle down again.
I was singing away this morning while working and suddenly realised I was singing a song that I haven`t heard in years. Of course then I had to find and download the song. Which led to me thinking of other songs from that time. The original song,the one that I was singing was No Matter What by BadFinger,this was the song that the Irish twins and Smiler and Stuart used to sing to me all stood with their air guitars trying to outdo each other. The Irish twins I haven` thought about them in a long time either,Michael and Mark,one so outgoing and full of himself the other shy and quiet except when he played air guitar and sang,being with all of us brought him out of himself a bit,and of course he was protected by the others because he wasn`t a fighter and if others picked on him the other guys would be right there at his side. There was the Twins,Michael and Mark,Smiler ( real name Pete) Stuart who was an ex-Hells Angel,I once beat Stuart at badminton which was a big thing as he was the regional champion,well actually it was twice because the first time he was drunk and he demanded a rematch as he said I cheated,so we had a rematch and I beat him again,he told me I should play proffesionaly but there was no way the Male parent would have gone for that so I told him I preffered to play for fun,he was cool with it,he saw a lot more than he let on did Stuart.Lyndon whose dad was the head of the local mafia, Kev who was another biker and thought he was really hard and had to be continually rescued by Stuart. Angie the loudmouth,Katie the Beauty of the group,Stella who thought she was and had a mad crush on Stuart and of course there was me.I was the female version of Mark the quiet shy one. The little sister of the group though I was the second oldest girl. The favourite song when we were all together and the one that the DJ always had to play was Joy To the World by Three dog night. Drink wasn`t allowed in the disco but there are ways of getting around that little rule One of the reasons I never punished mine when I found them drunk after experimenting with their friends was that I did it myself,not got drunk ( I wouldn`t have dared) but drank under age,I simply sat them down when they were sober and explained to them how I didn`t like it and how it was possible to do things when you were drunk that you would later regret and that I would prefer they wait till they were older and it was legal. I was lucky with my children I guess they had seen what it did to their Father ( who they no longer had contact with,their choice) and they knew I didn`t drink very often and I never got drunk. Once they had done the experimenting with their teenage friends they never got drunk again,of course that doesn`t mean they didn`t do it,just that they were sensible about it. I hoped they didn`t do it of course.
Anyway back to the original subject erm if I can remember what that was,ah yes music I love music I cant remember a time when I didn`t have music in my life in one way or another. It is the stuff that feeds the soul like nothing else can from the Awesome sounds of Vivaldi through the spectrum of rock,pop,dance and soul to the soft mellow tones of Kenny G and the haunting notes of Jazz and blues.
Right now though I am listening to Badfinger,Chicory Tip,The Sweet,1910 Fruit Gum Company and Three dog Night.
It is strange the things that you think of at four in the morning!!!

I am still bored,actually I am taking a break from studying

1) Desktop PC or Laptop?....Desktop both at home and at work.

2)If you had to name one charity that would get £1 mill who would it be?.....NSPCC

3)If you won £1 mill would you still work or laze?..... I would work but for myself more than likely with Downs syndrome children.

4)Like any TV program enough to own all the boxsets?....OOooohhhh yes,just one or two

5)Whats the biggest age gap you`ve dated?......24 years (younger than me)

6)If you were a Greek or Roman God what would you like to be the God of?........Fun

7)On a scale of 1 ( low) to 10 ( high) how would you rate your boredom threshold?.....About an eight,but of course it depends who I am with

8)Is there anyone on blog you`d date?.....That would be telling

9)Do you prefer a holiday at a specific place or do you like to travel around?......Both?

10)Which job would you choose,high pay with low recognition or low pay with high recognition?.....It would depend on what the recognition is for,but I would like my work to be recognised so I guess the second.

List compiled by Juzzzy,nicked by me (and about a thousand others)

1) Close your eyes and instantly tell me what you see? Place,or person? Where or who?.......The Woods

2)You suddenly have a £1000 to spend but only five seconds to decide what on.Whats your choice?......My Kids

3)Ultimate dinner party with you and any three guests?.......John F. Kennedy. Martin Luther King and Karl Marx

4)You MUST be stung by a wasp or a bee which?...Bee ( It only stings once)

5)First name of the person who first broke your heart?......Duncan ( The first and the last)

6)Biggest regret so far?......Leaving school at fifteen.

7)Favourite cocktail?.....Hehehehe Bombshell,dont ask!!

8)Reccomend a book I probably haven`t read and tell me why I will like it?...... The Talisman..Stephen King. My all time favourite book why would you like it,because it is funny,sad,heroic and moving.

9)A film you have always meant to see and deep down know you probably never will do?......Cant think of one.

10)You`re on death row. Its your final meal. What do you ask for?.....Consumme and then Lamb with all the works and apple pie with cream to follow.I am a slow eater it would take me a week to get through it

I go off on Tangents and today is going to be one of them I think.
Firstly Blog.co,what is the point in paying for a pro account enabling one to have extra blogs for other things if you cant access them? And what is the point in being a member of a blog site that keeps going down?more frustrating when you have just written a particurlarly flowing post and then it is gone into cyberspace,it really makes you feel as though you dont want to bother.

My town is still suffering from shock at the Murder at the beginning of the week of Taxi Driver and family man Mahmood Ahmed. I haven`t mentioned it before as I was hoping to write it and say that they had caught the killer/s. Alas that is not so,Mr Ahmed was murdered on monday night and his killer/s are still at large with no clues to who they are five days later. I knew Mr Ahmed,he often took me home in his taxi and was,in my eyes anyway,a true gentleman. One of the few taxi drivers who would take your shopping to the doorstep for you and even inside if you were struggling. Rarely refused a fare even though there have been incidents of taxis being called out purely to be bricked in certain places. He has a baby that is only a few weeks old,as well as older children. I am hoping the fact that Mr Ahmed is asian is not the reason his killer/s have not yet been apprehended.
It is a beautiful day today,the sun is shining,the sky is blue and I soooo want to go wandering,I cant take the destructor though as it is too far for him.Of course this annoys me,not that it is his fault,but that my children at his age walked for miles with me. Every sunday we would set off and just walk,sometimes to the next village sometimes to a park that they loved which is over two miles away from where we lived. We would be out most of the day and when we got back I would make the dinner while they played in the garden on nice days or read indoors on not so nice days. This was family day,weekdays they were in school and I worked.Saturdays was shopping and cleaning day. Sundays was the day when we did things as a family,walked,played games read books. As the children got older we started having video nights. We would choose films to watch,buy in goodies and spend the whole night watching films and laughing and generally being nuts. Every so often we do that even now they are grown. They all tell me how they miss those things.
April is a pretty bad time for me,the last week especially. But having a new job and having so much to learn this week has helped,the job has also helped in another way as it has served to remind me that no matter how bad you think life is treating you,it is treating somone else worse.

