I appear to have deleted my last post,damn,and I thought I was having a good day Anyway for those that missed it dont worry you didn`t miss much. The destructors one and two have only been here an hour and already they have created havoc to the degree where I have had to seperate them for the night. Which means its a good job I wasn`t planning on going to bed anyway cos now I aint got one.Trying to study in between running up and downstairs to those two is quite hard so I have put it to one side in the hopes that they haven`t scared the sandman too much for him to come and sprinkle that stuff in their eyes that makes them sleep. Sprinkle be buggared shovel it in man,you will need to with those two.Anyways heigh ho and all that jazz. There is an incredibly nice gentleman that works for MBNA who is called JP,if he reads blogs then I have to say thanks to him for being so nice and not minding when I got his name the wrong way round today. Sometimes I do that when I am in the shop you know ask for something and the words come out the wrong way.I have a knack for saying things back to front. Its guys like JP that make my job that bit better and proves that there are some people that can be pleasent no matter when you call them ( and get their names wrong )Its gone awful quiet upstairs I have visions of dastardly deeds being done. I shall check I think.
Anyway they are not asleep but looking at me all angelic when I go in the room,I am not fooled for a minute guys I think it is time for a coffee, some OMD and a blog browse.

Having once again risen at an unearthly hour this morning and telling this brain of mine that the alarm is set for five thirty not three thirty,I have already done half a days work. So decided to take a break from the books and wow you with my eloquence. Except I cannot think of anything to say. Dont you just hate that? I have to save my silver tongued talk for the creditors I have to call today and get them to wipe debts off for clients, I shall attempt today to get one gentlemans six grand of debts wiped off for two,but as one of the debts is over twelve years old that one will be easy as it comes under the new Government legisaltion. I enjoy bantering with these people,I have earned myself a direct number for several of them which means I dont have to go through the call center which at times can be very frustrating because you cannot bargain with the people in the call center. They have a set script and they dont have the authority to wipe sums of money off. Did you know that every creditor has a set amount each month that it is allowed to wipe off your total balance? But if your debt is old you can bargain,make them an offer and nine times out of ten they will accept it. Anyway enough of that. It is once again a beautiful morning ,I know I watched the sun come up And tonight I will be doing an allnighter so expect me to be lurking in the early hours And for all those that were up at an unearthly hour this morning I have placed a little song on here.

What an absolutely beautiful,kick back and do nothing summers evening.I have been walking and enjoying this lovely evening. It is warm but not the clammy warmth that we so often experience,just nice,with a lovely breeze blowing to keep you cool. The woods are in full bloom,and wandering beneath the canopy of trees was peaceful and relaxing. I needed a total break.A bit of thinking time that didn`t focus on blogging or studying or work. I would have gone walking by the river but my favourite spot has been taken over by the Riverside Wine Club. And so I walked that bit farther and walked instead in the woods. I am glad I did,it was beautiful. I watched the squirrels play tag and the swallow dance.I saw lovers strolling hand in hand ( Was that a little touch of envy there? ) And couples walking dogs. Is it me or is summer time the time for couples or am I just feeling that way out where I am noticing it more? And then I walked slowly home and having done the thinking that I needed to do and having finally started the America Fund again after having to use it to pay for my studies and keep me going for the short time I was out of work. I am now partaking in a cup of freshly brewed coffee and listening to O.M.D. Brilliant

OK so here I am letting you all know that I am still about and alive ( sort of) and that despite the erm slightly condescending and completely sarcastic PM I recieved that I will post when I can, study and work permitting of course
I have had a lovely day today though the week so far has been hectic it has been rewarding. I didn`t finish work till an hour later than I should have done and thats because sometimes you have to go that extra mile to get things done or to ensure that others are treated with the respect that is due them considering that they pay for a service. Sometimes there are jobs you cannot leave to others and that means occasionally staying late. It doesn`t bother me I dont mind because I believe in the Butterfly effect you see. I know it works because I have had two really nice things happen today though nice is such an insipid word. The first thing,someone dedicated a poem to me which is really nice,and that was just through communication. The second thing well,a friend and I was chatting about music and I said that there was a particular song I hadn`t been able to get,anywhere. I had possessed this song once but when I had been burgalled the thief must have liked my musical tastes,well some of them anyway because he took the album the song was on. My friend said that they possessed the song and would put it on their comp and send me it. This lunchtime I arrived home to find a small parcel through the door. When I opened it I found that my friend had sent me the whole Album on CD. Now thats going the extra mile. I have worn a smile all day and I am playing it now.Isn`t it lovely how the thoughtfullness of others can make the sun shine on a cloudy day

