The most famous witching night of all, though not the main witching night, Halloween has become legend as the night when all witches and Warlocks come together. Supposedly the night when all magic is strong.When the spiritual world makes contact with the real world. Originally called 'All Hallows Eve' the day before All Saints Day, which is November 1st.

So Happy Halloween
Samhain
Calan Gaeaf ( That ones for Paddy )
Allantide
Hop-Tu-Naa
Oidhnehe Shamhna

Now I have to leave you for a spell

Don't quit when the tide is lowest
For it's just about to turn.
Don't quit your doubts and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest.
For it's just a while until dawn.
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest.
For your goal is almost nigh.
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

Author unknown

One of my problems is that I think too much, or so people tell me. Always try to find the logic in everything,but thats not completely true, because there are many things that defy logic.

These people that think this of me, well they dont know me. But then, not many do. Yes I look for logic, in certain things, situations, there is always a logical, reasonable explanation. But I have seen things that there are no logical explanations for, been through things that defy reason, so where does that leave me? Stranded? Marooned? Cast adrift? Not at all, it leaves me beleiving that there are things, feelings, happenings that there are no known logical, explanations for.

How would you describe Love for instance? Is it logical? Is there a reasonable explanation for those feelings that have you high,soaring, one minute and in the depths of hell the next? We say we can fight it, but can we? Really? We can live without it, yes, in some ways but when you think about it, everyone has love in their life. Friends, mother, father, brother, sister,Son,Daughter, it is all different forms of love is it not, so if we were being logical, then we would have to say that no, you cannot live without it, because it is always there in one form or another.

Perhaps one day the other kind will come along, but, untill it does, I will keep telling myself that I dont need it, dont miss it, and you know something, What I say is true

So Monday starts with a very early morning/late night, whichever you want to call it. The fact that I am here doing this before half five should be testament enough to what type of night I have actually had, a sleepless one.

Still I do not feel tired, and I am ready for the day ahead.

I shall leave you with a nice thought this morning, to combat the cold

Having forgotten to put back the clock last night and consequently being up at a more unearthly hour than I normally am, I decided it would be a good time to introduce Molly to the woods.

I needed the fresh air and a good walk anyway, so waiting until it got light we set off.

This is not as simple as it sounds, Molly has never been properly trained to the lead and I have spent the last week doing just that, she does not like roads, for the past few nights I have been walking her round the neighbourhood to get her used to them. She is doing better, and she is learning. sadly she appears to have been originally 'trained' by being shouted at, which means I have to raise my voice instead of being able to use different tones, though she is now getting used to the ' command' voice, it all takes time.

Getting her across three main roads was a bit of a trial going, but she did better than I expected. And when we got to the fields below the woods and I let her off the lead it was worth it. She just went totally nuts, she ran around in circles and up and down, so much space to play in, the woods themselves when we got there fascinated her,she had never been in woods before and there was so much for her to see.

The winds have been quite high over the past week and I knew that there would probably be damage to the older trees, so seeing quite a few branches scattered around was not a surprise, anyone who visits woods on a regular basis knows that even in mild weather trees shed branches for a number of reasons.

There were leaves covering the floor like a carpet of mingling colours, and the heather is in full bloom, providing another pretty carpet, soft and springy. I had noticed walking up towards the woods that the wardens were stripping out the weak saplings, these are the ones that they have planted that haven't, for whatever reason, taken properly. To leave them would cause damage to the other saplings, and so they remove them. They are attempting to bring the woods back to their former glory, and to bring them down as far as they were hundreds of years ago, they have denied all planning permissions anywhere near or around them and they are now under a preservation order.

Sadly it is one they are finding hard to enforce as I discovered further in to my walk. On entering the little valley, I discovered the damage, not wind or storm, but Human. Saplings torn up by their roots, just to obtain wood to burn on their fires, this is where it appears the alcoholics and Junkies are now hanging out, it is sheltered to a degree, and fires are unobserved from outside. Beer cans and empty botles, cider, whisky ( the cheap kind ) littered around. The saplings just left there to die when they have served their purpose, branches ripped from the older trees leaving gaping wounds where the bark has been stripped. Out of the valley and further up into the woods I came across two trees, taken down for whatever purpose still smouldering where those responsible had attempted to burn them. No marks on the trees, so it was not the wardens that had chopped them down, and those trees in that area had already been thinned out. Of course it is coming up to bonfire night, and there will be more damage like this before it is over

It put a bit of a damper on the walk for me, but I know the woods have survived worse than this, after all they are hundreds of years old and have survived many changes in that time. They will still be there when I am a speck in the cosmos.

