Just Me!! The Butterfly effect

Some days ago CJ issued me a challenge,which I duly accepted. Firstly I will state the rules of The Challenge game that my friends and I play.
The basic rule is that a person or group may challenge another person or group to perform a task herein called The Challenge. The person being challenged may accept or refuse the Challenge if the Challenge is refused the person or group face a forfiet. If accepted and successfully completed the Person or group challenging pay a forfeit ( this is nothing to do with money) If the person fails the challenge they have to pay a forfiet. Neither the challenges or the Forfiets are allowed to be in any way Derogatory or life threatening to the Challenged participant or any member of the public that may become unwittingly involved in said challenge,or to any person or group that may be paying the Forfiet
Here are your Sentences CJ.

After Being Challenged Dictionery Equipped,Forward Going,Haltingly I Jotted Key Litany,Meandering Numbingly Oratory Preambles Quite Rightly Stating That Under Violent Water Xanthics Your Zither.

A bountiful cabotage easily drifted forward going home in juxta-kalpis, leaning more north over points quite rightly, sailing towards uberty vaccary west, xerophobus yet zazzy.

A big cat died early February; Gloria hollered "I just killed little Manx Noodles over past Queensferry Road, sorry, the udometer visibly went xanthic you zebra!"

I am considering a suitable forfiet

When the sun rose I was sitting atop the hill where I sat many times as a child and a young teen.There spread before me the town I have lived in since forever,well the main part of it anyway. The Town part of it. Shopping centre to the left with the local Market and morrisons.Further to the left the town begins to lead out into the suburbs along two main roads one to Oakworth and one that leads up to Haworth,it splits just before Haworth at Crossroads and one road takes you to Bronte Land and the other to Halifax or round into Bradford and on and beyond. In front of me lies the streets and houses where I was raised. At the bottom of there a new block of houses has arisen from the ashes of old cobbled streets.next to that,and at the bottom of the street I lived in there is a single storied factory. Another street and a car park that was built many moons ago when I was still at home. Quite a visionary one for so long ago,uncovered and built on three levels and I dont mean three stories,but actually on three different levels as it takes up the entire block that used to house two full streets of houses.with steps leading from the highest level to the lowest and flowers,bushes and trees planted at each level to disguise the coldness and practicality of such a monstrosity.Or you can walk from the level you are on out onto the street and off to wherever you wish to go. Beyond that the building that has been there since forever it seems,but at least since I was a child and young enough to imagine Trolls and Dwarves at the bottom of the two deep recesess at the sides of its entrance steps.They were actually quite big and not at all dark and frightening unless your big brother climbed back out and left you there, you being far too small to climb out yourself. And then the hero Knight comes and rescues you ( big brothers big friend) and fights the Trolls and banishes the Dwarves. OK so he just helped me out,it was the same thing Now that got me to thinking about C. My big brothers best friend for so many years,I adored C,he never made me feel ugly or useless like everyone else did. He never put me down about my writing and he never minded if I tagged along with him and big Bro. When I became a teenager,at 16 C and I dated,but only for a little while,it just wasn`t going to work with him and me he was far too much like a big brother. We both agreed on that and from then on just went out as friends. As is inevitable we lost touch,big Bro joined the Army and he and C saw less of each other,they drifted off in different directions and led different lives especially when big Bro was stationed abroad for so many years. Years later my daughter Laura came home with a friend from school,this friend only lived on the road and when she told me her name it didn`t click at first,but when her dad came for her it did. This was c`s daughter and we struck back up our old friendship,I met his wife and we got on really well. Isnt life strange? I have moved since then but we still see each other now and then.Have a laugh and a chat.
Anyway beyond that building is the railway station. The main lines to Leeds and Bradford,Skipton and Carlisle.And the Worth Valley Steam Train lines run from here too.They go to Oakworth,Haworth and Oxenhope. Always full of tourists in the season and out of it. As we go to the right it becomes a lot more rural.Here we lead off to the moors,though that is to the right and up,to the right and down are the main roads to the cities and the little towns in between. There are a couple of Farms,beyond the industrial estate,which is nicely disguised with gree and cream coloured buildings and lots of trees and bushes.
I had sat quite a long time and the sun has decided to stay out today,it has taken a bit of the chill out of the air.And though I was a wee bit chilly at the beginning I felt a lot warmer by the time I decided I had better come back and do some work. After all I had been wandering out there since half four and it was after eight.So I wandered back past trees and flowers whose leaves and petals had been tight curled against the night and were now unfolded and basking in the warmth from the sun. I rarely say I am coming home,or going home. I dont think I have ever lived anywhere that has felt like that. Guess I will find that place eventually. For now the Apartment keeps me safe and gives me a place to work and live. It isn`t that bad,better than some places I have lived. Though there is no garden and thats something I would like,eventually.

What a pain trying to post anything on blog.co is becoming. Last night and this morning every time I have tried to post a comment or go into a blog I got web site not responding. This morning it has taken over an hour just to sign in and the minute I tried to go onto a page web site not responding. They really need to get their act together no other website has this problem continuously like Blog.co does. I just don’t have time to mess about like this,when I take a break from studies I want to be able to go read my friends blogs and leave comments, not mess about for hours just trying to get into a page!! Blog.co will be finding themselves without any members at this rate. Any post I write now has to be done on word document and then C&P`d onto site because each time I try to post the site goes down. It is just not good enough,come on guys,get it together you are supposed to have improved the site,and it is worse than ever!! And now I don’t have time to ramble dagnabbit!
I apologise to my friends for not visiting and leaving comments but every time I try the site goes down and as patient as I am this is just extracting the urine a tad too much.
Right rant over and I shall ( hopefully) leave you with a thought for the day.

Sometimes when I look back over time and think of all the things that have happened there is a hole,like a vacum I suppose,and I cannot see beyond that hole. Beyond it is my childhood and to be honest it doesn`t matter that most of it is a blank,that it is lost down that hole swimming in the netherworld of repressed memory. I often look on my life as beginning when my childrens lives began.When my very first child came screaming into this world to waken me from the stupor that I classed as my life untill the minute she arrived. I remember more now of that past than I did,and being able to write things down is in part the reason for that,you start to write things and out of nowhere comes a memory and sometimes it is good but most times you realise why you didn`t want to remember it in the first place. My children were the essence of my life and all other things were put on hold for them. They have given me great joys and the deepest of griefs. There is nothing more heart wrenching than losing someone you love,than them being taken from you and you knowing you will never see them again in this lifetime. Those that have read my ramblings know of my children,the ones that I write of,my three wonders of nature. But what only a very few know is that there were another three. Three daughters,and though one of them it may be said was too ill to live for long ( she was four months old when she died) the other two graced my life for much longer,One was 11 years old when she died and the other was 4 years old when she died. I lost them both on the same day and while I am not yet ready to tell the full story suffice it to say that this was the worst time of my life,nothing that happened to me in my childhood bad as it was,and nothing that has/could happened to me since could compare to this day when they were taken from me. Many times I have written a piece about them only to wipe it and write something totally different,something totally rambling and inane. But today I recieved a very touching and lovely communication from a friend,she too has suffered the loss of a child and yet she is not afraid to say so,not afraid to show her grief when it overcomes her. She has strength far beyond that which I have. And two other very dear friends that know about it and know also of my reasons for not talking of it,they tell me that on here my reasons are invalid,because on here I cannot see that look in peoples eyes when they hear for the first time. I cannot see the struggle as they think of topics to talk about that will not touch on any subject that might make me ' upset' and if they turn away as many do it will not matter for perhaps I wont even know they have gone. I want to thank those friends they know who they are. For thier support through my bad month and for thier words when they heard my story. When people say to me how strong I am,how I have come through tough times and yet still remain enamoured of life I often wonder am I? I dont have the strength to talk of the worst time in my life. But Strength is gathered from those around us and from what we read and those that support us. So yes I am strong but my friends make me that way.So today I tell a little bit. Maybe one day I will tell it all.