One of my blog friends remarked to me how it was strange that you read something on a blog and you start thinking about events in your own life that are/were similar. I have done that a few times.Read something and it sets off the train of thought that leads to other things I often wonder what would have happened had we not come back to England when we did,would the chain of events have taken a different turn or would they have taken the same turn but elsewhere?It is the same throughout our lives though. If we hadn`t turned that corner but had crossed the road instead. If we hadn`t been in that place at that time. Its quite strange when you think about it,how if you hadn`t done a certain thing when you did it could have changed your whole life. Yet most of these little things that seem to guide our lives,most of the little decisions of turning corners,of not crossing a road in a certain place,they are made without any conscious effort on our part.we dont think about what would have happened had we taken that turn instead of this turn,or if we had gone that way instead of this.To constantly think of these things would of course drive us completely insane. It would leave us no time to do anything else. It is however slightly unnerving when we do think about it to realise that some of our most life changing decisions are made without any awareness on our parts. The Human mind constantly fascinates me.
I have two big assignments coming up and I am afraid that means less blogging for a little while.I will be around but not as much so if a few days go past without posts you will know why. The not sleeping has been catching up with me and the study has been suffering,so for a little while the study will be coming before anything else and sadly blogging will be coming last. Actually that statement is slightly wrong as study has always come first,what I mean is extra study will be taking precedent. I have an exam in August and I have that to prepare for too. I am sure that you will get along fine without my ramblings for a little while. I will pop on when I take my breaks to peruse my friends blogs and see how everyone is. And I will make an effort to post a couple of things through the week but I cant promise this. So you had better be posting you lot and give me something to take my mind off Qualitative research.

6 Hours

I have just spent the evening with my middle child and we had a lovely time. She called me about four and told me she was coming over,just like that out of the blue. When she arrived we had a coffee and then went out for a walk,we didn`t go anywhere special just wandered around and then ended up at the DVD rental shop where she bought some ex rentals and then we came back and we watched one which was actually very good. Then she did my hair for me,with my hair being so long it is nice to have it pampered sometimes she washed and conditioned it and sat and brushed it. It made a nice change,about half way through the film her brother arrived to see her for half an hour after he had finished work. They are mental when they get together them two but it was nice to hear them joking and laughing together. All that was missing was the eldest one. Strange how both girls get on with their brother individualy but cannot get on with each other for very long at all. So I have got absolutely nothing done tonight despite having everything planned out for the day. Never mind just means extra studying through the week.