Friday morning already,where has the week gone. Though it has been an interesting week,I have spent it learning all about different types of financial dealings.And I have to admit yesterday was my most illuminating.I spent the entire morning with a woman who is not only an ex bailiff/debt collector but is also a magistrate!! I learnt things I didn`t know and things that I think most people are unaware of when it comes to things like debt and the people trying to collect that debt. What has been an eye opener to me is how people that are bringing in jointly over three thousand pounds a month cannot manage to live without running up debts of hundreds of thousands of pounds!!!! People are amazing. And what is even more amazing is that credit companies do not check the ages of their customers they only check to see if they are under eighteen. We have a gentleman of 74 who has only been in debt for the last five years because crredit companies targeted him because of his clean credit score. When they were contacted by our company and asked how come they gave credit to a 70 year old who has little or no chance of paying it off in his lifetime they admitted they dont check ages. As it happens our MD got most of his debt wiped because A few of the credit companies admitted they were at fault and cleaned it off.
And on to my mundane life. I finally completed and sent off my assignment. Seven pages of stats and a 1000 word essay,fingers crossed that it was good enough.
Last night my son rang as I left work and invited me for tea,he only lives round the corner from work and it meant he would give me a lift home. We had pork casserole with creamed potatoes and carrots and it was quite tasty. Nicer because I didn`t have to make it. I went for a little walk when I got home,not too far,just went up into the fields by the woods and sat at the top of the fields,where I used to sit when I was needing to clear my head when I was young,the times when I could escape from the others and just be on my own. The lady I was with today has a phobia about being alone,in a room or in the house. The total opposite of my phobia,I think when you have been raised in a housefull of people ( there were ten in the house if we were all at home) then alone time becomes a precious thing,something you cherish. Being alone has never bothered me,in fact I welcome the peace and the space.When I was married it was no different,I have always had an open house anyone and everyone would pop in for coffee and a chat,anytime night or day. Usually when they had something they needed to talk about,concerns they were having be it about husbands/wifes children whatever,they would come and sit and have coffee and talk.And even if I said nothing they always said they felt better when they left. I sat for a little while just letting the sun warm me and not purposely thinking,of course that is when you do think,all sorts of things because your mind goes off and does its own thing. Hehehehe my mind does that anyway,my ramblings are proof of that!!
Well time to get ready for the daily wage earning a whole weekend off this week,well off work anyway.I expect the family will be down and of course I have the destructor. Now where did I put those leg irons and that cage?

I cant believe it is wednesday already!! I went for a bit of a wander after work,just to see a new nest that has been built up by my sons,looks like a pair of magpies are nesting,I couldn`t see how many eggs there were but Magpies rarely have more than two.I shall be keeping an eye on it to see how they fare,I say its a new nest I think it is this pairs first nest as it looks fairly new,dont know exactly how long they have been on the eggs but my son is going to lwt mw know if they hatch before I get the chance to get back up there.
I was quite bemused today,I have been doing welcoming calls,you know the kind welcome to the company if you have any queries or concerns we are here to help you. Well we ( That is the person I am training with and I ) rang this number and we got an answering machine,not unusual we have quite a few of those today,the message on the machine went like this " Hello we are at home,but we are cleaning our weapons ( sound of gun safety being taken off) please leave your name ( sound of gunfire) and number ( sound of more gunfire) and your address ( chuckle and sound of gunfire) and we will get back to you when the voices tell us to "! Now when I first heard it I just sat there,it is faintly amusing the bit about the voices anyway. But in this day and age you would think that people would think twice before leaving a message like that on their machine. Someone may ring that decides this person must be a terrorist or some such thing and call the police etc.
Some of the messages people leave on their machines are quite amusing though " If we dont answer the phone we are out??"
Anyway,on to better things.I decided when I got home to take a walk down by the river,just for osme fresh air after being cooped up indoors all day ( apart from lunch time of course) it is starting to look really spring/summery down there,a lot of the buds have opened and the trees are starting to get a fresh new cloak of leaves,I love that bright green colour of leaves when they have first opened,and the lovely smell of new growth,I didn`t stay too long the workers from the factory were starting to come through on their way home,most of them dont bother me ( they all think I am nuts anyway) it was when the local drug users decided to start walking down there that I decided it was time to come home.I really hope that they are not going to start using that for their hangout,they usually stay upriver by the factories. I shall just have to go to the other side if they do,where the ducks were the other week.
Last year there were days when I couldn`t walk the woods because of the drunks and the druggies,I am not scared of them but crazy I may be,stupid I am not!
Time for tea I think before finishing the essay that needs finishing,never mind only four hundred words to go

I spent all morning in a lecture,and then all afternoon learning about the different stages that clients go through before their debts start getting paid off. Now I made the mistake of calling the firm I work for a debt consolidation business apparently thats not so,they are called financial protection,which is apparently different. Did you know that these firms that offer this kind of financial help/advise are not regulated? Unlike banks,loan companies etc. But believe me after reading the histories of some of these clients and seeing the amount of debt they are in I no longer feel so bad about my little bit.
I think the nicest thing though is the walk to work and back. I am really enjoying it,of course it helps that the weather has faired up,though it was raining this morning it was only that very fine stuff and this afternoon it was beautiful and sunny as I walked home. One added advantage is the fact that my son lives round the corner from work and I have an hours lunch,so guess where I am going tomorrow for my lunch

Before I set off once again into the land of the employed. My head is full of figures,statistics and variables and Quasi-experiments and descriptive statistic outputs.That was what I was doing when I should have been sleeping. And now I shall get ready and go do SAO`s and check standing order placements. Apparently we have a dress code,which means a business suit or at least something close.This is because we have visitors the like of Investors,Insurance directors,bankers,potential clients and existing clients.So we have to produce an air of business like efficency,good job I have one!!
The sun is struggling to peep through the rain clouds and hopefully will manage it at some point today before lunch so I can sit outside,with a bit of luck.
Have a good day whatever you are doing

And it was good,not half as bad as I thought it would be,in fact nowhere near what I thought it would be. I really enjoyed it,getting paid to sit in front of a computer and answer the telephone all day. Of course there is a lot more to it than that. It is a debt consolidation firm and I take calls from existing clents and answer their queries and any problems they may be having from creditors,if they need creditors dealing with i.e telling to lay off politely,then I log the creditors name and number on a call back sheet and pass it on. And believe me not all the callers are nice either,but the majority just need reassurance that things are being done.Of course today I just listened in and got a general idea of the callers and the computer system set up ( no Internet I`m afraid,which is probably a good thing ) So I am looking forward to tomorrow a with a lot less trepadition than I did today. And they supply all the coffee,and they have sky in the dining room andd benches outside for to catch the sun.
Now I need a coffee and some food and then I have an essay to write!

PS My mouse has got a squeak!!

At work. Had a bit of a rough night,I was hoping to get a good six hours at least but I guess I am out of the habit of sleeping for more than two at a time. I was good and went earlyish,well for me anyway.Took a book of methods and statistics with me,that should have been guarenteed to send me off,but I managed to read a whole chapter before my eyes began to close.Ah well,better to be up early than late.I cant believe how nervous I am,first days are always the worse though,or first weeks,because you are the newby but by the end of the week it should be ok,I hope.

