Good morning blogland, tis friday, lalalalala, the weekend beckons, two whole days of freedom.

I had the strangest dream in the few hours I slept

Got to go, am chasing white rabbits, cant get that dream out of my head

Catch you all leter

The sunrise hid behind a mass of grey clouds and a gradual lighting of the sky was all that could be seen, acroos the sky the moon rode high still and lit up that side of the heavens.

It is almost the weekend, hurraaahh, after today I am going to need a rest, I am apparently in charge of the call centre for the morning

And the white rabbits have taken charge thats all I need

Right, here I go, have a great day.

It has been a strange day, starting work late, having lunch at three, finishing late. When I first got home I was still in full on work mode, now I am shattered and my bed is calling me.

I hope everyone had a good day, and a nice evening, see you tomorrow

Night, sweet dreams

Itrange getting up later than normal, admittedly only an hour later. I am not used to being able to be sat here at this time still in my nightclothes knowing I have another three and a half hours before I have to be at work. Reminds me of when I worked shifts.

Last night I sat here, studying and stuff and the moon was shing through my window, the light was so bright I almost didnt need my light on, she was beautiful soaring high above the clouds and lighting up the whole sky, she even dimmed the stars in her glory.

This morning I have had two little birds sat on my window sill having a marital, boy did she give him what for

Right I can get in some studying before work so have a great day and catch you later

It has been a fairly hectic day, I knew we had one member of staff down as he is on holiday, an important member as he and I do all the calls between us. Then another member was sent home ill, which meant that for most of the day there was um, me, even though there were five other people capable of taking calls, it was left to me.

Anywaym tomorrow I dont start while eleven and finish at seven as there are clients I cannot call as they are at work, it will make a nice change even though I will finish late.

Hope everyone else had a great day, and will have a great evening

I could not see the sun this morning, the sky is masked in grey, but I could see the beautiful pink shades she lent to brighten the dull grey clouds, streaking the sky and bringing a touch of colour to the drabness of the morning.

Back to work and thanfully it is only a short week, I really dont feel like going but, needs must.

Just a quck one this morning as I am dripping everywhere and really need to get dried and dressed.

Have a really good day, whatever you are doing, catch you later

Up and raring to go this morning, had all my washing done and drying by half eight

This is when I miss having a garden, it is a beautiful day and I love the smell of clothes dried outside. I have to dry everything in the dryer as I have nowhere to hang anything.

But,my landlord has promised me a house with a garden soon if the house with my son doesn't emerge, so hopefully soon Miss Molly and I will have a garden to sit in

And meanwhile I have a mass of study to do, so will catch you all later on a break, have a great bank holiday whatever you are doing

I decided I needed a bit of a change of image, so tonight I dyed my hair, black, its very, um, black, my natural colour is a chestnut brown, near to auburn, and even through the black you can still see some of that chestnutty red in certain lights.

I am not sure about it, but its too late to change my mind now

Maybe it will bring me some good luck who knows, at least it hasn't gone pink

Right off to take miss molly for a late night amble, enjoy your night

I could have gone out last night, I turned it down because I had promised to babysit for my son and his wife as he had an all nighter on at the club and she was helping out. I waited, they normally bring him about half eight as my son normally starts about nine. I waited thinking maybe they were starting later because of it being an all nighter, I fell asleep waiting, no message to say that she was not going, they had all day to let me know, it is so darn annoying! But then I am just Mother and I dont have a life!

I dont like sleeping on the sofa it makes me have weird dreams

Anyway it is a beautiful day and I am going to go and have a wander, catch you all later, have a great day

Its strange what you can recall when you think you have forgotten so much, blocked it out really not forgotten it. Some of it came back while on Holiday, feeling the sand between my toes and the sea round my legs, though the sand I remember was softer, finer, more golden, the sea was warmer and somehow gentler. Wonder if thats the real difference between the sea and the ocean?

I know exactly when things changed, though I couln't tell you the date, I was after all only nearly five, I know it was summer, the weather was hot, and we were moving in to the dark and forbidding mid terrace where I would spend the next thirteen years of misery and pain.

The shock moving from Singapors to Blackpool had been one thing, the shock of moving to a mill town in the north had been quite another. I had left the only friend I had ever known, in Blackpool we lived in a boarding house, we were only there for six months, and I never had the chance to make friends again with anyone my own age. Not proper friends like sleeping at each others houses and doing everything together.

I survived, and I learnt a lot, mainly from the adult friends that I made along the way.

Life is not and never has been a bowl of cherries or a barrel of roses, but it has been interesting, entertaining, sometimes mysterious and mystical, I have bad times, rock bottom times, but I have had good times too.

And those are the times I like to remember.

I am looking out of my study window at the fields and trees, it makes where I live sound lovely, but they are in the distance over the tops of the houses.

Though it is a lovely sight, trees with houses nestled at the bottom and fields, all so green apart from one long field, and that field is the most beautiful purple, it is covered in heather in full bloom. It is so beautiful sat in amongst all that green.

Today has been up and down, the bank once again has excessively charged me, but they have reimbursed it right away so they have done ok this time. Having trouble with another company that is supposed to be secure and trustworthy but are turning out not to be, we will see how that turns out in the next few days, though having talked to the 'people in power' that is the financial ombudsman they will be finding themselves in hot water pretty soon.

But it is a lovely day, well it was it is getting a bit cloudy now, but I have already been in town and done my bits, so I am ok for the rest of the day, I think?

And I have three whole days off, whooo hooo, heaven.

hope everyone has a good day

The dawn cret in on golden slippers with pink ribbond in her hair, she set the horizon on fire with her beauty and made the clouds blush with her kiss. The birds hushed their song as she made her entrance enthralled with the special effects singing through the sky.