1 day

Having spent most of the night trying to catch Mr Sandman and not succeeding,I have started this morning,actually I cant say I have started because I dont feel as though I have finished yesterday yet.You would think I would be used to this insomnia thing by now the amount of years that I have had it. Thing is that when I first started with it there was a lot of things I could do and believe it or not there was a lot on the TV to watch.My neighbours were used to me cleaning the house at unearthly hours and I would leave the vacuming untill about half six when they would all be getting up anyway. One neighbour even used my vacuming habits to get himself up for work, Soon as he heard the vacum go on he would know it was between half six and seven. Even on the rare nights I slept I was always up before six. I remember when they had a programme called Music Box on. It used to start about one and went on all night finishing at seven when the normal days broadcasting would start. I loved it,not only did it have all the latest releasees on it but also oldies. It had certain things on different nights too,different types of music for a couple of hours and then back to its normal programming.When that stopped suddenly for no reason they used to put films on and all sorts of interesting things. Now all you get is American sport and job finder! Scuse me,who is looking for a job at five in the morning? They even have a discussion on the end of Job finder now about five minutes of a Job Psychologist telling you how to conduct yourself at an interview,now that makes me laugh. He went through all that to get his degree to sit on Job finder at five in the morning and tell people how to act in an interview. Way to go,I wonder if he used the same techniques to get that job? Do you think I should ring him and tell him that they have a Major shortage of Psychologists in America? Actually he is probably quite happy get up at that hour and going and doing his five minute slot. I hope he doesn`t have a day job!
Anyway where was I? Other things I used to do when I couldn`t sleep,well if the children were away at their papa`s I would go walking,usually to the park and play on the swings. At three in the morning the walk to the park which was roughly a mile or so away,was quite refreshing. People thought I was nuts but I had two very large Border Collie dogs named Kim and Sam and believe me you did not mess with Sam. I got Sam by default. Sam was Kims brother,he had already been taken when I went to choose the pup and I ended up with Kim. She was beautiful though and I was quite happy with her. They were all longed haired and the coats were beautiful. As it happened Sam went to someone that lived down the road from me,the place I lived at the time was a long street which ended in a kind of cul-de-sac at the top which is where I lived. At the side of my house was a path that led into a large field at the back of my house. The dogs were about eight months old when I noticed Sam was wandering. He began to follow us to school and back. Worried that he would get injured on the main roads I would call him to me when we got near them and he would come and walk at the side of me all the way to school and back. Once back at the street he would be off and that would be it untill it was time to go and pick them up. Sometimes when Kim was out in the garden I would find Sam there with her,both laid flat out in the sunshine. I didn`t see Sam for a few days and thought that maybe she had started keeping him in and taking him out properly on his lead etc. About a week had gone past and he hadn`t been around,then one night the front door was open because the night was warm and I herad this whing and scratching. When I got to the door there was Sam looking really sorry for himself and with good reason. He had an open wound above his eye that was looking very nasty and both eyes were all gungy and quite a mess.He wouldn`t come in the house at first so I got warm water and antiseptic and bathed his wound and then got some eye wash that I had for Kim and did both his eyes.I sat on the step and he sat in front of me patient as anything .Soon as I had finished he was off. For three days he came every morning and every night to have his wound bathed and his eyes cleaned. On the fourth day his owner came. She asked me if I had been treating him so I replied that I had. And she thanked me and told me that he wouldn`t let her anywhere near him to do it. She said she was going away for a few days would I watch him for her. So I said that I would. Next day Sam came on his lead to the house to stay for a couple of days. During those two days he played with the children and with Kim and went for walks when we did and when she came back he went wwith his head hung low and tail between his legs. Course he was there next morning walking the kids to school with me and Kim. Only now he would stay for the day and just go home when the children went to bed. After about four weeks his owner once again came up to see me. She wanted to talk. So I made coffee and we sat down and she told me she had met this guy,and had been seeing him for some months. Sam didn`t like him and she had to put him out of the house when he was there. This guy had his own dog and apparently his dog was a pedigree,they had decided she was moving into his house but Sam was not welcome. She wanted to know if I would take Sam because if I didn`t he was going to the RSPCA. I asked if there was no way that he would relent and she had said no he had made it quite clear he didn`t want Sam anywhere near his perdigree dog. I said I would take him and that night Sam came to live with us. He was a brilliant dog feircely protective of the children and me and of Kim. After a couple of years of trying to manage with two large dogs and three children in a house that just wasn`t big enough Sam and Kim went to live on a farm. The farmer was a friend of a fiend of mine and he adored both dogs and they adored him. We introduced them to the farm slowly but I need never have worried because they loved it. Highly intelligent dogs they were in no time rounding up cows,without getting kicked too. They both lived very happy lives,being family pets as well as farm dogs,sadly they have both gone now. Kim was 17 years old when she went and Sam went not long after her. They did however have children,Kim was bred with a Collie from another farm and Sam was allowed to stud several Female Collies from several places. So who knows if you have border collies it could be one of Sam or Kims grandchildren
I have rambled enough now methinks,time to do some work.

For Subz
Train and Drops of Jupiter

I have just spent some quality time with some friends that happened to drop by. They have gone shopping right now but have threatened promised to return very soon. I have just had them in gales of laughter. We were listening to music and I heard a song and said "Oh I like that who is it" They then proceeded to ask me where had I been for the last ex amount of months and it was time to get my head out of the books. Apparently it was Shayne Ward. The blank look on my face sent them off into even more laughter and declarations of me being the only person in the UK that had never heard of this guy. So I dont watch TV and apparently that is a crime
However I was forgiven when I then introduced them to my latest favourites.
Train. A sample of which I have left for my friends on here to listen to