Many of you will know of my fascination for wildlife,and my passion for Birds of Prey so you can imagine my delight when a friend sent me a link to a live cam feed attatched to the nest of a pair of Bald Eagles. There are eggs in the nest it is about three days to the hatching,the birds take it in turn to sit on the nest.
Here is the feed if anyone is interested in having a look http://www.infotecbusinesssystems.com/wildlife/
Please be patient when first going on sometimes it takes a few seconds,other times a couple of minutes,all you may see to begin with is a black screen but it will open up.
A few facts for you about Bald Eagles.
Male and Female birds have identical plumage,the female is actually larger than the male,one of the few species of birds of prey where this is the case.All eagles have four toes,three facing forward and one backwards,females tend to have longer rear-facing claws,they also have deeper beaks.The call of the birds is different too,the females call is lower pitched than the males,the males can tend to sound like a scream.
Gee I am a mine of fascinating information

My son bought me my film `Streets of fire` Michael Pare,doing his mean brooding ` I am a tough guy with a heart` act,the acting is naff,the storyline is,well erm naff,the music is brilliant. A rock and roll fable it is called,and I love it. And it kept the kids entertained while I got some studying done. I must have been having a brain seizure moment when I agreed to have the elder two,but they didn`t do so bad.So no wandering outside last night or this morning,which is probably just as well as it is raining,has been all night.
It has been a long night,just drifting off at one point to be woken by a phone call from my daughter,who was supposed to be coming back here after her night out as her kids are here.To inform me that she wasn`t coming back and would be here this morning nstead. That was at ten past three.Then the son phoned at ten past six asking me to waken him for work,he had just finished work when he phoned he has to be back for eleven.I had already given up any hopes of sleep and was back with the grumbling books. I was thinking of the people that have passed through my life and have touched it in many different ways,the wonderful Geordie man that had taken me into his family,the reason that I support the football club that I do.My haven away from the torment of home,a short lived one as they had to move,but one that showed me not all families were like mine.The little old lady from down the road who taught me the secret of baking a good cake,that rose and was light as air. The one across the street from us who saved her threpenny bits and every year when the fair came she gave them to us to go to the fair with.The scots family four doors up who wowed us with his tales of poaching before coming to England and yorkshire.And later the Old scots lady we all called granma,my children loved her,she would wander across the road with a plate full of scots pancakes,with the excuse she had made too many for her lot,she was living with her son and his wife and their children. My children would spend hours over there. These were all people that touched my life in good ways,leaving precious memories behind.People that taught me there was a different way and encouraged me to find it. Not by anything they said but just by being who they were. Sometimes the people that teach us the most valuable lessons are the ones that dont try to.

Just a little play for a change

I love playing dress up

Where has the week gone??
Last night I went walkabouts again.I would have blogged this last night but my darling son wrenched me out of the house to go to his house to babysit,a whole night with no computer!!! Even though I wouldn`t have been on as I was studying,the fact that it is there when I take my breaks if I want to use it.
Anyway I went walkabouts but this time I didn`t wander far from where I live. I had the windows in the apartment open because it had been so warm,and then it started to rain.One of those April showers that seem to come from nowhere and last about ten minutes. It was the smell that drew me outside,that beautiful fresh smell you only get after rain,I dont believe a word has been invented for it,it is so green like standing in the middle of the woods and actually smelling the grass and leaves growing. I needed to go to the little shop anyway and decided it was as good a time as any. Refreshing spring rain was falling as I set off. The shop is less than five minutes away but,between my apartment and the little shop is a whole array of shops. I cross the little street and there is a Motor parts shop,sells everything from tools for fixing to things for placing in, Cd players/steering wheel clamps etc. Then you cross the two delivery roads,they lead to the back of the local Do-it-all. next is the Bluebird cafe,local greasy spoon that opens really early but also closes really early,they make a mean bacon and mushroom sandwich though then the wash and vac shop,next to that is the Italian restaurant,Piccolo Mondos, then the pub,then a travel agents,the Chinese take away,a hairdressers,a flower shop,a tropical animal shop ( snakes and lizards etc) another hairdresser and the little shop.On the opposite side of the road to the Chinese is the Indian take away/restaurant,another hairdresser,a private tutors,and Sainsburys garage. On leaving the shop and walking very slowly back to the apartment,I marveled at the different smells just in that one little piece of road. The beautiful green smell,and then the smell of the Chinese food,and the Indian food mingling,a bit farther on and the smell of the pub was outweighed by the smell of the Italian food,and as I passed them the Green fresh smell took over again. It really is amazing how much there is right outside your own front door

It has been a beautiful day,despite being inundated with family again. They have for some reason decided I neeed company,every day!!!
Anyway I decided to check the lottery numbers and I won!! A whole Ten pounds!! Now I know you are all sat there saying is that allWell when you have done the little act of impulsively,with a what-the-hell attitude of putting your very last pound on the lottery,winning a tenner is magnificent. Now it`s not much on the grand scale of things,but,if you look at it more as I put my last hundred pence on and made it a thousand,well it sounds much better.Empirical evidence perhaps of the old saying ' Look after the pennies and the pounds look after thamselves' .So yesterday I had a pound to my name and now I have ten!! whoohooo. Of course I will spend it wisely

Sleep yet again having eluded. Mister Sandman decided not to sprinkle golden dream dust into my apple green eyes and went instead to find more worthier eyes to sprinkle. I finally gave up even the pretence of trying to find that elusive land of nod and decided to go for a walk. Once work begins again I will be unable to do that often so thought I would make the most of it.
The sun of course is rising earlier so I set off about quarter past five,taking some apple pieces for my little Squirrelly friends and some bits of biscuit for the birds ( and the Squirrelly friends ) The Owls were calling their goodnight calls when I got to the woods,it was still dark so I went along the little path that leads to where I was going to watch the sunrise.It wasn`t pitch black dark,it was that strange light/dark you get just before dawn,as the sky is preparing to lighten.I was about half way along the path when I heard rustling to my left,where the path to the little valley is. I stopped and looked that way thinking I may get to glimpse the fox on its way home from a nights foraging.I had taken the bag of apple out of my pocket ready for when I reached the bench and was holding it in my hand.There just coming down from the valley were three deer,what looked like two does and a fawn. I stood really still hardly daring to breath,they were coming directly towards me and I didn`t want to scare them.They stopped a few feet away,just looking at me their long noses in the air sniffing,I was waiting for them to bolt,after all the man scent is not a pleasent one for them after the culling a few years ago. But they didn`t,the fawn came nearer,sniffing,and nearer. I have to admit my heart was beating like a drum,this was so exciting. His little cold nose touched my hand and it took me all my time not to jump it was so unexpected. He could smell the apple,when I moved my hands to take the apple out of the bag he jumped back and ran back to the females.But they didn`t bolt,they just stood looking,I took out some pieces and held out my hand,I never expected him to come back I thought at this stage he and they would be off,but tentatively he came back and sniffed at the apple in my hand.I dropped it on the ground and he retrieved it.Then he lifted his head and sniffed at my hand again. I took some more out and this time he stayed where he was,I held out my hand and he took the apple right out of my hand!! I repeated this till the apple was gone,being able at one point to actually stroke his neck while he was eating.When the apple was gone and he was nudging for more I laughed as I was telling him it was all gone.The does had made no move at all,but the minute I made a sound they made a snorting sound and he ran back to them and they were off.I stood and watched them trot down the path,just before they dissapeared out of sight one of the Does turned and looked right at me,just for a few seconds.Then they were gone. And I just stood there,awestruck,not believing what had just happened.The Sun was already rising and I had missed the first part,but I wasn`t bothered,what had just happened was just as awesome.I went and sat on the bench for a little while to gather my breath. I left the biscuit for the birds and the Squirrels ( none of which I had seen) and made my way home. Anyone who saw me would have thought I had lost it walking home with a great big smile on my face,shaking my head in wonder.At just going on seven in the morning.
It was a great start to the day,and tired as I might be I wouldn`t swap this morning for the sandmans bag of Gold dust