Two rambles in one day. Lots of stuff going on in my head right now,is it a full moon or something? Actually no it is a waxing moon thats probably why I am so erm rambly??
Anyway have been visiting friends on my list,leaving the odd ( hehehe they usually are from me ) comment here and there. Perusing and linking on to blogs I haven`t read before. I have found some pretty good ones over the past couple of days,very interesting. On a Sunday I usually visit my friend Stoneleaf He doesn`t post all the time sometimes just once a week,but I do like to go and read when he does,his writing really kicks. If you haven`t read this guy why dont you give him a whirl. http://viewfromthecheapseats.blog.co.uk And he doesn`t need me to generate him traffic he genuinely is a good read. Not everyones cup of tea,but are any of us?
I have had a pretty up and down week,a lovely high yesterday with my flowers from my lovely friend. But my lows have been way low. I lmost gave up my studies,almost threw it all in said thats it I have had enough,well actually I did say I have had enough. Two reasons really one being these damn statistics and trying to remember what is a one tailed and a two tailed Hypothesis,Quasi-experiments,Correlation experiments etc etc. For some reason I just haven`t been able to get my head round them all,no matter how hard I tried I kept getting my variables wrong and getting frustrated with myself for not being able to do it. Then I gets the curriculum for next year. Thats ok,I expected that,gives me time to work out which ones I am doing in my seemingly never ending quest. Except it wasn`t ok,attatched to it is my compulsary subjects,and a breakdown of what I am expected to do and why etc etc. Whoa this is totally different suddenly to what I had been told I could and couldn`t do and not only would it mean I had wasted a whole year on a subject that I want to do but would add on a whole eighteen months to two years of study. It was like the straw that broke the Donkeys back,it arrived on a bad day,I had spent hours grappling with a subject that just didn`t want to enter and stay in this dull brain of mine and I just said thats it enough!! I told myself off for being too stupid to grasp what should have been simple,what kids are doing in school for goodness sake! And I left the books and turned on the comp and chatted to a friend and then I thought while I am on here I will mail my Tutor and tell her thats it. I would finish this year and then no more,so I did. My Friend had cheered me up somewhat so when I mailed her the mail wasn`t as bad as it could have been. She immediately mailed me back and told me she was sure they had it wrong but she would check for me,which she did. It turned out they were wrong. The one they had mailed me was for people starting thier courses at the end of 2007,and my study still counted. And she asked me not to give up. I said I would think about it. And I did. I distanced my self from the books and did a pile of other things and then it came to me,maybe I am going about this all wrong. Maybe instead of trying to learn from the two books I should learn from the one and just use the second for the exercises,maybe the two types of explaining the same thing is what is confusing me? Well no miracle has happened,but I am starting to grasp the basics of it by doing it this way. I might just get there yet

PS..I haven`t forgotten your challenge CJ I am working on it

Feeling...A tad better

Listening to...Power in the blood-Alabama 3

And yet another song title. Its not really that pleasent actually,the sun is struggling to keep ahead of the nasty black clouds. Its like something out of Never Ending Story,with the black clouds looming up like the Nothing.OK,so I watched them,all of them,I admit it.The children made me
And of course that reminds me ( Association yet again) of films like 'The Last Unicorn' I loved that film,there was another that was a great favourite but the title eludes me this morning.Probably because I have been awake and studying since 4-30 am. This was not by choice,I didn`t set the alarm to get up at that time. But,get up I did. And I have to go to work in just over an hour and a half Thats because I didn`t win the lottery last night,again. Have you ever thought what you would do if you did win the Lottery or came into an inheritence of roughley 1-2 million? Answers on a postcard to the usual address! I suppose everyone that isn`t lucky enough to have money must have thought of it at one time or another. I know I have.
When I was young ( here she goes again rambling, you can skip this bit ) *ahem* as I was saying/writing, when I was but a wee bairn,well not so wee but young. We should have been what is classed as middle class. The amount of money that came in that house in a week in one form or another should have had us in a better house in a better neighbourhood,dressed nice etc etc. It wasn`t till I got older that I realised just how much money came in that house,and went out again. My mam had a problem you see it was called bingo,every afternoon and every night when the Male parent was away. Then he would come home think she had stayed in all week and pay for her to go? Everything we had was on HP and of the four shops she ticked at three. And that was because the fourth was a haberdashery and they didn`t have what she wanted ( Though they had great elastic for elastic twist) It did teach me a good lesson though. And now I rarely buy what I cant afford and never when the children were young. Pay as you go. Having to tell the man at the door that mam was out and hadn`t left him any money,having to go pay the bill at the shop and then tick straight away the things she needed because when the bill was paid there wasn`t anything left. And the shopkeeper shaking his head and tutting in that way that makes you feel very,very small. It stopped when the Male parent retired from the army,but by then I was ready to leave school. Thats enough waffling.
The sun is shining now,for a while anyway maybe it will stop out and then I wont get wet on my way to work,one can but hope. We are almost half way through the year already,doesn`t time fly?

Hmmm dont I wish

Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?

Very Sweetly by AJ.
Apparently the letter B is my letter and I have to come up with 10 meanings beginning with that letter that describe me or are connected with me in some way.
How do I get into these things????

OK,deep breath here we go.

1) I have a sister whose name begins with B,we call her Ben for short ( Her husband hates it when we call her that,so of course we do it all the time )

2) Brainy....Well I thought I was but this latest assignment is proving pretty hard,I am hopeless with statistics!!

3) Busy...Something I always seem to be,work,study and of course >>>>

4) Blogging...One of my favourite pastimes when taking breaks ( much needed ) from other things,I have made some great friends through this medium too.

5) Beautiful...Not me,but most definitely my friends,they are all beautiful to me.

6)Bolshi...Hehehehe oh yes when I need to be,as some may have already witnessed.

7) Boring...I sincerly hope not though some may think so?

8) Bijou...Apparently this means small and elegant which I am small and elegance well when I am out to dinner I do try to behave

9)Bizarre...I am often called Crazy but as that begins with a C Bizarre is the nearest thing to it

10) Bemused...Something I often am by the attitudes and prejudices I come across,but also by compliments,something I have never been used to growing up so often dont know how to handle them.