http://groovyloops.com/
http://groovyimage.com/

2 Days

Reading my friend Sociopath74`s blog about his trip to the dentist and him saying how much he dislikes going,and the comments he got made me wonder does anyone like the Dentist? Apart from TKK who likes the Dentists chair but that has nothing to do with hving his teeth seen to To read that particular piece you will have to visit his blog http://timekillingkid.blog.co.uk anyway back to the subject at hand. I am absolutely petrified of dentists. Not just your normal I dont like them scared before I go but when I get there I am fine if a bit shakey, kind of scared but to the point where I will not go.If I get an abcess,and I have had a couple,it is my doctor that treats it. Normally a doctor will say thats a dentists job and make you go there. Not mine he knows how scared I am and he treats it. I have always been scared right from the time when I went to the school dentists with my brother and I had a loose tooth,I didn`t have the appointment my brother did. Loose teeth come out on their own eventually so it didn`t bother me. But my big mouth brother told the dentist I had a loose tooth and as he came out the Dentist grabbed my arm sat me in the chair and yanked the tooth out. Now that hurt. The tooth had been fine the normal type of thing that kids go through you know.teeth come out more teeth fill the gap. It didn`t need pulling and this giant of a man pinched my tooth!! I was so shocked at what he had done I didn`t even ask him for it back. Not that it would have mattered cos the Tooth Fairy didn`t visit me anyway but it was the principle of the thing. So my visits to the dentist have always been minimal. Apart from the experience with the school butcher Dentist, I have a real thing about what goes in my mouth. I guess its just one of those things that people have,for instance I was fine watching the Puppet Master untill Leech lady did her thing * shudder*. Now it has never posed a problem because cleaning my teeth on a regular basis etc I never suffered from many problems untill one day I decided to have them cleaned. Everyone told me it was nothing having them cleaned, a friend of mine had them done on a regular basis,I was happy with my teeth but they were not quite as white as hers so I thought ok,I can do that. I made the appointment and I was fine,a little shaky,felt a bit sick,but he wasn`t going to do anything bad,just clean them. Apparently not! The minute I sat in the Chair I started Shaking,when he touched my mouth I jumped. He thought it was funny. I decided I was being stupid after all he couldn`t do any harm he was only cleaning them. I gripped the side of the chair and closed my eyes. He clamped my mouth open and proceeded to do his thing. Now I didn`t know that having your teeth cleaned was supposed to hurt. After a few minutes he gave up,and then he says that I appeared to have sensitive gums. By this time my mouth is full of blood and I am spitting for all I am worth to stop myself from chokingThe moron had cut my Gums,result,a mouth infection. I never went to him again. Years later and bad pregnancies and an illness that recurred a few times before they finally sent it packing and my teeth had begun to suffer. Dentist number two was pretty good. At this time they were still allowed to give you anesthetic to extract teeth. Armed with a letter from the Doctor and a refusal to even open my mouth for him to examine the teeth I got anesthetic for both the examination and the extraction. Cool dont remember a thing. When I went for my check-up however after about three weeks he told me they were no longer allowed to use it. He wasn`t a very nice man and I think the only reason that he had done it in the first place was because he got paid more that way. He told me not to be so soft I was a grown woman,I told him in no uncertain terms where to put his dental chair and his practice,though in a lady like way of course Dentist number three. this guy was a beauty. Major toothache,wisdom teeth had grown wrong and were now giving me heaps of problems.Getting me to a Dentist was not an easy job. Highly reccomended by a friend who also had a dental phobia I went to see the man that she called the Gentle Giant. It was obvious that I was petrified and that was just the examination. He said that because of my obvious fear he would give me an extra injection when he extracted the two teeth that way I would feel nothing at all. So the day dawned and I went scared to death but believing his promise to at least make things easier for me.True to his word he gave me not one but two extra injections and I sat in the chair not being able to feel my mouth at all.He messed about and I could feel a slight twinge,he messed about some more and the twinge became a little more painful. More messing about and I get the feeling that his extra injections may just have been a waste of time as I can now feel everything he is doing to my teeth. more messing about and by now those teeth should have been out. Now he decides he has to cut round the teeth because when he has gone in there he has found that though the teeth themselves have grown hollow and are in fact crumbling when he tries to get hold of them they are deep rooted. So by now the injections are wearing off,and I can feel him cutting my gums. I am now getting to the stage where I am going to be off the chair and gone. Suddenly he says to his assistant after throwing yet another piece of equipment in the bowl ( she is at this time gripping my arm I think in an attempt to keep me in the chair) are the pliars in the bottom drawer.? Excuse me did I hear that right? Dont panic I tells myself he means a piece of dental equipment.doesn`t he? Erm no,he meant pliars,household ones. He didn`t give me chance to fly out of the chair,kneeling on me pinning me down he proceeded to pull what remained of my teeth out with these pliars and then he slipped and I felt his hand hit my face,the hand with the pliars in. It hurt but all I could think was I had to get out.He helped me up out of the chair and he kept asking if I was alright. I couldn`t speak and I just pushed past him and ran outside. I sat on the wall outside to gather my breath and my senses which were in a whirl. The assistant came out and she told me they had ordered me a taxi to take me home did I want to wait inside? I couldn`t even answer her I just shook my head. The taxi driver was brilliant he knew I couldn`t talk and gave me a piece of paper to write my address on,all the way home he asked me if I wouldn`t be better going on to the hospital as I was fair bleeding and shouldn`t b bleeding that much. I just wanted to go home. My daughter was waiting outside when I got back thats how long it had taken,the appointment had been planned so I would be back home and feeling better by the time they got home from school. Once inside I started throwing up,one of the neighbours that I was friends with came round and took the children to her house for their evening meal. Three days later I was still ill,still bleeding and in a lot of pain. I went to see the doctor. He went ballistic good job he was the Doctor I had been seeing for years the language he came out with disgraceful. Apparently Mr Gentle Giant had cracked my cheekbone he had taken the wisdom tooth but also taken the tooth next to it which had been fine,probably according to my doctor because he had damaged it when he was attempting to take the wisdom tooth. The second tooth that he was supposed to take out was still there and the wound he had inflicted when cutting into the gum was open and infected. He wanted me to sue him,I refused,like I said then and still say now,it would have cost me money I didn`t have and in the end they would all stick together it was his word against mine and who knows what he would come out with. Still my Doctor was not going to let it rest he wrote to the Dental association and to the senior member of the practice where he worked.I recieved a personally delivered apology from the practice and a huge box of chocolates which the children enjoyed greatly. He recieved a ticking off and a suspension which only lasted a few weeks and probably gave him time to mow the lawn in the huge house he owned. I have never been to the Dentist since. I have been in touch with an orthodontist and he is going to do my teeth for me ( When I raise the money) with the assurance that I will have anesthetic that puts me to sleep,for medical reasons you can apparently have this.
And apart from that rather chilling memory,it is a beautiful day the sun is shining and I think ( finds some wood to touch hastily) the headache I have had for four days has finally gone. Ah tis a grand weekend