I always wanted to say that,I dont watch it honest
The Survival game was apparently thought up by the S.A.S? Now the fact that I know an ex-S.A.S personally and he roared with laughter when I showed him this paper and the answers has nothing to do with it. I will give you the answers as they were told to us.
In order of importance your items are.
Ciggarete lighter ( without fluid) Number 1...This is because you would use the spark from the lighter to create a fire.which is to keep you warm and make a signal.
Ball of Steel Wool No2........This is because the steel wall can be used as a conducter for the spark to create the fire.
Extra shirt and pants for each survivor no 3....To keep you warm and can be used as bandages or for signaling with.
Newspapers ( one per person ) no 4....This has two uses one for the fire of course and the second. Newspaper when placed between clothes and skin acts as insulation and keeps the body heat in thereby keeping you warm ( Anyone who has seen 'Day After Tomorrow ' Knows that one)
A small Axe no 5.....for firewood to keep the fire going.
20x20 ft piece of heavy duty canvas no 6....To make a shelter with
Family size bar of chocolate no 7......Of course for sustenance,and the surmise that it will in turn keep you warm.
A loaded 45 caliber pistol no 8.....For signalling with the international code for needing help three sharp shots. Also for scaring off wild animals. There was also this lonf fangled explanation of how you can start a fire with it.
One Quart of 100-proof whisky No 9.....This has little use beyond helping to get the fire going and maybe soaking cloth for signals. Drinking it at that temperature would freeze your throat and stomach.
Compass No 10....Could possibly be used to signal with ( Sun bouncing off glass)
A sectional air map made of plastic no 11.....According to the person that made the test this has little use beyond using it to sit on.
The reason for these answers. The surmise is that you will stay where you are,therefore you will have to keep warm and dry untill rescued,the plane was on a designated flight plan and as such the search will begin on that route.
So how many did you get right and what was your idea,stay put or head to town???

I had a Basic idea where the place was that I was having my assessment day. I dressed smart but casual,minimum of makeup,which was a good job really as it decided to rain as I walked through town.I put my long unruly hair into a single plait that hung down my back. I felt a little nervous,it is a long time since I have been on this end of the interview table. I was met at the door and escorted to the 'room' I was the second to arrive. By ten everyone that was going to come had,and it was decreed that we would start. There were eight of us out of the fifteen that had been summoned for the assessment. There were only six jobs available,3 part time and 3 full time.five of the people there wanted full time and the other three part time. We started with a run down of how the company started,yawn boring,I already knew all this. I had researched it before I went.Then we did what they called an exercise designed to assess how we solve problems and work as part of a team. These are basically Psychological exercises and eventually all firms will use these in interviews. The exercise went like this.
Survival Game
You and your companions have just survived the crash of a small plane. Both the pilot and c0-pilot were killed in the crash. It is mid-january,and you are in Northern Canada. The daily temperature varies between 5-10 degrees,and the night time temperature is 5-10 below zero.There is snow on the ground and the countryside is wooded with several creeks criss-crossing the area.The nearest town is 20 miles away.You are all dressed in city clothes appropriata for a business meeting.Your group of survivors managed to salvage the following items.
A ball of steel wool
A small axe
A loaded 45 caliber pistol
A compass
Ciggerate lighter( without fluid)
Extra shirt and pants for each survivor
20x20 ft piece of heavy-duty canvas
A sectional air map made of plastic
One quart of 100-proof whiskey
Newspapers ( one per person)
Family size chocolate bars ( one per person)
What we had to do was in five minutes list the importance of the items to our survival and then as a team take fifteen minutes to go through it together and list the ones we thought was important, Divided into two teams. I am not going to give you the answers here lets see if you can work it out.
After this we did some role play,which was linked with the job,this was individual to test your customer service skills. Then we had lunch. We had been told if you were invited for lunch you were through the first stage. After lunch came the interviews. My interview was the very last one. Which was fine because I was busy talking to the woman that had organised it all,turns out she supports the same football team as me so that was quite fun.
As I left at half three they told me they were now having a meeting to decide and we would hear tonight within the next two hours.
I waited and at half six decided that I obviousley hadn`t got the job. Just before seven the phone rang and it was they.
I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
As of monday I am once again part of the workforce

Well dressed casual anyway.today is the day I attend an assesment day to get a job.if I pass the assessment I get an interview,strange ways they have,used to be you just went and had an interview,for some jobs two. Never mind things move on I guess.
Catch you all later

A very good and lovely friend and I were chatting about music last night.Mainly eighties music,I loved the eighties music. That was my time of revelation so a lot of the music was particurlarly significant to me.Great tracks like 'Relax' Frankie goes to Hollywood and Wild Boys Duran Duran.Artists like Huey Lewis and the News,Spandau Ballet,Curtis Steigers,Ultravox oh wow when Midge Ure sang vienna Phew!! Kajagoogoo,Bad Manners, to mention but a few.
I have to admit though some of my favourite tunes from the eighties came from a film entitled Streets of Fire,it has to be one of the naffest films ever made and I love it!!! I have been trying to find the film for ages but it has dissapeared into the land of obscurity. I do however have some of the music from it. Tracks like ' Tonight is what it means to be young' and 'Nowhere Fast' the classic 'I can Dream about you' by Dan Hartman and 'Blue Shadows' by The Blasters.
I wonder how many eighties songs you lot can remember? And what were your Favourites

For the second day running I have had the entire family here,including my Brother.All day not just for a little while. Today I decided it was time for my grandaughter and I to have some quality time,she is my only grandaughter whereas there are four boys. She is a beautiful child,and yes I am prejudiced but she really is,she has beautiful golden hair that falls into natural ringlets.It is the same length as mine halfway between shoulder blades and waist So today I decided to pamper her,she is at that age where she hates mam brushing her hair,cos it pulls.She is seven in May. So I said why dont you let me wash it and do it.Just you and me we will do it like the hairdressers do.She was all for it,so off we went. I had her sat with her head leaned back and used the shower attatchment we have on the taps ( posh bath taps ) I gently washed and conditioned her hair,massaging her scalp.She loved it,I towel dried it and then sat and brushed it till it shone and the ringlets were bouncing back.She was almost asleep by the time I had finished. Grandson was feeling a bit left out,her brother the older one,so I let him help with lunch and he was happy again. I really enjoyed spending some one to one time with her and making having her hair done fun for her as well as me. Trouble is now she wants me to do it every week.
What have I started?

I used to be a little mouse wouldn`t say boo to a goose and everyone and anyone could walk all over me. At least thats what people thought.The main reason they thought this is because I was raised in a household where the male came first,whether it be The male parent or the brothers they came first,in everything. The word of the male was law,he was the head of the household and as such he was served first at mealtimes,he was given the best of everything and the most. This continued into my married life,dont think I didn`t answer back or argue etc,but in the end for the sake of a quiet life and to be allowed to raise my children in peace I put up with the derisive comments from him and his freinds,the never saying please or thankyou. Never a word of praise for the meal that took hours to prepare and cook.
My freedom didn`t come in a blinding flash,a wondrous moment of revealation. I had suffered a traumatic event and a year later I was still suffering from it,believing things could not get worse than they already were I was stunned when a series of tests revealed that I may have a life threatening illness. The speacilist in his matter of fact voice in a matter of fact tone said "we are not unduly worried but you must come in today we operate tomorrow" I made some feeble sounding excuses about having to sort the kids out and some other equally feeble stuff,in the end he said "fine go home but you will be here tomorrow by ten have nothing to eat or drink"
I went home having summoned the brother-in-law to come give me a lift. This is when it started,the dawning,the realisation if you like. All the way home,which was quite a distance he kept saying how upset his wife was ( my husbands sister) how upset he was,what this would do to the family. Not once did he ask how I felt,not once did he ask if I was ok. I got home and rang my sister to see if she would have the children,they came down her and her husband. And I went through the same rigmarole,what a shock it was to her,how it was affecting her. Now I am not an insensitive person and yes I know it was a shock to them all,yet not one of them asked how I felt,how this had affected me.After all it was me it was happening to. She agreed to take he girls but would not take my son the youngest the baby ( he was two ) so it was agreed that he would stay at home with husband. Who was already moaning about how this would affect him and his plans. Which made me laugh he had never had a plan in his life!! My brother T when he found out,was only concerned with how this would all affect his wedding plans as he was to be married nine days later.
I duly went into hospital the following day,was I scared? I was petrified!! That day was a no go I had my op and dont remember much. The following day my doctors lovely sidekick came to me ( she wasn`t beautiful just a lovely person which to me made her beautiful) and she said we have had to send the tests away and it will be a few days till we know,you have to stay here in case anything is needed to be done and so we can discuss treatmenst etc. So there I sat in hospital for a week,not knowing if I was going to live or die or how long I had or anything really. And I began to think about all the silly things. Not what I was going to do with my last few months but what I hadn`t done with the last few years. My husband came to visit and tell me how I was ruining his social life by having to stay in. I sat and looked at him and I thought it doesnt have to be like this,I dont have to do this,or put up with this anymore. At the end of the week I came out of hospital with the all clear,and a firm resolve to be me. It took time to make people understand that they could no longer walk all over me,I would no longer meekly stand by and allow them to say/do what they wanted. It wasnt a new me,it was the real me,the one that had always been hidden because I had to. She had come out for a while when I was alone with my first child but then she was hidden again.
Only once since then has she been hidden.
Someone asked me what blogging meant to me. This is what blogging means to me. It is a release for all this stuff that goes around in my mind,that is filling up the file cabinets and needs sorting.
It is also a place where I have read some wondrous stories,that make me realise that my life wasn`t so bad it could have been worse.
And of course where I have met some wonderful people.

