Just Me!! The Butterfly effect

Of late my posts have had a somewhat down air about them, I have been battling with inner demons, and though the fight is not yet won, I think I may be getting there. I am not going to go into what or why.

Anyhoo, I am feeling better than I have in weeks, the dizziness has abated somewhat, though I find long stretches in front of the computer dont help so have been keeping it short and hopefully from now on sweet. Mostly it is when I get up from a chair or the bed, but I am learning to take things slower, and its killing me

It has been another grey day here, though not without its finer moments, right now the rain has stopped and from my window up here in my lofty perch I can see blue sky in amongst the clouds.

I have learnt to kill two birds with one stone and while I am waiting for things to download I am studying from the books, it also means I am not looking at the screen all the time and that I can adopt a more comfortable position. Behave Nick!!

And now is time for tea, or something

The sun struggled through the grey clouds and turned them pink while doing so, the tops of the roofs are glistening as she valiently try's to shine and cheer everyone up. The sky is a strange mixture of greys and white and blue all layered like a mess of cotton wool.

Do you remember when you made clouds from cotton wool? Sticking them to paper, I used to get in trouble because I would layer my clouds, the others made fluffy little clouds dotted here and there and I would layer mine above the hills and out thinning as they went to show blue sky. I got in to trouble because when asked why I had done it I had said that is what clouds are really like, not fluffy little balls! Some people just dont like originality

I think that was one of the problems with my work, it was too deep and dark for the people that read it, which is probably why they said it was rubbish, not because it was but because they didn't get it, they didnt see what was held in the words. Besides I was a female fit only for cleaning cooking and obeying men, soon put them right on that score

I wasn't a rebel, not by a long way, not when I was at home, and not for quite a while after. When you are faced with your own mortality twice in twelve months it makes you stop and think about what you really want out of life, what you want in your life and what you dont. Within the next eighteen months I was divorced and building a new life for the only ones I cared enough about to put what I wanted on hold for a while.

I still want those things, and I will get them one day, this is what I am working towards, this is what matters now to me. Though the children still take priority when it is needed.

And now the sun is out despite the rain that is falling and I am going for a wander.

Catch you later, have a good day.