I feel good,no I dont feel good I feel great:D Have you ever had that feeling of not just a job well done but a job excellently done and you know that you have excelled yourself? I have had one of those days where you cant see yourself ever getting anything done because the world and his wife want you to sort out their problems first. So I spent all morning doing that and getting things sorted for clients that to say the least were unhappy,emotional,at the end of their tether. And the job sat on my desk waiting to be done well that had to wait. It was half one before I finally managed to get started on this job. Let me explain what I do. Clients come to us in mountains of debt and we endeavour to help them to sort it out. We do not give out loans to clear the debts,what we do is take the creditors and offer them repayments that the client can afford to make,which believe me is sometimes very little. Because we are a company a lot of creditors will accept this and it eases things off for the clients and gives them breathing space to enable them to get back on their feet.My job comes at the end of all this. I negotiate with Creditors on what is known as full and final settlements. The clients have a bit of money saved up or they have sold their houses and they want to get rid of the debt but dont have the full amount. This is where I come in. Mostly Creditors make the rules,because after all these people do owe them this money so it is quite up to them what they will take in settlement. Sometimes it will be 10% sometimes 20% but that is each debt,each creditor has to be negotiated with seperatly for each account.And some clients can have twenty creditors or more. Today I had to negotiate on five accounts totalling well over £18,000,the client had £10,000,and he wanted to settle his debts. One creditor had an outstanding balance of £14,459 alone. So it took me all afternoon to trace a couple of the debts that had moved and noone had changed it on the system. But trace them I did. I ended the day wiping the clients debts off for £9,800. And justifiably feeling very pleased with myself. Course when I rang the client he was suited as well
So now I am going to treat myself to a chinese meal and a glass of wine

http://www.groovyloops.com/
http://www.groovyimage.com/

3 days

I used to listen to all these people say thank goodness its friday and I used to say it makes no difference to me because I always worked weekends. However today I can say Hurraaahhh its friday,knowing I dont have to work tomorrow. It is so nice actually having the weekend to look forward to.Not that I will be doing anything other than studying,childminding and studying,blogging and studying oh and watching the football. I used to have to cram everything into one day.When I worked in the Nursing home I worked six days and that included every weekend using my day off through the week to attend college to get my NVQ`s in nursing care. When I left there and went into retail I worked most Saturdays,I was supposed to only work two in four but invariably ended up working the other two,especially when I became manager as no one else could work the machinery.When I first started this job I worked Sundays. And now I have the whole weekend off. Two whole days together. Last weekend was my first weekend off and I completely enjoyed it though I wasted most of it spending all day Saturday trying to decide what to wear to go out in and most of Sunday recovering from Saturday. This weekend I have it all planned out.It will of course be a wonder should it actually go to plan. There is bound to be something that prevents it. One good thing will be not having to worry about what the Junior cyclone is up to while I am not there,though he is doing better since we put the new plan into place. The only real downside is having to shop on a saturday I cant get out early with having the Junior Cyclone so it is usually the afternoon before I go and by then everyone has recovered from Friday night and the wives have dragged the husbands away from the tv and into the town,and all the little teenyboppers and yobs have by then met all their friends and they are all in the town. Hmmmm,maybe I will go early and take the Cyclone with me
So what are my lovely blogging friends doing with their weekend??