I am according to my friends and family a very fussy person. I see it more as knowing what I do and dont like. For instance I will not eat tinned chicken and very rarely will I eat frozen chicken either,in fact I rarely eat any tinned meat or for that matter anything else in tins,all those E numbers and colourings not to mention the salt content.I very rarely eat beans or spaghetti tinned.But,every now and then I really really fancy spaghetti on toast.Like tonight. Now being the erm discerning person that I am on those few and very far between occasions when I partake of this delicacy I naturally insist on a certain brand. I never ever eat cheap brands of the long stranded stuff because, well it isn`t is it? I mean they chop it up,little tiny pieces! Yesterday my daughter had bought some spaghetti for me,she knows I will not eat the little tiny baby stuff. So she tells me I bought name brand mam. Thats fine I didn`t check she put it away. So tonight I gets out the pan and goes and gets the stuff out of the cupboard.And I am horrified nay gutted when I discover that it is HP,and it is cut into little baby strands. I tried it,but no the enjoyment was gone,the whole idea of spaghetti on toast that I was looking so forward to,those long,long strands curled up on those toasted pieces of bread. Smashed gone and all because it wasnt Heinz. I mean its not a lot to ask for really. Is it??

And so it does ( thats the Irish in me coming out) On wed as my friends do know my nephew rang me to try to locate his father,my brother. Who was apparently missing and had been since tuesday morning.Yesterday he was located,in hospital,seriously ill. Now for the full story which has had my nephew and myself totally stunned.
On Monday my brother T had a blackout,he was rushed to hospital. These blackouts are a regular thing at the moment,and untill they do the tests we have been pushing for will continue to be so, Not unduly worried knowing he was being kept in overnight my nephew sets off to work Tuesday morning,on a break he rings the hospital to find out when his father is coming home.They tell him we are releasing him this morning about ten. Believing that he would do what he normally does and get a taxi to mine untill son has finished work he is still not worried. Gets home from work,and then goes out with friends. Gets home late decides not to disturb his father as not hearing TV on he thinks he is asleep. Sets off for work wed,as he starts at the ridiculous time of six am,he doesn`t say bye just goes. Gets home from work and realises his dad hasn`t been home since the Tuesday when he was released from hospital.Rings me,then rings everyone he can think of. Rings hospital,no he isn`t there.Wed night we go out searching all the notorious spots. All night wed and all morning thurs he rings the hospital,every couple of hours. Thurs afternoon at half two he rings and they say yes he was admitted half an hour ago,he is very poorly. Nephew goes on to hospital. they takes him to this room and he couldn`t see his dad properly because he is in an oxygen tent and there are machines and tubes and god knows what surrounding him.He stays a little while,noone tells him anything apart from the doctor will be back later. He goes home to have some tea,gets back to the hospital and now he can see the guy in the bed as they have removed the tent,its not his dad!!! It takes him half an hour to get it through to hospital staff that this isn`t his dad,then they find Dad still in A& E. Apparently they hadn`t discharged my brother on Tuesday after all they had discharged him Thursday Afternoon they brought him home in an ambulance as he went to get out of the ambulance he slipped,they took him back to the hospital for a check up ( for fear of being sued) and left him sat in A&E waiting. When my nephew had rung my brother had been admitted to A&E half an hour before after being taken there by the ambulance bringing him home. He was never missing he was in hospital all the time,while we were traipsing the streets looking for him he was tucked up safe and sound in ward 9!!
Needless to say My Nephew and I have being having very serious words with the admin and heads will roll!
It really does beggar belief!

Without day, there would be no night
Without Dark, there would be no light
Without laughter, there would be no tears
Without bravery, there would be no fears
Without the thorn, there would be no Rose
Without friends, there would be no foes
Without faith, there would be no fate
Without love ,there would be no hate
Without peace, there would be no strife
Without death, there would be no life.

Having nothing much to do all night I decided to go through my photographs that needed sorting for putting in albums. And I came across a couple of the dogs I used to have,Bambi and Tessa. Bambi was a Jack Russell cross and Tessa was a Border Collie. They used to get up to all sorts of silly stuff together,out of the two Tessa was the most obediant,though she had her moments. Bambi was not a bad dog and was usually obediant unless of course she came across a hedgehog,she had a thing about hedgehogs,because they curled into a ball I think, she would then spend as long as she could trying to get them to uncurl. And trying to pry her away once she had found one was an art. And digging,you could point at a pice of ground and say to her dig and off she would go,and wouldn`t stop either she loved digging. Unfortunately as loving as they were and as much as I loved them when my son and his family came to live they had to go,they couldn`t tolerate the children,they never bit and probably never would but they had started curling their lips when the children came near me or them.And it was too big a risk to take. I found them both lovely homes with no children and they are happy and well looked after. I still miss them though.
This is Bambi with my son

This is Tessa with my son when she was six months

An update on my brother,he was admitted to hospital this afternoon at two thirty. No one knows where he has been but at least we now know he is safe though at this moment very poorly. Thankyou to all for your thoughts.

Thats what we are doing right now the family,and it is so frustrating. I want to be out there doing something,anything just doing something.
In order for you to understand what I am on about I will give you a summary of events. I blogged some time ago about my Brother T and his drink problem. That last year he tried to kill himself and that since that time he had cut me out of his life sort of. Up to a few weeks ago when he suddenly turns up on my doorstep wishing to borrow money. He has become a regulat visitor since then. I last saw him Saturday,I knew he wouldn`t come up Sunday because his son was at home. He had said he would come Monday when he didn`t I wasn`t too worried. I got a phonecall this afternoon to say he is missing. Apparently he was admitted to hospital on Monday again ( since last year he has blackouts) he was discharged yesterday morning and has not been seen since. We have been everywhere we can think of.We have even contacted hospitals out of the area.We have rung everyone there is to ring. And now the police tell us we can do nothing but wait.
And the waiting is driving me even crazier than I already am.Later when he finishes work my son and some friends are going cruising some notorious spots,where people that like to drink in secret go. And thats it all we can do.
looks like being a long,long night

There I was wandering along minding my own,had decided to go to the shop down the road rather than the supermarket that didn`t shut till ten,because it was nearer and my fav programme would be starting soon. I had run out of coffee and there was no way I could survive with no coffee,especially if it is to be another night of no sleep! It is a fairly busy road most of the day but usually by eightish it has quietened down. For some reason tonight it was still fairly busyish and I had watched carefully for the changes in the lights farther down. I decided to cross the road was clear,I went to step out and stopped as I heard someone call my name. As I pulled my leg back a car went flying into the space where my body would have been. Lord knows where it had come from it wasn`t there a minute ago,it was a black car and the idiot had no lights on?? He was driving very fast and had the lights not been in his favour at the bottom of the road there would have been a nasty accident as there was no way he was stopping.
And the person that called my name? Noone there,I looked and noone around at all!!!
I got my coffee,I needed one after that!