And now back home, relax for a little while then house work and washing, and I have the urge to write today

Have a relaxing sunday whatever you are doing

You got to love it, the bank balance doesn't but, I earned it and I needed some light hearted ummm,therapy.

First thing this morning in to the town, originally just to buy a couple of actually needed things, but those shoes, they just called to me. So shoes bought, well you never know when they may be needed

Home, then off to catch the bus to the hairdressers, must admit that bit had me nervy but, I also have to admit I like it, I have had it thinned out and layered but the front has been layered shorter round my face a little to take away the heaviness of the length.

Back in to town, I had seen a dress I liked last week, I was humming about the price, I couldn't justify it, I had looked this morning and they had dropped the original price, I still wavered. Came back this afternoon ( You just know You are going to buy it dont you? ) So I did, becaue by the time I got back it had been dropped to a magnificent ten pounds:D

A few bits of Lingerie completed the day, and home to eat and chill out.

Hope everyone else had a good day

Ever had one of those days where time just seems to run away with you and before you know it bedtime has come around, and you are thinking " what the hell happened to the day? Yesterday was one of those days.

Molly and I are establishing a new routine,one we both have to get used to, though she seems to be adapting better than I am. Anyway, the new routine consists of roll out of bed and take Molly for morning ablutions, do all the stuff I have to and normally do, then take Molly for ablutions, since she is going to be in all day while I work this is a precautionary method.

It works fine untill, someone does not get out of bed because she has not gone to sleep untill after the alarm went off, she is extremely worn out, and does not want to get up and go to work on what should have been a day off anyway. Everything is then thrown into confusion, but Molly still has to have her morning run. So it is everything else that gets left. Hence no post yesterday morning.

The rest of the day just seemed to run away with me, work was extremely hectic, and then I had to come home take Molly out, and then have my hair washed ready for today.
Then my son arrived with girlfriend.

They had decided that I would be depressed because my planned trip had not gone ahead and that I needed company? But I have to say that as far as I am concerned it was an excuse so that he could spend the evening with the new Queen of the family, yep, Molly, she adores him and he her, he took her out and spent the entire night apart from when we had supper, playing with her and leaving us two women to watch,chat,etc. By the time they left both Molly and I were ready for bed.

And so to Saturday, despite the rain, it should be a good day. I am going to have my hair done, and then going shopping, or at least that is the plan, it remains to be seen if that actually happens!

Wow hit the wrong button and do a post with no words!!
Kind of sums up my day

I was unable to post this morning due to having to focus my attention on a little lady called Molly, who has come to stay with me.

Molly is a three year old Staff cross,no pics yet sorry, but soon I hope.

Anyway, Molly is scared of leaves that dance in the wind, flapping plastic, traffic, came with no toys ( But we soon sorted that out ) Doesnt appear to know how to play with them anyway, but is learning fast.

She is quite obediant and did no damage whatsoever when left during the time I was at work. We have just been to the beck for a half hour romp, there is one thing for sure she will keep me fit

Long very hectic day at work, and it seems that these past months are catching up with me, I am sooooo tired just lately. Still a whole weekend off no babysitting, no work, so maybe a bit of pampering is in order

As promised

Its pouring this morning, but never mind the sun will be up soon.
Have a good day

Sweet dreams

Let's start the day bright and breezy,I know the sun isn't up yet but it will be soon. I have to go get ready for work so I will leave you with a something to get you smiling this morning

We started the day with a smile, and now lets end it with one, just think of something/one really nice that makes you feel all cosy and warm, and you will go to sleep with a smile on your lips

Night and sweet dreams to all

Monday morning the start of the week, let us start in a positive mood and then maybe the week will not seem so long or so bad

As long as you remember that for every negative there is a positive, so every time something seems to go wrong or not really as it should, then there will be the reward of something that will go right and better than it should.

And the more positive you are the more positive the things that you do, untill negativity is banished into the nether regions. Good vibes will surround you.

So let us start the day with a smile or two

Having a whole day to fill, and little apart from cleaning to fill it with. I went a wandering. Usually when I go to the woods all I see is the beauty of the scenery, the life of the woods around me. Today it seemed to stir memories.

The dissapointments of yesterday which I wont be going in to, but suffice it to say that my trip this forth coming weekend will not be going ahead. And several other little incidents seem to have put me in a melancholy mood.