Thats it I managed ten wow!!
If you want tagging just shout I will be glad to oblige

I have just recieved flowers for the very first time ever. I have only ever recieved flowers from my kids ( Once) or from relations when in hospital. I have never up to today had flowers sent me, Thankyou my Friend not many people can bring tears to my eyes you just didxxxx

This one is just for the girls ( And Paul and maybe some of the boys ) Boys you will have to go mow the lawn or read your do-it-yourself books or something
Girls,relax and enjoy

Sometimes we have times in our lives when things are not going smoothly,when everything seems weighed against us,and the mundane tasks of getting up and going to work,or doing the housework,uni work etc just seem too much and we wish for better or different or just something to break the routine and spark our lives a little. The constant rain is greying our lives that little bit and making everything seem bleak and dull. But,after the rain comes the rainbow and with the rainbow comes the sun. The rain has fed the land and new growth is all around,the smell is fresh and sweet and everything has that shiny look as the few raindrops remaining on tips of leaves and window panes glisten in the sunlight.
When I was a child I used to imagine that the rain caught in the cups of flowers was for the fairies and elfs to bathe in and drink from,certain flowers for their bathing and certain ones for drinking. I used to imagine that the morning dew was sent for them so that they could gather it to drink ( used to who are you kidding ) Of course at that time I also imagined I was the long lost daughter of some fantastic person,his stature varied depending on how bad things had been,sometimes he would be a rich and powerful person who would discover me and take me away. Other times he would be an adventurer and that was why he had been unable to find me,bacause he had been lost in some foreign land fighting his way out of danger etc. Of course these were just the imaginings and dreams of a child that needed escape from the real world and what it held. In reality there was no hero papa to rescue me,no knight in shining armour to whisk me away from the evil Baron. Life was just what it was. And while I have remembered many things since starting to write it all down,some of which I didn`t want to remember. There are many more things still swimming in the grey haze just out of reach. Not all my childhood was doom and gloom,I had fun with my siblings when the Male parent was at camp and Mother was out and there were times when she had her friends round and she wanted us out of the way. I loved those times because it meant freedom for me. Freedom to roam my beloved woods or build treehouses and rope swings., Play knife throwing,I was quite good at that.And dream,sitting at the top of the hill just beneath the woods watching the clouds and the world go by dreaming of the person I would be,of the life I would have. Of course I never got the Prince and the castle,never became a famous actor/musician/writer as all children dream of becoming at some stage in thier lives. But I did get some beautiful children and I have made some wonderful friends. So while my riches may not be of the kind that you can spend I often feel like I am the richest person in the world.

Feeling....mellow
Listening to...soothing music

Just because I like to think I treat all my friends equally,and so you dont feel left out here is one just for the men

This one is just for the ladies,though the gentlemen may have a peep if they feel so inclined
Ladies, this has been composed using profile pics some of which are representations that you choose to use but you will each recognise your own.
For you the Ladies.
Skin Deep.

Just a little thingymejig rustled up for fun and to cheer up anyone not feeling erm cheered up.
Presenting in glorious technicolour
Bloggers of Blog.co
Click and enjoy

This is for my lovely friend Juzzzy. He will understand it`s meaningxx

Its been a rough day.Quite apart from the horrible weather that drenched me through on the way to work and back again. The clients have been a mixture,had some really nasty ones like the guy that asks me what are we doing that he couldn`t, I was soooo tempted to say paying your debts off mate,if you could have done you wouldn`t have come to us in the first place!! But I didn`t I patiently explained the procedure to him,and what his creditors do and what we do etc etc. He left still grumbling but I could have done that,and I still resisted the temptation to say so why dont you. I had a client who had waited ages to get through ( We are extremely busy on a Monday morning) and then got cut off a few minutes into the call,this had happened a few times last week,so I promptly rang him back,and he was trying to ring us back,he has one of these mobiles where you can have more than one call so he put me on hold while he stopped the other call back to us and he cut me off! So again I rang him back, and when he picked up I just said whatever you do dont put me on hold or we will never get this sorted. Which made him laugh and set the tone of the rest of the conversation. I straightened his account out got all his queries dealt with and he hung up one very happy client. And though most of the calls are simple enough to deal with I always seem to get the ones that want to tell me thier life story. There was one today that got to me though. A lady who has one of those creditors that wont make an agreement no matter what,we do get them occasionly. This one decided to take her to court. We have a legal team for just such cases as this and they are dealing with it,so she had just rung to let us know that she and her husband would be going to court and that they were selling thier house and then we had a little chat as I was asking about the equity etc. And it all came pouring out. This lady was in debt but compared to some of the people we have her debt was small,to her of course it is a mountain. I have heard a lot of stories of why people are in debt some very moving ones,and this one today was one of those,in tears over the phone apologising because she was taking up my time,which I informed her it didn`t matter as that is what I was there for, she unravelled her problems. At one point my Manager came across to see why I was spending so long with the one client,but when she had listened for a few minutes she wrote on my pad carry on and went away. It seems this couple had been blessed with three very beautiful children,a girl and two boys,unfortunately both of the boys had Autism. They both go to special schools one to a special college and the other to a special school.One of the reasons they didn`t want to sell thier house is because of the massive disruption it would cause the children,and two because if they cannot find another home in that area the two boys would be unable to attend thier special schools. But they are desperate to pay off their debt and not have it hanging over them,and to gain them some peace of mind. They are quite determined to do this. At the end of the phone call she said thankyou to me,what did I do I thought? And she apologised again for taking up my time when I had other clients to see to,I told her again that part of my job was to put the clients minds at rest and help them in anyway I could she said I had. The call lasted fifty minutes. And maybe I could have taken another five or ten calls in that time but to really help someone even just by listening was worth my call list being down. I think in the end all she wanted was to get it out,just needed someone to listen,she didn`t need advice,she just needed to talk.
And it doesn`t really matter how bad my day has been because I am very lucky really compared to a lot of people out there.

As I have to go to work I thought I would leave you with a thought that fits a monday.

I worked today,as I do every Sunday.I was on callbacks as well as incoming and One of the people I had the pleasure of speaking to today was an American gentleman.He was really nice especially as I was able to sort out his queries and put his mind at rest. He did impart to me some information that I didn`t know. Apparently it is not allowed to do business of a legal nature on a sunday,that is the drawing up of legal documents and contracts etc. So if any contract is signed on a sunday it is invalid in law. Which could be veerrrryy interesting
I also woke some poor guy who had apparently been working nights It wasn`t on his notes that he worked nights and it was 2pm,but he just laughed about it and told me all about his work at the Football Ground,though I am not allowed to tell you which one. Only one awkward client and that was dealt with easily enough.
A few days ago I was chatting with my lovely friend Paddy,he had just had a storm and we got talking about rain etc and I asked him if there was a rainbow,I am a big kid when it comes to Rainbows I love them,so Magical. He said he couldn`t see one but less than ten minutes later he sent me these

Which are beautiful,thankyou Paddy,you are a starxx

Apparently I have to list ten Fictional Characters I wouldn`t say no to. ( Thats a delicate way of putting it Magic )

1) Gill Grissom..CSI las Vegas ( Those eyes Phew)

2) Pat Garret ...Young Guns 2 ( Same eyes same Phew)

3) Governor Jack Hathaway..Contender
4) Captain Jack Sparrow...Pirates of the Carribean

5) Quinn..Reign of Fire
6) Cole...charmed
7) John McClane..Die Hard
8) Det Mac Taylor..CSI new York
9) Logan Cale..Dark Angel

10) Capt Steve Hiller..Independance day.