Our dear friend has mailed and asked that I tell you that he needed a break and he may or may not return at some future point. He is very busy and has a lot going on right now.He also said thankyou to all of you for your concern and you all have to comment on here as much as is needed to stop that Juzzzy being number one for at least one day
Had a pretty full day myself yesterday with All the family deciding to land at the same time and stay all day. Middle child was the last to leave and she caught the five to eight bus home.Tidying up took me a while,though the little ones had tidied their toys away.Then the computer refused to start,now that isn`t normally too bad I would have just left it and dealt with it later this morning or something. But I had need to speak to someone I couldn`t reach any other way and I have an assignment to complete. I got it going eventually but ended up with no sound and no Icon bar.This morning has given me my Icon bar back but still no sound. Son was going to have a look before he went off to Leeds ( leaving me with the Destructor of course) but as is usual with my son he left everything till the last minute and didn`t have time just appearing to drop off said child and a " We wont be late " as he shot out of the door.
Ah well silence is Golden they say

The sun is shining but who knows how long for,it looks lovely out there,and I shall at some point after a nice hot shower go and brave the town.Not that it will be actually braving it today because I probably wont even notice anyone. I am in what my son used to call a thinking mood. Some of my friends would call it a Philisophical mood.
When I was young my Mother used to call it my withdrawn mood,it wasn`t,it was just that I found as I got older she didn`t really have anything of value to say to me. I used to listen to the other mothers on the street handing out pearls of wisdom to their children,I would watch as the child would recieve a cuddle and an Aww poor thing and a plaster for their grazed knees,and I would wonder why my mother didn`t do that. Didn`t she love us? Were we bad kids? She used to in vague and distant memories in that hot place where we lived,I remember being cuddled,but then when I allowed myself to think of that place properly it wasn`t her that gave out them cuddles it was the Armour ( servant) It may seem cruel and insensitive to say she didn`t have anything of value to say to me,but mostly the words that she said were do this or do that,or why have`nt you.When I was 16 she tried holding what she termed conversations with me. She would go on about such things as Top of the Pops and groups and singers and fashion and I would sit and look at her and think,you dont even know what I like,what I am about. You dont know that I would rather have the latest top ten book than the top ten album or single. When you asked me what I was doing the other day and I said writing poetry you told me to stop wasting my time on that crap. You think poetry is the stuff that comes on cards. Lets talk she said. Why mam are you bored? Then I would feel guilty and think well it wasn`t her fault,and find a thousand excuses why she wasn`t like other mams.
As I have got older and raised my own family I have learnt that you cannot always know what your Children are about,what they are thinking. It isn`t possible to do that with anyone really. I did however know what they liked in terms of the world around them,When my Girl went mad over the programme Blossom and watched every episode.I always knew what bands they liked,how they were doing at school,I prided myself on being a good mam or as good as I knew how. So it was quite a shock to me when I found my Daughter was self harming.And suddenly I was my mam! How could I not know,how could I not see the pain she was going through? When I had first noticed the cuts and questioned them I accepted the excuses,how could I do that?
But I wasn`t my mam,I wasn`t willing to go on accepting excuses that when first muttered sounded feasible,but when the cuts continued and fresh ones could be seen ( she kept them hidden well ) I questioned more and finally she told me. We sat and talked,I tried to help her sort out what was wrong in her life. Why hadn`t she told me? I guess all parents go through this,at some point.Her brother and sister were straight A students,they didn`t even have to try,she had to study hard for every mark attained. They were popular,outgoing,she was withdrawn and didn`t make friends easy.Try telling a child that she isn`t judged by what she attains or how many friends she has but by just being her,try telling her that the things she does are just as good and as important as the things the others did. It didn`t matter to me if she didn`t pass her exams with A`s and B`s or even if she passed them at all,it only mattered that she was happy. If she wanted space and quiet to study,then she would get it,if she wanted time out to do her own thing,I would support her. Finally she understood.
No I am not my mam,when I say to my children when giving them a cuddle it will be better tomorrow,it usually is.

At four thirty this morning I stood at the window and watched,nothing,no cars,no wagons,too early for little birdies to decide they were still alive and sing about it. The wind had died down so the windows were still,no rattling. It was as though the world had entered a vacum,so quiet it was. It didn`t last long,but long enough for reflective thinking.It is strange how total quiet always sets you to thinking,it isn`t always a good thing though, thinking. Sometimes you find yourself analysing things you shouldn`t analyse,things you should take at face value becasue analysing them makes you look at them differently and sets you off wondering,why? And why is not always a good thing to start asking yourself,because it generally leads to what ifs,or I shouldn`t have said that or done that and then you are off on a whole new tangent. You cannot change what is done,no matter how much you may want to,the past is the past.All you can do is make the most of the good and learn by the bad.
I have/had a friend,I use both the contexts because right now I am not sure she still is a friend. When I first got talking to her we found that we shared a lot of laughter and she told me all about herself and her life and it became the norm that her emails/messages were always full of what people did to her/said to her and how unfair it all was.And her kids and her day to day life. For over a year this went on,she would rant and rave about this person or that person,and I would calm her and talk her out of the mood and she would be fine for a while. We both belonged to this site,it was mainly Americans ( as was/is she) but had a number of people from other countries,for some reason that I have never been able to fathom she took a dislike to a woman from Canada,she tells me this woman had been on a different site at the same time as her and made her life hell. Though she had said this about a few people even on the site we were on. This site had what were called topics,you posted a topic and people answered,or you answered someone elses,not a bad site,it was fun most of the time apart from the silly petty arguments that kept flaring up.Anyway this woman from Canada had just posted that she had been having trouble with her comp and it was the same as I had just gone through so I answered her,with commiserations as you do,and she answered me etc etc. Next thing I get an email from my friend saying how I had betrayed her and how hurt she was that I would converse with this woman after all she had done to her and that it showed my total lack of concern for how she felt?? I mailed back and pointed out that this woman had never said a thing wrong to me and as the ' conversation' had been purely about computers how could it be seen as an act of betrayel?? Nevertheless she took the huff and stopped mailing me.A few weeks later she was conversing with this same woman about some thing that had been on the TV. I left it and got on with my normal routines. After months of no contact she mailed me one day out of the blue and told me how much she missed me and she wanted to be friends again,I didn`t visit the site as much anymore what with study and work and other things.I agreed that we could start mailing again,and so we did,but somehow it wasn`t the same. I dont hold grudges,but within the first few mails she was back to the ranting and raving about how bad people were to her. I found this amusing in some ways because it was she that started most of the petty arguments,then complained when they retaliated.The Administrator of the site warned her that she had to change her behaviour as there were kids of 13 on this site,she didn`t she got kicked off,but it was the admin that had it in for her,and the admin was nuts etc etc. I continued mailing with her but warned her that with my studies there could be gaps in the frequency of the mails.Which there has been.Last night I mailed her and asked her how she was and everything as normal,I have recieved no reply so I guess she has decided that she has more important friends on the new site she is on.She uses the same server as me so I know her comp is ok. Trouble is I feel relieved so what does that say about me?
I looked back on a lot of things in my reflective time,thats what you get for talking about things that are normally buried somewhere beneath the pile of other things in the dark cavernous file rooms of the mind. Maybe it was time,maybe it is just the illness lowering defences that are normally solid.Maybe it was because sometimes it is nice to be able to be the other person in a conversation,and again maybe I shouldn`t wonder why,but just accept that it happened as rare as it may be.
Maybe I am just tired.
It is raining,and it is miserable and grey out there. I have Cbeebies playing in one ear and Flip`n fill playing in the other,time for a change of music I think though this is upbeat and despite the fact that my post may not reflect it so am I.
After all problems are just solutions in workclothes.