I sat upon the bench, the one that has replaced the one my brothers initials were carved into, and looked down upon the street that holds so many memories, apart from being the place that I lived in until I was eighteen, it was also the place where I almost gave in to darkness ten years ago, it is true what they say about going back. Of course that was a different house, but, it was only next door but one from the one in which I was erm 'raised'. Sometimes we go to great lengths to lay ghosts, with not always the results that one intends.

Anyway, the beauty of the woods won out, as I turned to look at something that had caught my eye, and there sat on a bush was a cheeky little Robin, chirruping away with its little head on one side as though contemplating me as I contemplated the scenery. He made me laugh with his little antics as he danced from branch to branch. And dispelled the sombre mood.

Off up the path I walked, the Robin flying off ahead, perhaps he thought he needed to show me the way? There is a certain smell about the woods at this time of the year as the rains have washed away the vegetation that had been rotting in the heat, a crisp, clean, smell, mingling with the smell of the wet leaves on the ground, the damp earth, and the fresh smell of new growth. For the winter flowers are now peeking through and soon the floor will be covered with them.

Into the valley where the Heather is still going strong, purple and creamy yellow and a strange blue colour. I love the smell of heather. It is all becoming a little sparser with the onset of Autumn, but still very colourful, and noisy as the animals all busy themselves preparing for the cold to come. Even the squirrels didn't want to play, busily rushing about from tree to tree.

So back again, and it wasn't until I got in that I realised how wet I actually was, the sun had been shining the whole time but of course the ground was wet, and the grass that I waded through, from last nights rains. I bet I looked a right sight walking home with my hair loose and flying about and wet jeans on

It is strange, I spend months working on a schedule so hectic that I hardly have time for breath. Constantly wishing I had time for rest or just time, to read a book, or play a game, and now I have it and I am lost?

Yesterday was the strangest day. I worked until lunchtime, had lunch with my daughter, went into town ( Though that didn't last long, I did warn her! ) came home, spent ten minutes on here, and then...... Well thats just it, I could settle to nothing.

The hours that I would study have now to be filled,I watched T.V, I tried to read a book, I tidied, I tried to play a game, I tidied some more. Like a cat in a cage I prowled endlessly, my mind skipping from one thing to another like a stone skimming the surface of the water, leaving ripples that are gone before they are properly grasped.

I am lost, wandering, like a ship that has slipped its mooring and can find no anchor to stem its drifting on the restless tide.

And when there is no filling of the mind with new information the old begins to resurface, memories, that have long lay at the bottom of the vast ocean, at the back of the dark caverns of time, stir and shift and move towards the light of recognition.

But all is not lost, yet, for is there not stories to write? And somewhere off in the distance, that book? Or maybe I will just take up Guitar lessons again

Good morning all, Have a happy sunday

Sometimes I find that watching the lives of others often can make you feel that you are not alone in your doubts and fears of who/what you are.

The knowledge that others have the same kind of hang ups, the same kinds of self doubt and the same lack of self confidence in some part of themselves, makes yours seem a little less 'unusual' though that is probably not the word that I am looking for.

It took a long time to find the real me, long years of suppression, tragedy and drudgery, buried the person beneath until I almost became a parody of the mask that I wore.

I had hesitantly begun to emerge a few times, like the butterfly from the chrysalis, only to be sent back into hiding through events/people that prevented confidence and promoted self doubt yet again. Strangely when people came to me and used me as confidante, shoulder to cry on, crutch, my confidance knew no bounds. Here was something I could do, something that I was actually good at, something people sought me out for.

When I split with my husband I seemed to find a confidence and a new purpose, people used to say that I exuded it as I walked through the night club/bar as though I owned it and walked down the street as though I owned the town, not in a bad way, they looked to me for their guidance. And I could not tell them that it was a front, a mask that I wore to hide what was inside, because at that time, inside, there was nothing.

Slowly I began to emerge from the deadness that was inside of me, but then I met D, and once again, me became not me.
Ten years later crushed and I thought, defeated, I saw a rose blooming in an impossible place, surrounded by crushing weeds and briars, nevertheless it had struggled through the darkness and held up its head to the sun, which shone down and gave it life, to the rains, which fell and nourished it. And it stood tall and proud in the middle of confusion.

I found the person I was and should have always been, and though it took a while she emerged too from the darkness. Not complete yet, still some roads to go, some demons to conquor, but to know that there are people out there, some of them famous and rich, who suffer the same demons, face the same self doubts, lets me know that it doesn't matter, what matters is the me within, the person that I am warts and all.