OK these are my Tags

Old Niq
Kizlode
EggBod
Paul Boyd
Juzzzy ( you didnt think you were getting away with it did you? )

I like this one. Sometimes a few words can say all.

Choose your friends by thier character and your socks by thier colour,choosing your socks by thier character makes no sense and choosing your friends by thier colour is unthinkable

I mailed the person/s responsible for the composing of the list and this was the reply I got.

Missing Questions

Dear Lyndlj,

Thank you for your enquiry regarding the missing questions in the extraordinarily long meme you were challenged to take part in by Paddy.

We are in talks with Paddy to find those elusive five questions and will let you know when he (or we) finds them.

Until then, please be assured that our search for these questions will be relentless and will we endeavour to find them. We are confident they are important and relevant questions and that there is a good reason as to their disappearance.

Assuring you of our utmost attention at all times.

Veronica. M. Stephenson

For and on behalf of Paddy Inc.

Apparently there is an Internet wide search for the elusive questions,meanwhile, I am sure that the people in blogland can come up with some substitutes Have already had some suggestions,some of which were erm not printable

It appears that there are five questions missing from the list of 100 questions. I have protested my innocence in this matter * Ahem* I just did them as they were sent to me by the Wonderful Paddy. So the question is.
What are they?
Where are they?
The missing question numbers are
9,26,63,70,87.
So while we are hunting the world of blogs to find the missing questions ( or untill Paddy sends me them) What do you think the missing questions are?
Where do you think the missing questions are?
And most importantly,why do you think they were missed out?

I shall now don hunting gear,find my binoculars,and my large net ( well questions can be tricky things you know ) and I shall set forth on my quest to track down the elusive questions. If I am not back by teatime,send in the search dogs, its a big place Blog land,who knows whats out there

Another night of restlesness,no wanderings though as it has been pouring it down all night and though sleep didn`t want to share its time with me,laying and resting means that the day wont be too long. I dont understand why the restlesness is still with me. April is my bad month,for reasons I may one day be strong enough to divulge,May is normally the period when I put it all away and lock the cupboard door,and get on with everyday life.
I have had a few PM`s lately,from people that have read my blog but obviously been too shy to comment. They have said various things like' How did you survive a childhood like that and stay strong? ' and various other things along the same lines. The thing is,that to me,my childhood was normal. It was only when I began to see how other people lived that I began to see that it wasn`t. I was ten before I realised that it wasn`t the duty of the eldest girl to look after all the others and clean etc. And that came about because I was invited to tea,yes Juzzzy tea,not dinner. I had to ask permission and Mother had said yes with the warning that I hadn`t to talk about the family to anyone. I never did anyway,I had already been labeled strange because I didn`t do the things the other girls did that I was at school with. I went to tea,I was so excited I had never been invited to anyones house before, and Yvonnes mam picked us up from school and we all walked home chatting and laughing. This was my first step into the strange world of another. The walk to her house was amazing,the way her mam laughed and joked with her and her brothers and sister,put her arms round the ones nearest to her as they walked,constantly addressed me,and said things like "come on slowcoach,if we hurry up you can play in the garden before tea" I didn`t ask who I would play with if Yvonne would be busy with her household jobs. When we got to the house and said our hi`s to Yvonnes dad,she shooed us out to the back garden to play while she and her husband made tea. This amazing world had me laughing all evening,even as we ate they laughed and joked and talked about thier day. All vying for attention but in a nice way. Her dad said to me " my you`re a quiet one,cat got your tongue?" To which I replied unthinkingly " Our cat only eats fish" which made him roar with laughter. And his wife too. Before I left he said to me quietly in the hall " I guess things aren`t the same at your house as they are here,every family is different,but you keep that wit about you and you will be fine,you have a lovely smile lass dont let them take it away" and he rubbed the top of my head. There was no attempt to give me a hug as he had noticed when he had tried it on my arrival how I had stiffened and pulled back. My brother picked me up and we walked back home. The journey back was silent but it didn`t matter as I was trying to digest my evening and remember all the things that had happened. I never went again,not because I wasn`t invited but because the answer was always no. Seems Yvonnes Dad was a little too perceptive. In the end Yvonne moved on to a friend that she could spend time with out of school and though we remained friends,it wasn`t the same and as we moved up to a higher school we lost touch as we went to different ones.
I already knew that the ways of my family were different to the ways of the others that I mixed with and as my school years went on and I listened to the talk of others and what they did,the things they did as a family,and a couple more visits to peoples houses,cos they couldn`t always say no,I came to learn that all families are different. There were those that lived in families similar to mine and those that lived in families similar to Yvonnes,and those that lived in families totally different to either. I have faced and survived far worse things in my Adult life than I faced as a child,but perhaps it was my childhood that helped me to get through them. I truly believe in the old sayings cliched as they might be that 'every cloud has a silver lining' It just might be too well wrapped up to see right now. 'When one door closes another one opens' It just may be locked and you need to find the key, and ' There is a light at the end of the tunnel' There is always a light at the end of the tunnel it is just hidden by the bend that you haven`t got round yet.

For Paddy Cos he didn`t think I would.
100 To go.

1. NAME ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT ?
One on the top of my foot well faded now but can be seen in the summer. Got it playing splits with my Brother. Erm with a javelin.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Well on the wall that is sort of in front of me there is a shelf which is to the right of where I am sat it has five baby Dragons on it.
The wall to my right there is a lovely picture of a Dragon that Jon-the-Man did for me.the wall behind me,nothing The wall to my left three enormous windows that need two pair of very long curtains on them.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?
Erm a mobile phone???

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Anything and everything!.

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
A Canadian sunset sent by a friend.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Sleep

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
My Children

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
16-05

10.WHAT ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?
Me waking up.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
LOL,erm do you read my blog??

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
My Ex

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
Opium or Poison

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Doesn`t bother me.

15. DO YOU LIKE PAINKILLERS?
No, But sometimes I have to take them.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Not a great pizza person so don’t really have one.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Steak

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Some guy that got uppity because I didn`t sign on to messanger to his schedule?? He is no longer on my list of course.

20. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Does Gobbeldy Gook count??

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
My Eldest Child

22. DO U LIKE SOMEONE?
I like everyone

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Erm, no.

24. FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Don’t have a favourite,depends on what I like as to what I buy

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
Jaguar XK8

27. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
Not a lot

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I am of the opinion that Love doesn`t ask permission or take note of circumstances,if its going to happen it will happen.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Tell them,both with words and deeds

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
"A number from one to a hundred”

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Irrelevant

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
My son

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Ignorance

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF ENGLAND?
Yes.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Poor self esteem.

36. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
I only recive gifts for occasions so it would have to be the Unicorn my son bought me for Mothers day.

37. FIRST JOB?
Working in the meat department of a Supermarket,the reason I don’t eat shop bought beefburgers.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No * Sigh* I was a good girl,well mostly.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Talking to Paddy online.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I don’t know,nose maybe?

41. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE?
Honestly? Once.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Usually my eyes or my hands.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
I drink very little so it wouldn`t bother me.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Flowers

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
Hahahahaha,no more than the ones I have thanks.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No,though they spelt my name the posh way.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Yes

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVOURITE?
They are all good

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
Over ten years ago,if you mean properly cry.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE?
Carrots raw

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Loads

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
I don’t consider my music embarrasing as it is what I like to listen to

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
It would depend on who I was,I don’t make friends easily.

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
No

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
I rarely get angry as I consider Anger to be a useless emotion that cures nothing.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I will tell you when I find my first.

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
No

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I only had one that I could call my own and that was my doll who was named Julie

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
About twenty

62. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Oh yes!!

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
No

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/Girl
Sense of humour,honesty and personality.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Blue, LJ, Lyndzzz ( Thankyou Juzzzy)

67. WHAT IS THE MOST PAIN YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED?
Loss

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes

69. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SPILLED?
Water

71.WHAT'S THE LAST FURRY THING YOU TOUCHED?
My Cuddly Dog ( Stuffed Toy)

72.WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE COLOURS?
Blue and erm Red

73. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS/SINGERS?
I dont have one particular favourite depends what mood I am in.

74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
Two

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Yes, but they won't

76. WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Woke Up this Morning…Alabama 3

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Steak,New Potatoes,steamed veg.

78.LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My sons Fiance

79.WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Eyes

80.FAVOURITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
Turn a different corner..George Michael

81. FAVOURITE THING TO HATE:
Don’t do hate

82. FAVOURITE DRINK:
Booze: Baileys with ice
Non-Booze: Coffee

83.FAVOURITE ZODIAC SIGN:
I don’t have a favourite really,I do like Sagitareans

84.WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT?
Football.

85.WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOUR?
Dark sort of Auburnish

86.EYE COLOUR?
Green

88.SIBLINGS?
Yes

89.FAVOURITE MONTH?
Don’t have one.

90.DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
No I like my food cooked

91.LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
CSI Las Vegas

92.FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Ermm same as Month

93.ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Yes

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Both

95.KISSES OR HUGS?
Both

96.RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Neither

97.WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
No one

98.WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Everyone

99. BIGGEST FEAR?
Failure

100. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Not that I know of.

And so my restless feet took me wandering. Last night and this morning. Walking by the river last night and listening to the birds singing. I sat on the bank and watched the water as it flowed on its way singing its little tune,the river is quite low at the moment and seemed to be flowing so slowly as it passed over the rocks and round the little islands in the middle. I love that sound it makes when it is moving slower,the lullaby it sings as it wanders along on its seemingly endless journey,the setting sun reflecting silver light off the top of the tiny waves as they pass over rocks embedded beneath the surface. Swallows have inhabited the little island in the middle and are nesting there,the strident sounds of fledglings calling for thier supper before the long night embraces them and wraps them in its velvet cloak. And as the sun makes its way down out of the skies a chorus of sounds as all the different birds sing a goodnight song while making their way to their homes and so to rest away the hours untill dawn. I sat upon the bank and watched the shadows gather amongst the trees and the rushes at the waters edge,watched the silvery light of the flowing water darken,untill the only sound was the sound of the water as it continued its ever ceasless journey. It is hard to believe,sat there with the only sound that of the water and the few stray birds that were still making their way home,that behind me,seperated only by a footpath and a wall is a housing estate,that in front of me,across the little river and over the field,are houses and factories and one of the busiest roads in town. For here in this place I am sat there is only the river the birds and me. An oasis in the middle of the suburban desert. It was dark and late when I made my way back,the roads were quiet and it seemed there was noone around,so I carried the peace that I had found there back home with me.
It didn`t however enable me to sleep,and at four this morning I was once again wandering,to the woods this time. Through the darkened fields to sit on the bench at the edge of the trees. A large owl decided to sit upon the branch in the tree nearest to the bench,curious as to the human that wandered in its nighttime world perhaps. It sat on its branch and I sat on the bench,it put its head upon one side and gazed at me with that superior and very haughty look that owls have. It decided I was no threat and set about cleaning its feathers on its wings,stopping every so often to gaze in its unblinking cool way. It decided to start up a conversation,not loud strident noises,not hoots but low vibrant tones,when I answered I thought it would fly,I spoke softly so as not to scare it,and it just gave me tunes back. I know not what it said,it knew not what I said. But I imagined it was asking me what I was doing there when humans are supposed to be in their Human abodes and leaving the night time to creatures such as him. I could not explain to it what I myself didn`t understand,just that I am restless.
I felt and heard the coming of the Dawn long before the light from the sun grazed the skies,firstly my new found friend said its goodnights and flew away to its home.Then the other inhabitants of the woods began thier morning rituals,first just the odd little song here and there. I could almost see the leaves uncurling to greet the light that was coming,but I could certainly hear them,the rustle as the woods came alive in the half light before the Sun slowly peeped over the horizon,the lightening of the sky and the tinging of the few clouds dancing on the dawn breeze heralded at last the coming of the dawn,and the chorus began in full swing. I watched untill the sun had lit the sky and the world below me had begun its days cycle. I made my way home passing those that were making thier way to work,passing houses where the smell of breakfast wafted through windows slightly open as the day had started warm and bright.
Home and back to the books,day off today time to get all the little jobs done that I cant get done through the week when at work. And maybe if it stays nice I will go for another wander,later.

Tuesday evening and it is quite nice outside even though it has threatened rain all day it only gave us a couple of showers of that fine stuff that wets you without you feeling it. It is my day off tomorrow,with working sundays I get wednesdays and saturdays off,breaks the week up I guess. But it is only untill the new rota is put into place the I will only work every other sunday,which means I will get two full weekends off in the month. I managed to finish the pesky essay this morning before work and that is off to the tutor to be marked etc.
I was looking forward to this evening,when I saw the lovely weather I thought I might just go for a walk,untill I found that my family had landed,my middle daughter who I hardly see had spent the day at her brothers and they decided to come here and wait for me to get home from work. I shouldn`t really complain they had bought and made tea for me and I got to spend a little time with her and my son before he whisked her off as he and his fiance had to get the destuctor home for bed. Maybe I will go watch the sunrise tomorrow instead.
I am feeling a little restless tonight.