Still 4 days

I love blogging I love visiting my friends blogs all erm however many it is. People say with so many surely there must be loads that are the same so dont you get bored? Well the answer to that is no,because they are not the same. Each one is unique in their own way. Each one an individual in whom I have found something I like. and not just their blogs either but in their comments to others and to me.I love also stumbling across new blogs whether by seeing a comment that they have made or by looking through the latest posts,or by them visiting mine,its always interesting to find something new and unique in the way of writing. When I write I dont think about what people think. Not because I dont care what people think because everyone does in some way. But because I know that the people on that list over there and some that are not on the list but who visit anyway,are not judgemental.They read and it may touch them,or make them laugh or even at times I daresay bore them. And they will either comment or they wont. And yes we get the odd sarcastic comment and the odd nasty one but hey thats life,and they dont come from any on my friends list. Mostly the sarcasm from them is witty and probably well deserved. When I write I often dont think about what I am writing I just write it,put fingers to keys and out it comes all on its little ownsome. Sometimes it never gets posted. As I read it back I realise that there are some things that I am still not ready to reveal and some things I am still not strong enough to talk about. And its not because I dont think those friends wouldn`t be supportive because I know that they would,but I dont look for sympathy and I dislike pity. And sometimes it is hard to find the right words even for a word wizard like me. I ramble a lot,muse a lot,and wander off into realms that have nothing to do with the opening sentences of the post. People that read my blog will be used to this by now of course,I guess its a bit like a lucky bag ( Lord its years since I had one of them ) When you open it you never know what will be inside Or one of those lollies that change colour,one minute its yellow then red etc. A bit of a hotch Potch. But thats me,champion of the wandering rambling post,and up to now we have only scratched the surface

4 Days

I apologise to my friends for not updating last night about the house viewing but I got visitors that left me with a pounding headache which I am afraid I still have this morning.
The house,what can I say,it was clean! I had told myself all day not to get my hopes up,but you always do dont you? As we pulled up outside I felt that sinking feeling as the dissapointment started,I told myself to not be so hasty,never judge a book by its cover etc. It was clean which believe me some that I have looked at have not been! He told me it was open plan,hehehehe this guy should be an estate agent. The kitchen and living room were combined and to say it was compact would be an overexagaration. In fact you could have fit the whole thing inside the living room of my apartment. The kitchen consisted of a stainless steel work top which housed a sink with a cupboard underneath,the oven and a cooker with two hobs.That was it no worktops just that,there were two cupboards above and a stainless steel microwave built into one of the shelves at the side,that was the full extent of the kitchen and it sat in one corner of the living room. With the three of us in there My son, myself and the landlord the room was already crowded and there was no furniture in yet! There was a cellar with the facilities for my washer etc. Upstairs there was a bedroom which was not too small but not very big either,the bathroom wasn`t bad even had a shower.The second bedroom was fabulous,bigger than all the other rooms it was klight and airy it had one enormous window that ran the length of the room and had there been a view it would have been breathtaking.A second large window was set in the far corner. Now had I been intending on spending my life in my bedroom then it would have been fine. So it seems I am not moving yet and the search continues.
As for friends,well I tried to trim my list but each person I went on to I found a reason for them to stay instead of finding reasons for them to go. And ended up with additions so instead of decreasing it I have actually increased it. I am absolutely hopeless

5 Days

Tonight after work I am going to see my potential new abode.I shall be leaving work half an hour early so my son can go with me before he has to go to work. It is apparently open plan with a newly fitted kitchen,two bedrooms and a bath room.The area is not brilliant but not as bad as some,though it does take me farther away from my precious woods but only by about five minutes or so more. I am not going to build my hopes up because the last one I looked at I wouldn`t have put a dog in. Why is it so hard to find somewhere decent to live at a reasonable rent? I think it is time that Him upstairs * Ahem * gave me a break. Anyway we shall see.At least I have somewhere to live and there are many that dont.I count myself luckier than a lot of people really. I have a job and a roof over my head and I might not have the latest or the best technology in the world but at least I do have it.
I have had to refuse a couple of friends invites,sorry its not because I think you are not worth having as friends or anything but neither of you have commented at all,I haven`t spoken to either of you and there was no introduction with the invite,no hi I would like to get to know you or anything. And one of you because you are not on the UK blog it wont let me comment on yours,I have had this problem with a few of my blog friends that are not on the UK blog. I am thinking I may even have to trim my list. Maybe I should do a vote on it or something? I guess I am in change mode.

6 Days

Most people will know by now that my favourite Animal is the wolf,a noble creature that once was the best friend of man. Untill man in his normal way decided that the wolf was too much of a threat and decided to hunt him instead. In Alska they still use the Wolf signs to find food following wolf trails and prints because they know that the Wolf will lead them to hunting grounds. It is also illegal to hunt Wolves in certain places there. Mans drive to conquer the Wolf has led to certain species almost being wiped out.

Wolves are one of the most misunderstood of creatures.
Did you know?
That the Mexican wolf actually dissapeared in the seventies despite being listed as an endangered species? It was only due to the fact that some of these creatures had been captured that they were able to reintroduce them into the wild in the late eighties.

Did you know?
Wolf tracks are twice the size of a dogs.
The average weight for a North American wolf is 80lbs but the Alaskan wolf can weigh over a 100lbs
Males are usually 5-10lbs heavier than females.
A wolfs coat can vary from white to various shades of biege,brown,grey or black.
A wolfs coat is made up of two layers.A soft light coloured dense fur covered by long guard hairs,which keep the undercoat dry,the shading of the fur is more distinctive around the face.