Its not enough that I am a bag of nerves and the bus is delayed, then they decide to change where we are sitting the exam, first we know is a note stuck on the front of the exam room door. But, not content with changing tthe room, oh no, they change the location to a different building!

Luckily no one was hurt and the boys thought it was an adventure.After all that I need a coffee.

Edited, to say thank you to all my friends that have wished me luck and kept me going these past nine months. Couldn't have done it without you xx

It is dark and it is cold, I sit looking at the books and thinking if I try again now thats all I will remember, those last bits that I looked at. At least it isn't raining.

And it is friday good people of blog land, the weekend starts and the working week is laid to rest yet again, well for some it is because I myself am working tomorrow, until lunchtime anyway. and AJ is probably working as it is football season.

I can think of not one think to say,why am I so nervous? Last exam for this year, I should be looking forward to a couple of months off!

Long day, late finish. Lovely leisurely walk home.

Beneath a dark blue velvet sky that twinkled with diamonds and wisps of cotton wool clouds. The air had that fresh feel that comes after a day of rain that has given way to a night of splendour. That smell of fresh earth, clean and fragrant.

And quiet as it was the inbetween time, rush hour from workers over and rush hour for revellers not yet begun, and somewhere far off an owl called, warning that he was on the prowl? Or simply saying look I am awake?

There is no peace quite like that you find at night, after the hustle and bustle of the day, when even the houses snuggle down to rest, creaking and groaning as they settle.

And now back to the books as last exam is tomorrow, last minute catching up, not that I will sleep.
The night is too beautiful and it calls to me to go play

Lyndzzz

This goes out to the/those idiot/s who like to go round tagging people with vile and humourless tags and sending nasty emails, how about you stop hiding and come out in the open?

My tags are friends only, and if you PM me I get to know who you are anyway, so why dont you be brave and say what you have to say here, where it is open to anyone, without hiding behind a visitor tag??

The comments are open, the floor is yours, if you have what it takes that is!!

What idiot volunteered to work late tuesdays and thursdays? Well yes it was me, but that was because I was supposed to start later, only that didn't happen did it? Still I got loads done with those extra two hours

The heavens decided to open on the way home, but you know there is something fascinating about the way the wet pavements glisten in the dark. And all the houses with their lights on, looking cosy and warm.

And now I am cosy and warm, cup of coffee, and nice dry clothes.

Things to do before I die.

1) Pass my driving test
2) Learn to swim
3) Go to America
4) Visit the Nile
5) Visit the Pyramids
6) Take a helicopter ride
7) Look in a mirror without turning away.
8) Have strawberries and Champagne for breakfast
9) Learn to speak another language
10) Walk on a moonlit beach

Mondays are strange days, sometimes they are really good and sometimes really bad, but always they seem to be the busiest day of the week.

Sometimes it is worth stopping and looking around you and remembering not what you are but who you are, and what you are part of.

I dont mean the workforce you are with or the particular pieces of your immediate family that may be around you, but something much bigger, much brighter. Awe inspiringly huge. The universe, the Cosmos whatever you want to call it.

Far from making me feel small, it makes me feel special that I am part of this huge, powerful dynamo. That I  was given the power of speech and thought,that a small humble speck of dust such as I has a place in this vast cosmic clock. I just wish I knew what the hell it was!!

It always saddens me when I sign on and find a friend gone.

So people how did your Monday go?

Far from spending my day revising and taking the odd break on here etc, as normal, I have been out.

Whats got into everyone?
There must have been an early Piskie that has wandered around this land of blog and kissed everyone with the early bug
I stayed off the computer because it is Sunday and I thought no one would be around, all having that well earned Sunday lie in ,
"Whats that then?" *
" Well its what normal people do on a sunday when they have worked all week "
" So it is not normal to get up at five on a sunday then ?"
" Course it is, erm, lots of people do it,"
" Like who?"
" Like erm,"
" Thats what I thought , just my luck to get stuck with a weirdo Human "
" If you dont behave you will go back where you came from, where ever that was "

Anyway it is a beautiful morning , I am sure that you are all out and about doing Sunday things, and if you are, would you like to tell me what they are?
Maybe I could do them too.

Right what was I going to do?

*Conversation with an invisible friend*

I have spent a pleasent couple of hours watching tv, and revising. Needed a break, so here I am again.

Anyway,I believe Juzzzy has already asked what you are all up to, and the answer was?