It is a beautiful morning,the sun has struggled through the clouds and is making attempts to brighten up the day. There is that lovely fresh smell of the earth after a good downpour of rain and the birds are singing thier lovely 'I have survived the night song' I managed to get out for a little while yesterday,went shopping and bought some clothes that I need for work. Unfortunately the food shopping didn`t get done,I walked into the supermarket,but managed only to put the lottery on. It was heaving,OK,I know it was the cup final,but it wasn`t an invasion by aliens,there was little need to stock up with enough food for the entire FA cup squad from both teams officials as well!! I think that they will have run out of booze too by the time three o`clock came What did make me laugh,it was pouring with rain,had been all day with no sign of it letting up at all and there were all these people with BBQ fuel and BBQ food,now that is faith I didn`t manage a walk in th woods or by the river,I have this darn essay to do which is also why I didn`t blog. It is halfway there and will hopefully be finished tonight with another one to do in two weeks. But its ok,they are only little ones of eighteen hundred words each.
I have to say well done Liverpool and commiserations to the Hammers,they played a good game and I have to admit it was a very enjoyable final to watch. Though that and Law and Order criminal intent were the only things that I managed to watch with anything near to full attention. Though I had NCIS on and got the gist of what was going on I didn`t manage to actually watch it. As you all sit there and nod your heads and say " I haven`t a clue what you are talking about" So I didn`t manage to make a blog entry on either this or Mythandmagic,though there will be a new chapter before the end of today. I have been writing that in between the essay when I have been taking breaks. And now it is time to get ready for work,though it is only a short(ish) day and pretty relaxed. I will be back ( As Arnie says) Minus the ousi of course

I have been playing about on the web,something to do to while away the time till I can put the brats to bed and get on with my studying,looks like an all nighter for me tonight. Anyway I came across this web site,which I thought might give some of you a laugh.this is the link to the site http://www.chickenhead.com/stuff/peephole To make it a bit of fun for all I entered the names of my blog friends,hence the title this is the kind of thing it told me.
Juzzzy just told a room full of people about your paid membership at HornydiscoNurses.com!! Oh Juzzzy how could you? you promised not to tell

and
Nixie drinks Tabasco straight from the bottle

And
Eggbod is aroused by bawdy tales of adventure rendered by chubby English rapscallions

And
AJ loves you like a drunk bum with a bladder infection loves his ' Personal Relief' jar

And
Paddy is secretly in love with a grotesquely-endowed jiffy lube mechanic named Rod

So go on put in a blog friends name and see what they are up to or what thier secret desires are

It has been a strange kind of day,not bad,had some nasty clients but the majority were good ones. I cant believe some of the things that institutions like Banks do,a law unto themselves it would seem. And I am talking of long established household name high street banks. They are worse in some instances than the old fashioned money lenders,at least with them you knew if you didn`t pay they would just send someone round to break your legs!!
It has been an absolotuly beautiful day,I spent my lunch hour sat in the sun reading my text books,even though the others were trying to distract me,the things that are discussed in lunch hour would make your hair curl,actually they would probably just make you laugh as they did me. Got some good news when I got home,seems I have finally won my long standing battle with my ex-employers over the money that they owe me and they have informed me today that they have arranged for the remainder of it to be payed to me. And the tax man tells me that I may have been paying too much tax in my former employment too,so I have had to fill out the forms and we will see how that goes.
I walked home amid cherry blossom blowing from the trees and by the time I got in I looked as though I had been to a wedding,I was covered in the stuff!! I sat for a little while on the wall of the flower displays so kindly supplied for us by the council,I have previously mentioned that the town is exceptionally green,and we have these little gardens everywhere,this year they have mixed Pansies in with the myriad of plants that they like to fill them with. The Pansies attracted me in particular because they remind me of my Grandad,he loved them and his garden was always full of different coloured ones. I remember him tending them in the garden,this huge man with hands like shovels and yet he never so much as damaged a petal on any flower so gentle he was. And he loved Roses,and the scent of roses used to fill the air on those summer nights when we would sit out in the garden. So these are for my friends to enjoy and for Grandad too.

I went to work,far too beautiful a day for working but, got to earn the pennies. I figured if I stayed at work for lunch and just took something with me I could get nearly an hour of study in,which I did which was good,gives me an extra hour a day on that.
At five past five when I finally got my last caller off the phone,the manager called me over and said could she have a word. OK,so when the manager wants to have a word and you have just had a day off sick,even though you made up for it by working your actual day off it sounds a bit ominous,add to that the fact that this is a tempory contract for the first 12 weeks (when they then decide if they want to keep me on) which means that at anytime they can say dont come in tomorrow,and I was thinking all sorts of stuff. So I follows her to her little cubby hole office and she says sit down. She folds her hands,examines her nails,clears her throat and says " We have been watching you these past few days and today Linda ( The overall manager and trainer of that dept ) has sat within earshot of you for most of the afternoon while she has been working." a nice little pause and cough here,OK,I am thinking just tell me you dont want me in tomorrow and get it over with she continues. " Apparently the reports she has had back from the other depts you did the rounds of while training are all very good "
OK I already know this because Linda told me,get on with it wheres the but??
" And after having witnessed how you dealt with the dreaded Mrs ** (double barreled name here) without putting her on the call back list and without her calling back,again,and how you dealt with the very upset client and the ISA`s,I want to know if you will do more hours? "
What!! Thats it all she wanted was me to work more hours,which I agreed to of course,needs must. And I must admit I liked the praise So I am now fuller full time,if that makes any sense,and I also know that they are as far as she is concerned going to offer me a full time permanent contract. What with my friends helping me with my research and the glorious weather it has been quite a nice day

Due to circumstances beyond my control ( Namely throwing up since 2am)I find myself at home today instead of tomorrow,rang work and they said dont come in,silly sods like I can stray more than five feet from the bathroom for more than ten minutes!! So we agreed that I would work my day off instead,providing of course that I am able.It just means that I do the things today that I was going to do tomorrow except for any outside excursions that is. Hopefully it is just something I have eaten that hasn`t agreed,thats what I get for deciding I didn`t want to cook and having a supermarket salad.
I remember when I was young,about 14/15 I think when the Red Flu was doing its rounds,it was quite bad and old folk and babies were dying from this virulent strain of Flu. I had been complaining for about four or five days that I didn`t feel so good,not complaining whining at parents,no point in that,but just saying things like,my head felt bad,I felt shaky and wierd is how I remember putting it. I just got the " you`ll be fine get on with.." Whatever it was I was supposed to be doing at the time. Of course I wasn`t alright as was proved when my brother asked me was I alright because I was a funny colour,I remember saying I feel strange,and that was the last thing I remembered. It was three days before I opened my eyes again. It was the one and only time I remember my mother looking anywhere near concerned about me and the only time I remember ever getting fussed over. The doctor had been coming every day,apparently I couldn`t be moved to the hospital because of the fever,and my older brother P had spent hours sat at my side bathing my head in an attempt to bring down the temp and break the fever,he and my other older brother T between them had nursed me those three days. It seems that my mothers main concern had been that she wouldn`t be able to go to her little job in the cafe where she spent most of her time chatting and drinking coffee. The doctor had continued to visit daily untill the seventh day when he said I was going to be fine,though it would take some weeks to get me propely back on my feet,he said I was a fighter and that had been what had brought me through. He also wanted to know why I hadn`t told anyone that I felt ill before I collapsed as if I had seen the doctor earlier then I wouldn`t have gotten so ill??? I didn`t enlighten him,what was the point? I saw him once a week then for the nest three weeks. I was however back up and doing my ' Duties` two days following his last visit,a lot slower than before but doing them all the same,once the magic words you will be fine were spoken it meant that I was better and had no excuse to lie in bed.Saying I was a bit dizzy or out of breath meant I was playing on it,and was met with the doctor says you`re fine you are just lazy.
This is probably why when my children were ill I over compensated in thier care,not allowing them to be up and about untill I knew that they were up to it,and always allowing them convalesence time.
On a brighter note the sun is shining and it looks glorious outside. The family dont know I am at home so I should be able to get loads done,my stomach seems to have settled,and hopefully will remain so.