Did you Know?
Wolves generally kill the weak, the old, and the young. If the wolf did not do this, the deer and the caribou and the moose and other large animals would damage the forest by over populating and eating the plants and trees.

Wolves build dens to have pups. Once the wolves abandon the den, which means leave it for good, it is often used by porcupines and other smaller animals for shelter.
The fur shed by the wolf is used by birds to build nests.
The raven is a type of bird that eats the remains after the wolves have stopped eating. The coyote, the fox, and many other animals also eat after the wolves are done.
Did you also know that in Native Indian folklore the Wolf is revered. the Wolf helped them to find food and protected their women and children. The Wolf was their friend and while they never tried to tame or bind the wolf there are many Indian folklore tales about the courage,strength and Magnifence of these much maligned creatures. To them the Wolf is a magnificent and Magical creature,brave and strong,Cunning and Loyal.

Once again the day has dawned bright and warm. Though the clouds are still in the sky,or is it just my sky they are in? I was thinking of the way that people touch our lives,how some only touch us for a fleeting moment yet in that moment leave us with something indefinable.Friendships come and go throughout our lives,some people are lucky enough to still be friends with the people that they went to school with,that they grew up with.For others the friendships that they knew then become memories to cherish. Everyone that touches our lives does so for a reason,to give us something,teach us a lesson,show us something that otherwise we may have missed as we stumble our way through the years. Sometimes they remain forever in the filing cabinets in our heads just brought out and dusted down when we do the sorting that sometimes we need to do to,a bit like taking out the photo album and poring over the pictures and going "Awww do you remember when?" Sometimes of course being Humans our memories are not perfect and we remember maybe only the good things or only the bad things,though of course there are times when there are only bad things to remember,those are the ones that we file away the deepest,right at the back of the filing room,in the deepest and darkest caverns. I once met a young lady,we never became friends in the proper sense of the word. I was living in the picturesque village of haworth then,everyone knows about Haworth the place famous for the Bronte sisters. Every day when I went to the little shop on Mill Hey she was there with her child and I had my child and we began talking as Mothers of small children do,especially in a place like that where you had to be resident for twenty years before even being thought of as a newbie! I like to think that maybe if those awful events of that day had not happened,that we would have become friends,as it happened we never even got to do the coffee together thing that we had decided we would do.She was having trouble with her Ex,and she was clearly frightened of the man. What a shame that people didn`t listen and most of all the police. I went to the shop that morning and she wasn`t there,I asked the guy in the shop had she been and he said no. With a child to see to I just presumed like many that she had other things to do and I would see her later. I never did.That morning her ex had decided that if he couldn`t have her noone could and he had stabbed her to death then taking the knife to himself,though he didn`t die.She had apparently told her relatives the night before that he had threatened her yet again,but they hadn`t listened.She was found later that day when someone couldn`t get her to answer the door but could clearly hear the baby crying. It is strange how she touched my life because I never really knew her,she introduced me though to the missed opportunities of life and sometimes I wonder what if we had done the coffee we kept saying we would do? More recently of course it is blogland that has introduced me to people that have touched my life without I suppose meaning to. People come and go and I sometimes wonder if they found what they were seeking,if they got out of their systems that which made them blog in the first place and so no longer needed what it gave them. Or maybe through blogging they discovered something that helped them in an indefinable way to move on from something in the real world. The internet is a wonderful medium,through it you meet people that you would never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise.And through it you can find a release,an escape,a means of being yourself without the mask.

CJ`s Blog Witch Project.
What made you start blogging?
I had read a blog on a different site for several months,the guy was amazing and the stuff he wrote was too.I thought why dont I do that and here I am.

How many posts do you write a day?
Some days none if I have a lot of study to do,or if I am writing for the story. Somedays just one big one and other days several depends on my mood and other stuff.

Do you think people read your blog? If so why?
People read that much I know. I dont know why,maybe they have time they need to kill,lol. I like to think that they find it interesting.

What musical style would you describe your blog?
A mixture of classical and easy listening.

Do you read other blogs often?
Yes loads,there are ones I visit every day,even if I dont comment on them and some I do once a week.

What attracts you to other blogs?
The content has to appeal,humour thats a big thing but a sense of the person in the writing,like a bit of their personality shining through.

What blog title would make you read a new persons blog?
Depends what mood I am in

What title would make you steer clear of another persons blog?
Ones that are mainly c&P I can read the news and do daily without going on blogs to do it.

Do you ever discover new Bloggers because they are frinds of bloggers you know already?
All the time, if my friends have a new friend or someone has commented on their blog and the comment strikes a chord.