It is a glorious day,the sun is shining it is warm what more could a person ask for? Today is my do nothing much day as I have the destructor,who I might add is being unusually good and quiet. Later we will sit and watch A Sharks Tale. Oh such joy.
My wheeze has diminished after a very rough night,it is now only there when I exert myself too much like going up and down stairs to feed the dryer.So well on the mend and wanting to go out and play in the sunshine.
Todays song challenge is a little different,I am going to do two instead of the normal one.
The first is to find songs with Day or Night in the title.
Miss you nights...Cliff Richard
Saturday night at the movies...The Drifters
Rainy Days and Mondays....Carpenters

The second part is songs with Items in the title,you know things like
Last Train to Clarkesville... The monkees
Blue Suede Shoes....Elvis
Little Arrows.....Leapy Lee
Get the picture?
Over to you

Ever had one of those days where your head isn`t your head? Or at least it feels that way,like it belongs to someone else and your actual head is somewhere else and this one doesn`t work very well?
Antibiotics have this effect on me where they make me feel like I cant grasp the simplest of things or focus on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. It doesn`t last long normally just the first few hours of them getting in my system and then it eases off.But,the Doctor man in his infinate wisdom decided that I needed to double up on the first days dosage.This is apparently due to being allergic to penicillin because penicillin works faster than the alternative. After spending all night feeling as though someone was sitting on my chest and being unable to breath without accompanying myself with a musical wheeze it seems I have a chest infection made worse by the fact that I am asthmatic,though I have been controlling my Asthma without using medication for well over a year now it has been aggrivated by the infection.
Ah well not to worry the thing will be gone in a few days.
So it is Friday night and due to being a little not-quite-here all day I haven`t done this weeks Friday song challenge.
So I think we will have Songs with colours in the title.
Yellow...Coldplay
Yellow Submarine...Beatles
Tie a yellow Ribbon......Dawn
Hmmm mine all seem to be yellow ah wait a minute
Black is Black...Los Bravos
Your Turn

I did make it or create it or whatever you do a while back. I am only posting it because I haven`t the energy to write anything.

Bit of poetic licence there

Thats the general idea today anyway. My apartment looks like I had the terrible twosome for a week. so I decided to have a good clean up day,and polish and all that stuff and make it look as though someone actually lives here and it isn`t a playground for Destructive Kiddlywinkles.My main problem ( apart from blogland) is I seem to have developed this not so pretty sound every time I breath more than a shallow breath. I seem to have a cold which is nothing and can be dealt with. I usually work them out,but my chest has become tight and I am making a lovely wheezing sound when I try to move faster than a snails pace ( Sorry Snail no offence ) But this also is not a problem I shall just dig inhalers out of retirement and all will be well again.
The sun is shining and it is a perfect day to spring clean. On with the music,loud of course,and into the fray we go.
I will be back at some point but looking at this place who can say when that will be.
Have a good day all

I am sat here merrily minding my own business,studying away ( OK so I was blogging too) daughter has gone,finally. Daughters visits at the moment are a pain,as since the discovery of impending motherhood (which was not greeted by me with enthusiasm but I said all the right motherly things) she has decided that pregnancy is an illness and not the beautiful time of glowing skin and growing baby it should be. I am not too good,she is worse. I didnt want to compare illnesses and told her mine was probably just a bug and was regaled with how many times she had had morning sickness etc etc in the past week.
Anyway she has gone I am on the phone arguing with the electric board when the mobile goes,now this is fun I am talking on the house phone to one person and on the mobile to another. I tells son on the mobile wait one sec, and finishes the argument with the electric board by telling them to " get it sorted fast" ( Are these guys automatons or what? ) then son says to me " You know that fridge/freezer you wanted with the fridge on top and the freezer on the bottom "
" Yes what about it"
" Well it will be there in ten minutes" and he hangs up.
Whoa wait a minute! Trys ringing him back,busy line. What am I supposed to do now? I have fridge/freezer in pantry old worthless piece of junk though it is it has my stuff in. I do not have time to clear out all the things in pantry,pan rack ironing boards,etc etc to enable me to move fridge/freezer before other comes. He is having me on thinks I.
But no he isn`t,within ten miutes he and some other guy walks ( I say walks it was more like staggers ) into my kitchen with this dirty great fridge/freezer plonks it down in middle of floor says there you go and buggars off!
" What about the other one " I called after him
" Later am busy " he calls back.
So I inspected the new machine,gave it a clean ( yes it was but I always do) connected it and in a few moments am going to attempt to place it in a more conveniant position than the middle of the kitchen floor! It is 5ft 6inch tall which makes it only slightly bigger than me (unless I put my heels on but not conducive to moving fridges in) It is wider than I am so this is going to be heaps of fun. But I have been on my own many years and fridge/freezers are not the biggest or heaviest things I have moved so it should be OK,I hope.Then I have to transfer food ( what food?) from one to the other which gives me the chance to clean the freezer out which I have been getting round to for about two weeks.
course I could just go look at some blogs while I am here

I feel really really rough this morning,there is no reason for this that I can think of. My head is pounding,my eyes feel like someone poured something not nice in them while I slept ( did I mention that I actually managed to get a few hours sleep) something that is making them sting and ache and just generally be sore. My body feels like something trampled all over me,my get up and go seems to have got up and gone!!.(I am blaming that Juzzzy!! He needs to keep his hangovers to himself )
But!!!
The sun is shining,it is warm,I got a whole chapter of text book work done last night ( if you saw the size of the chapters you would understand why thats a feat) I have spoken to friends this morning ( well sort of) One of whom sent me some beautiful pictures. I read a couple of blogs ( with difficulty I might add) and saw that there are those having a much worse morning than me.Nothing bad has happened. I dont have the destructor untill at least Friday as he has gone away for a few days,apart from the noise of the traffic it is peaceful.I can get on with my study,clean and generally relax in peace.
I am alive and free,what more do I need?