May 8, 2006

1) How long have you been blogging on here?
I joined at the beginning of december

2) How long did it take you to feel part of the community?
Just a few posts really,everyone was so nice.

3) Who were your earliest friends on?
My earliest friends were Skip and Ridgeback course ridgy has left now,KiKi and Soundman and Nonny.And of course Magical .I remember them in particular because they invited me as I hadn`t a clue how to invite.I have a few that I talk to away from blogland,they are great people and I count them as real life friends as well as blog friends.

4) If you left Blog, would you miss anyone from here?
Most definitely. Though there would be some I wouldn`t but I dont bother with them now anyway.

OK, you can have as a friend on Blog...
5) One historical figure...
Michael Faucault..Jut for the fun

6) One currently famous figure...
William Petersen ( I wish )

7) One fictional character, page or screen...
Sherlock Holmes

8) Do you get blog withdrawal?
I dont know I haven`t tried finding out.Yet!

9) Do you blog at work?
No * sigh*

10) Do your "real life" friends know about blog, would you recommend it to them?
Yes they do and yes I have,I have at least two of them on here and no I am not saying who they are

I set off to work in what my Granpa used to call a blue Funk?? I never have worked that one out except it means that you are feeling down and uncommunicative. I had got about four minutes up the road when I realised that despite the drizzly rain the birds were singing, I pass a car park in which there are many trees and for some reason our town is very green so there are trees everywhere. I stopped to listen,and then walked into the carpark and watched them flitting about from branch to branch,singing thier little hearts out. And as I watched them and listened to them my blue mood seemed to dissipate into thin air. After all if these tiny creatures could greet each morning with a song just because they survived the night,and could keep singing that song all day despite not knowing if they would survive that one or be here for the next one,then what reason is there for me to be so down?? I arrived at work with a lighter mood,and the rest of the day has been fine,making clients laugh over the phone when my system was running slow or when it decided to throw me off ( Which happened at least three times this aft alone ) That helped me because lightening someone else`s day is always a good thing,I aim to make at least one person a day smile,I think I managed that today.
On the way home I decided to go shopping as I fancy something I dont have to cook for tea. Opposite the supermarket is the local market and outside this is a line of trees just filled to bursting with cherry blossom,by now the sun is shining although it is windy,and as I walked beneath the trees I could smell that wonderful cherry blossom scent and by the time I crossed the road I was covered in them as the wind blew them off the tree in a cascade of pink and white. The supermarket was almost empty and I managed to do some shopping and get to the checkout without even breaking a sweat. And then I get home to find a load of hugs waiting for me,all duly answered and thankyou to you all,that alone would have lifted my spirits had they still been down

Sometimes I get those days when I feel like there is no point or purpose to anything. This is one of those days. It comes from nowhere,it is just there and it fills every part of me.Maybe I will feel better when I get home from work,maybe I wont. It is raining,though the sun is struggling to shine through and I normally love the rain,but today it is just going to get me wet on my way to work. Maybe I shouldn`t blog today think I need some time out.

We did it!!!! We kicked cheating chelskis butt,what a way to finish the season,ten man Newcastle beat the champions. Despite having Carr sent off we still managed to stop them from scoring. Though Birmingham keeping us to a draw last week has scuppered our chances of a EUAFA place at least we manged to finish in a decent place despite a disastrous start to the season.
I even enjoyed my day at work,the only black spot on my day so far is the destruction that the Destructor wrought on my home after I had set off to work.Apparently he managed to smash my mirror,destroy the golden rabbit my daughter bought me for easter and draw all over himself after emptying my desk tidy all over the room.I have told them that this is not good enough and no amount of promises to replace what has been broken/destroyed is going to change the fact that he shouldn`t have been able to do it. I cannot be expected to totally clear my desk areas whenever I am not there and they are,and if this is going to be what happens every sunday because I have to work then they are going to have to find someone else to have him.I know it sounds a bit harsh but this is my home and I expect it to be kept how I do even when I am not here.
But apart from that it has been a good day.

Sunday Morning and I am preparing to go to work. I dont mind working on sundays,at least I get saturday off,which means I dont miss the football.Cool if it wasn`t the end of the season Our last game today,and I am hoping that the boys kick cheating chelskis butts!! well I know it is unlikely but I shall be backing them to do just that.I dont support Liverpool as many of my blog friends do but I cheered louder than any Liverpool supporter when they kicked Cheating Chelski out of the FA cup
The day has started a little overcast,with the sun struggling to shine through the clouds,at least I wont be sat in work listening to suicide threats and tales of woe and wishing I was out in the sunshine. Not that everyone who calls is like that we do have the funny ones and mostly it is someone that just wants an answer to a specific financial question. Its like being on some kind of game show sometimes,you never know what you are going to get when you push that button!!
I am looking forward to Wed when I dont have the Destructor and I can take a morning walk,I prefer to work than be idle,but I miss my walks.
Ah well at least I have something to look forward to

We start the morning on a sad note,anyone who has been following the pair of Canadian Bald Eagles that were nesting will probably already know this,. The Eagles have lost their eggs. It was noticed that one of the eggs had a small hole in it and we all thought it meant it was hatching when in actual fact the egg was collapsing,and sadly in the early hours of yesterday morning the second egg also collapsed.It had been anticipated that this may happen as the eggs were due to hatch some days ago,but it appears that either the eggs were not fertilised or that the young did not develop. The Eagles have now left the nest. Infotec have a new one about ready to go for anyone that wants to follow,it should be up and running at some point today. I did have the link for a pair that have already hatched but there appears to be something wrong with the link,when I have it up and running I will post it for you.
On a brighter note it is Saturday and the sun is shining and has been for the past hour,looks like another beautiful day here in the dales.
I shall take the Destructor shopping with me this morning as I have no intention of being stuck in all day,it is far too beautiful. And hopefully a nice walk later when I take a break from studying. I am working tomorrow so I shall make the most of today,enjoying the sunshine

Well another day has dawned and the sun is shining,what more could one ask for? Apart from winning the lottery of course.
I allowed myself to get angry yesterday which I dont normally do,I was accused of some pretty vile things,one of which was to invite someone to be friends in order to woo people away from them,as this person invited me and not the other way round I really should just have laughed it off.And not allowed myself to become angry as I did.The person who instigated all this has refused to come out and publicly face me so as far as I am concerned it is finished.
And on to better things.
It is friday,the start of another weekend,and as the powers that be in the met office have announced that it is going to be warm and sunny I am hoping to get out and about. Of course that will depend on study time etc,I am also looking for new accomadation so it seems that it is going to be a busy weekend considering I am working on Sunday. Ah well thats how I like it,keep busy and less time to dwell on things.
Paddy sends his love to all,by the way,he does come and read you all when he has time in between his busy life as an entrepreuner,foster carer, loving partner and friend to all and sundry
He is a great and wonderful friend as you all know.
Anyway off to work and another day of toil.