As a percentage, how addicted are you to blogging?
When I was out of work about 80% now about maybe 60-70%

Over the past years through talking to people,friends and strangers alike,I have discovered that it is not what we want or desire in this world that so often lets us down,but what we expect from life that leaves us floundering and unsure. It seems we all expect to have a roof over our heads and enough money coming in to keep the wolves from the door. Of course we all know thats not the case,there are many homeless people,without jobs and yes for some it is their own doing. For others though it is circumstance that has brought them to this and somehow once there it is so hard to get back out. Even those that do have a roof over their heads often find it hard to make ends meet through one reason or another,poorly paid jobs,illness,many manner of things that make life that little bit harder. We expect to raise our children to Adulthood and send them out into the world as law abiding decent citizens. Again this doesn`t always happen. Some through accidents and circumstances beyond their control find their children taken before they ever reach that golden age,some after they have reached adulthood but have yet to make their mark on the world. Some children get into trouble with the law,some are theives,some are murderers.Some have parents that are these things and they strive to remove the stigma so they can lead relatively normal lives. Humans are strange creatures,they invent all kinds of magnificent things. Things to help make the world a better place,in their eyes. Yet often they neglect the one thing they should be looking to.The one thing that keeps them from destroying the world that they live in,the one thing that often keeps them sane and gives them what nothing else in this world can.Comfort,Love and a sense of belonging. The one thing we all need... Other Humans.

It is pouring it down here,a fact that had escaped my attention untill I went to get ready to go out in it.I love rain,especially summer rain,but alas I cannot go out wandering as I have far too much to do. Which I should be doing instead of sitting here and blogging but it appears that my get up and go has got up and gone. Not being used to wild nights out over the past couple of years what with the study etc last nights seems to have left me very lethargic today.Still it has been arranged that we will do this at least once a month so it looks like I might get used to it ( once again) My head is clearer now,just a slight headache this morning and a bit of tummy churning,but all better now that I have been out in the fresh air Thank goodness I didn`t have to invoice today I cant imagine what figures I would come up with? And before anyone asks I remember last night very clearly,I was merely a teensy bit tipsy. I remember bowing to the DJ very clearly and getting him back for touching my behind every time he came past by doing the same to him as he went back to the DJ box. The look on his face was a picture That will teach him to keep saying things to me over the mic Anyways I guess I should make some attempt at doing some work.I will probably be back,very soon

I went out tonight,erm though it is now morning,I think. Who knows who cares? I had a very good time thank you for asking. I knew you would so thought I would just say that.I remember telling Kev ( Magical Mystery tour) about one night when I went out,all dressed up to the nines,black pencil skirt and stillettos etc. My ex brother in law was only sixteen and going through that clever stage,you know the one " I know everything and you were never sixteen so you know nothing" though come to think of it I probably didn`t? Anyways My ex-husband and I had been to the ' Local' which was actually about a mile away from where we lived,and on leaving after closing ( Always took hours to drag him away ) The ex-brother-in-law was waiting outside on his ten speed racing bike. We started to walk up the street from the pub and he was going on about how good this bike was and how special it was,and how you had to know just how to ride one of these bikes. So I just laughed and said its a push bike not a super charged racing bike.To which I got the reply of "its a ten speed racing bike not just anyone can ride it" to which I replied " Anyone can ride a pushbike" and so he challenged me to ride the bike,there and then all the way home. My problem is I cant resist a challenge and so I did. Pencil skirt and stilletos not withstanding I rode the bike all the way home,and I did great,no problem. Except.... He had omitted to tell me that his glorious super ten speed racing bike had no brakes!! With the result that I had to use the fence and hedge as a stopping platform and because of the speed I was doing proceeded to fly straight over both and landed on the lawn.Where I lay laughing untill my ex told me I aught to go inside before the neighbours saw me.lol, All I can say is I am glad the neighbours were in bed and that I had clean underwear on
It always made me laugh when my ex would worry about what the neighbours would say,this was the guy who went out one Sunday morning for a few pints before lunch and came back at 4-30am the next morning,so drunk that it took him half an hour just to get out of the cab of the pick up,how I wished that the police would pick him up when I learned he had taken it with him. But it didn`t happen and I stood leaning against the doorway watching him trying to get out of the cab and then trying to negotiate the gate and navigate down the path. When he finally managed to get in the house and sat down I placed his Sunday lunch in front of him,it had been in the oven since 3-pm the Sunday afternoon and to be honest I wouldn`t have given it to the dog to eat. But I was just a tad annoyed. And I couldn`t believe it when he sat and ate it?? Then falling asleep,so I just left him there and went to bed.Prat!! Which is where I should go now as I am slightly fresh and it may just be a good idea to stop writing before I let out any deep and dark secrets