With life.
Isn`t life great? even when it is shite there is always something to make you smile. Having failed to find the fabled land of nod,I decided to go walkabouts. The rain had stopped and it was just starting to get light so I wandered off down to the river,the other side this time.Down the bottom of where I used to live. It can be a bit scarey if you`re not used to the area as you have to go down this long path which has the back of some manufacturing plant on one side with trees and shrubs etc,and the river and trees on the other,you then have to pass under the tunnel with the railway on top ( We used to stand under there and wait for the trains to rumble over it when we were little,awesome ) anyway then you carry on with walls at either side one side isn`t too bad too big to see over without standing on tiptoe but not big enough to block out the light,the other side is the wall to the works farther down. At the bottom of this path is a bridge thats where we stand to watch the river,there is a little waterfall there and me and my young ones have spent hours of fun watching the antics of the wildlife. I didn`t expect to see anything this morning just wanted the walk so I was pleasently surprised to see a family of ducks. Mama duck and five little ducklings. Now the waterfall is only about six or eight inches high,but the way it is constructed makes it look quite pretty. Mama duck took the five little ducklings down the waterfall and under the bridge,I couldnt follow them from there as the view at the other side is blocked by a high wall. A few minutes later they were back. Mama duck then showed little duckies how to climb up the waterfall,at one side it is set like steps,little rocks that they climbed up on and then they were back in the water and off they went,only as they swam off there are only four little ducklings?? I looked down at the waterfall and there trying in vain to swim up the water is number five,it paddled to the steps and I thought oh he will do it now,up on the first bit it jumped and then slid straight back down,splash back into the water.four or five times I lost count I was too busy laughing,Mama and the others had gone,disapeared out of sight and just when I thought I was going to have to go paddling back she came. She sat at the top and quacked away at this little duckling but to no avail,he just couldn`t master those steps,each time he slid back down in the water.After a few minutes she comes sliding down the waterfall and goes up to him and sticks her beak under his backside and flips him up to the top of the steps,I am by this time crying with laughter ( and getting some very strange looks from the guys going into work!) She then hops up the steps and giving him another little peck she then lifts her wing and sweeps him to her side, rubbing his little head with her beak,that was so sweet I just stood there watching as she told him off and then gave him what looked like the equivalent of a hug and a kiss.Then off she goes with him swimming behind. I waited a while but they didn`t come back so I came home.
The rest of the day so far hasn`t been that good apart from an hour ago when my son arrived with a box of Black Magic for me,just a little something for having Kian tonight while they go see the Vicar. Paaaddy I need some wine!!!
And you all thought I was going to announce something else,sorry life is the only thing I am in love with

So far today I have been rained on,Hailed on,Spat at and called some very nasty names,and it isn`t even Lunch time yet!
I only wanted some bread so I could make a sandwich. I had to check the bank to see if the money I was supposed to recieve two weeks ago had finally got there,it hadn`t. That means another day of ringing people who always seem to be conveniently out to try and establish when they are going to pay me money they owe me so I can pay my rent! My landlord is hovering with that 'pay me soon or else' look in his eyes and BT sent me a pretty letter with a red border.Wasn`t that sweet?
I braved the supermarket,pretty easy since I was already riled up over not being paid,and caught it at a time when it was fairly empty.I got in the checkout queue behind an OAP couple and nearly gagged at the smell,which was a mixture of very strong perfume and stale urine.Seems neither of them had a sense of smell!! I think it is sad when that happens,because they were a clean looking nicely dressed couple and when they smiled at me I smiled back,and off they went hand in hand.
I decided to walk across the carpark as the rain had stopped ( and the hail) and just before the end was accosted by some drunken guy railing on about 'Pakis' I tried to walk round him but he kept stepping in front of me. I asked him politely to move out of the way and he started to give me a torrent of abuse and waving his arms all over the place. By this time I am getting annoyed and politely told him to go away and find someone else to abuse. I guess he must have realised I was serious because he moved out of the way still calling me nasty names,I didn`t realise there were so many! He then spat at me twice!! As it happened he missed thank goodness.His hostility was quite frightening though I remained outwardly calm.
Anyway I am back in the apartment and calming down with a coffee and now I shall go do something constructive like erm I dont know but something.
It is set to be a long day.

It`s a beautiful morning,a cloudless sky and the sun is shining. Must be back from its holidays I will be able to take a walk if the Destructor gets picked up before the sun decides thats enough for the first day back and toddles off again.So looks like the Ark building is on hold for now Sorry AJ Home owners along the river will be giving big sighs of relief and telling everyone how they knew it would be fine.This time mate what about next time? I was discussing going to New York yesterday,well sort of discussing it,one of the reasons I have never considered it was because of the crowd factor,every time I see News pics or any other type of pics the pavements (dont they call them sidewalks there? ) are full of people. But the more I see and the more people talk about it,the more I have this yearning to go. A friend suggested I just do a long weekend,because of the crowd thing and if I liked and was ok I could go again for longer. Well since my Nevada trip has had to be put off till next year I am giving the New York weekend very careful consideration.
And it has also inspired todays song theme.
Todays song theme is songs with Place names in their title. This probably wont be as easy as the last ones,but then again knowing how musical you all are
I will start with.
If your going to San Francisco....Scott MaCenzie
New York New York....Frank Sinatra ( I had to do that one )
Massachusets.....BeeGees
Streets of London......Cat Stevens ( and various other people )
Now its over to you

I have decided to make a proper meal for my evening repast. Not something I do often,normally I just microwave something and steam some veggies to go with it. Cooking for one doesn`t have the same feel to it as cooking for two or a family so mostly I dont bother unless the family comes.Tonight I am feeling like I need proper food. So pork chops cooked very slowly with potatoes,steamed veg and gravy.I have even made apple pie for dessert.
My son arrived this afternoon to tell me all about his re-launch. The smile on his face said it all really,you wouldn`t have known that he didn`t finish work till 6am,he was full of it.
The place was as they anticipated packed to capacity both upstairs and down,he had decided that he would keep the entrance fee at its normal rate,though most places do raise their entrance fee when they have celebrities on. Apparently quite a few people thought that the entrance fee would be higher. He told me of one incident where a guy said to him how much to get in upstairs,he told him the guy said "no way my mates have gone to the K2 ( The other night club in town) cause they thought it would be like double" So phone them my son says,but the guy tells him his battery is dead,ok my son says you nip down the K2 and fetch them back and you get in for free. The guy trundles off to get his mates Mike thinks he is going to come back with three or four,when he comes back there are twelve of them. This was pretty much the setting for the night,people were arriving in parties of eight and ten. Mike started on the downstairs door then transferred to the upstairs door as well as having to circulate and work the bar.
Anyhow it was a huge success the DJ Danny Bond was knocked out by his reception ( His words apparently ) So Mike says to him " So how about doing it every month then? " And he said yes! They went and did a bookings contract and they now have him once a month.
The guys at head office have big smiles on their faces this morning as the re-launch even after costs and overheads are taken out has netted them in excess of five grand.
Well done my son

It is still raining,four days with perhaps two hours each day where the sun shines.It has rained solid since about five last night and there is no sign of it letting up,I have visions of building an Ark and sailing off down the main street picking up passengers as I go. The river is swollen,the little one,and they have started to put up barriers along the paths because the little River doesn`t have flood barricades. So even if I could get out for a walk ( which I cant because I have the Destructor) I am unable to walk by the River. The people that live along the Big River are already looking apprehensively at the flood barriers and hoping that they will do their job,the trouble is that the barriers only extend so far and if it cant find its way out there it will find its way out elsewhere. Probably farther down where the people who think it is super cool and trendy to have open Gardens at the rivers edge are going to find those gardens underwater if this rain doesn`t let up. It is dreary it is depressing,it feels like the sun has gone on holiday and left a substitute that isn`t doing a full days work.
But I am still smiling for now anyway. A message from my son at six this morning when he finally finished work ( he had been there from one pm the previous day )to say great night am Knackered will pick Kian up this aft. which means I wont get up till about two,but thats ok as long as things went well for him.
Todays song challenge is songs with names in the title. Like
Brianna....Stevie Nicks ( Fleetwood Mac)
Honey..... Bobby Golsboro ( I personally cannot stand that song )
Lady Linda..... Beach Boys
Get the picture

Edited to include.
Sweet Caroline.....Neil Diamond
Come on Eileen....Dexys Midnight runners.
and can we do better