See I dont get all this backbiting tittle tattling,all this you said this and you have done that. If you have a problem with me,ask me,if you think I have done something wrong tell me waht you think I have done and I will tell you if I have or not. If you have so called evidence that I have done this thing then produce it,show me the evidence.
Lifes_lessons ( Phillip) now you really surprise me,I have emails from you saying how much I have helped you,nice sweet emails,and yes I can produce them should I need to. So I am asking you on open blog what is it about me that you dont like? What exactly am I supposed to have done to you? You see I have only ever left good comments on your blog for which I have had nice replies.
And anyone else that wants to have a go well here you are,here is your chance. Do you think that I am going to roll over and play dead? Do you think that I am going to wipe my blogs and slink off into the night?
The answer is No I will not, I have one account off which I run three blogs,so tell me who you think I am besides me. Because I am sure that I will find it amusing.
You have done something that not many people do and that is angered me. I am angry about this,I am not a saint,I am not even the nicest person you will ever meet,but I am not a liar.
And those that know me even a little know that this is a pile of twaddle.
Either show me evidence ( of which there is none) or take your petted little jealousies away and leave people alone.

Throughout my life there have been many times when I am invisible, noone sees or hears me,I`m not really there,a shadow walking through the land of the living,observing,listening,seeing. This is an ability I developed in childhood,a knack of hiding away,of being unobserved.Developed through necessity,through the fear of being seen,of having to join in,having to talk to people that were different to me,whose lives were different to mine. The fear that someone would see and would know what my life was. It also served to stop the bullies,if they couldn`t see me,if I didn`t stand out they would leave me alone.It didn`t always work but on the whole it served its purpose. I stumbled through my childhood and into early adulthood,being ' Mother' to the younger siblings,and other things that occured throughout that time made me older than my years,wiser than my school companions,different,aloof. I yearned to have the special friendships I saw others had,someone that I could talk to and confide in,a buffer between the realities of home and the outside realities of the world. Yet at the same time I was scared to have that,what if I said too much? What if I found a best friend and she discovered what my life was like and turned her back on me,that would be worse than never having one. So I stumbled on alone,the friendships I made shallow and superficial. I became a mother,without the blessing of friends to share this wonderful experience with,it made it no less wonderful. I stumbled on.
Then one day someone came to me and they said,thankyou,you helped me so much,without you I would not be here today. And I was shocked,taken aback,for I had not dived into raging waters and pulled them out,I had not braved dangers to rescue them from imminent demise. I had merely talked to them,with them. I had mostly let them talk and I had listened and I had talked a little,seeing what they were telling me and immediately knowing what they were trying to say.Yet this act had rendered me no longer invisible. I had discovered something that I could do,that I was good at,something that I had always done yet never thought about,but people had noticed,people actually sought me out to do this thing for them. And all I did was listen.
I came out into the light,after years of being invisible I was now seen. And I found that special friend,the one that is always there even if you dont see each other for weeks or months,when you speak its like yesterday. I am godmother to her children. And since,I have found even more special friends,wonderful,warm human beings that make me feel like I am special,that I am worth something.These are the people that make me shine.

Well it seems the Interview game has taken off quite well ( see earlier post or click on interview on tags at the side ) feel free to ask for questions anytime and we can keep it going.
Wednesday and half way through the working week,one of the women that started with me last week quit yesterday,she came and talked to me but she wasn`t happy.She couldn`t get to grips with the database and decided she never would,despite my trying to explain to her that actually doing it would make it easier for her. We are all different and though I find the data base really simple to navigate round,to others it can be overwhelming. Then there was two,well four two are on evenings. So out of fifteen potentials,it was narrowed to eight and of those eight there are four of us left. Two full time and two part time.Thats the way it goes I guess.
The sun is shining this morning and it looks glorious out there,it will be a nice walk to work and break times can be spent sat outside.
Andddd of course the most important thing is,today is payday!!!!!!! BT will be happy anyway
Right off to have a shower and get dressed for work. In the words of the immortal Mr Swharznegger I will be back, Minus the Ousi of course

01. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
02. I will respond by asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
03. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
04. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post (this one's optional, but it's nice to spread the fun, isn't it?!).
05. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

These are my 5 questions (complete with answers ) these were posed for me by our beloved friend Paddy.

1. Complete this sentence My most embarrasing moment was... Went to a dinner in a lovely red dress,which was fine till I got to the night club and sat on the high stools and realised that the slits up the sides of the dress showed a lot more than I realised. I was as red as my dress.

2. Why did the chicken cross the road?....Popular theory has it that it did so to get to the other side but in actuality it was conducting a survey on how many people would question its decision to cross the road.

3. Would rather lose a leg or an arm?....An arm,I can type one handed,but I need two legs to walk.

4. Your ideal city/town/village to live in is?...Las Vegas Nevada, U.S of A

5. You have set up your own political parties. What are you three main policies and why should people vote for you?..... To Abolish the TV licence and make the BBC get their revenue the same way as all the other TV companies.
Overhaul the Health service by taking out the corporate fat cats running it now.
Overhaul the Education system by doing the same.
Why should you vote for me,so your children can have a better future and you can have a better present.

And five more from Juzzzy
1. All of us have things that make us wake in the night with a start. But what makes you wake with a smile?....Knowing it is a new day and each new day brings light into our lives.

2. What has happened in the last twelve months that has genuinely left you feeling bewildered?....Things people have said about the way I look.

3. I want to know a secret - something you always want to tell the world but always feel too unsure to say......I am too scared to start a relationship even with someone I like.

4. You're given the chance of an extra organ in your body. What would it be, and why?.....A heart apparently I dont have one.

5. Fly like a bird for ten minutes, once, or breathe under water for the rest of your life?.....Fly like a bird for ten minutes.

I walked along streets of cobbles that shone in the glow of the street lamps,rows of houses dirty with the grime from years of factory dust.Dim and dingy in the half light before dawn. Soon the paths turned from cobbles to flag and the houses became fewer and farther apart,taller somehow because they were cleaner. As I walked the sky lightened and the sweet dawn sent down its dew to touch the earth in its wake up call. The sun rose slowly,softly, like a maiden peeking bashfully over the far hills,streaking the sky with her ribbons of pink,kissing the clouds and making them blush a soft pink hue.And now the air was redolent with the scent of blossom as the pathways led beneath trees laden with pink and white flowers. Winding now through fields of new spring grass,daffodils nodded their heads in the early morning breeze. Birds sang in the trees and rabbits played in the early morning light.
And then I woke up!! I had been asleep a mere two hours,but then that is better than nothing.
It is raining today,of course it is, it is Mayday and it always rains on May bank holiday Monday. It seems to be a tradition,much like christmas I suppose,the first bank holiday in may it must rain. Not that I could have taken my morning walk that I was so looking forward to anyway,as I ended up with the Destructor again as they called Caz in to work,they had asked me though and they need the money so I couldn`t not say yes.Still when he is gone home I shall be able to go for a wander rain or not.
Ah well breakfast with Cbeebies for him and back to the books for me better get the coffeepot going

Drinking...Gallons of coffee
Listening to.....Showaddywaddy....Dont Ask!!!!!!!