Memories are powerful things, they take you over when you least expect, a song playing, a scent that suddenly takes you back years. And they sweep you away and fill your mind.

And they appear to have let the white rabbits in, so am off to work, have a great day, will finish this later

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous today, went to work with no coat on

Since getting home I have received another bill my email is down, actually all my emails are down, so it could be a net problem, but am I bovvered

The sun is shining and the sky is blue and that is just in my head Outside is pretty much the same though

Right I think my body may need nourishment, all I have to do is sweep the cobwebs out of the cupboard and see if there is actually any food in there, catch you all later.

Nightime has its own special sounds just as morning has its sounds, last night as I walked there were two little girls giggling, laughing as they were playing, they should have been asleep, wonder how many times mam had been up to them?

In another house a man was coughing, another the TV was on, another they were chatting and laughing,lights behind curtains warm and welcoming, night time revellers making their way home, a dog barking somewhere.

Later and the little girls have finally settled down, the friends that were laughing and joking have gone home and there is quiet from that house now, the man is still coughing, the dog is still barking.

Morning has the birds singing and announcing the coming of the dawn and the fact that they have survived the night, a man coughing in a bedroom, a dog barking somewhere, perhaps a car door every now and then if someone is going to work early, mostly peace and quiet.

Later and there are people going to work, cars and buses and you know that the world is awake, and another day has begun.

It is thursday, not long to the weekend now,there has been a lot of thinking and stuff going on in this head these past weeks and I think we have reached a position where we are finally working together, though I would not guarantee that

Have a great day whatever you are doing

Ribbons of flame danced across the horizon, dark and light grey clouds that could easily have been smoke from the flames but were just clouds retreated to let the dawn burn its way through.

I love mornings, that fresh crisp air, that peace before the sun peeps over the horizon, that special hush just before the main event where everything seems poised waiting for the special effects to begin.

Its the time when the mind is freshest, though not always at its best, guess that depends on what is going through it.

One more month of tightening the belt and resisting temptation and things should be a bit smoother. I could do with losing a few pounds anyway

Half way through the week, what delights await me today I wonder, hope everyone has a good day, whatever they are doing

Half past eight August twenty first, it is as cold as October and already dark. The sky has been dark for most of the day without the actual rain. Its almost like winter never left us.

Once again today I have proved my worth, we are behind with the critical illness they tell me, we are out of sla and no one has had time to sort it out. I took it ans sorted it nd brought it up to date in a day, at the same time as doing my normal tasks. I am at a loss as to why they cant keep up with it

Ah well they will miss me when I am gone

Hope everyone had a good day

I wrote a post last night, all about my discontent at work and so on and so forth, I was writing the last bit of that post and hit a key and was suddenly on someone elses blog, no post, all gone

I gave it up as a bad job in the end and went and studied

Something didnt want me to do that one, or, I am so clumsy just lately alway hitting the wrong keys and making a mess of stuff, or, I was quite angry last night and I dont normally do anger, to me it is a waste of energy as it doesnt actually get you anywhere.

I fluctuated between being angry and despondant, fed up of being ripped off, messed about and let down, but I am calm this morning, there again I have yet to go to work.

Even the sunrise had a touch of anger about her this morning, feiry red setting the sky on fire, burning away the grey clouds that lay within her reach, chasing them from the horizon with her touch. She too has calmed turning to pink as she cast her cloak over the sky, brightening the dull grey that has marked the days of the past few weeks.

I looked for things to amuse and make me laugh, and I found them in among the things that made me sad. I am pretty positive this morning, though nothing has changed I have at least started to make things happen by doing my CV and trying to get it out there. Who knows what will come along.

Its Tuesday, and hopefully the week will continue on a posititve note, have a great day, whatever you are doing.

The sun is trying to struggle through the clouds so it may just fair up at some point today, right now it is cloudy and grey.

I am a hop in front of the white rabbit and if I dont get a move on he will be catching me.

Hope everyone has a great day, even if it is monday

This is the third time I have tried to write a blog since seven, maybe this time it will actually get there

Hitting wrong buttons and various other anomalies and poof the post is gone.

Anyway I am at my sons, babysitting, I could have said no since I had him overnight and they didnt pick him up untill this afternoon, but, they dont get many nights out as he works all the time and it benefits me, in some ways.

Right off to do some study. #have a good night and sweet dreams

I cant deny that I have been having a pretty rough time emotionally, the weather hasn't helped of course, the constant rain and greyness. There are many factors really, finances and personal stuff which I am not ready to go into in a public blog.

I can see the light, its somewhere over there >>>

I have had the odd 'why me' moment, actually I have had a few of them if I am to be honest, and that is what I endeavour to be, Then I get a message out of the blue, from a friend, it makes me laugh and I know that he means the words in the message, because thats how he sees me. And it doesnt really matter that the finances are going to take months to sort out after the fiasco of the long term illness, or that life is total crap, because you know it isnt not really. I know it isnt easy, but then where would be the fun and the challenges if it was?

While I have the friends that I have, that know just when to send a message, like yesterday and this morning, while I have their support, friendship and love, then I am the richest person in the world, because that cannot be measured in monetary terms, it is priceless.

I wanted my children with me tonight, I knew it wasn't possible and to be honest I would not be able to tell them why, they are all grown up and have their own lives to lead. Events of the past are lost to them and for that I am glad.

Anyway I have the little one instead, I said that I would mind him so Caz could work since Mike is short staffed, guess it is some kind of comfort.

Its been a long day, incessant rain has confined me indoors, if it hadn't been for this cold I would have gone out with Miss Molly, but no point in aggravating things.

Our lovely blog couple Sixpence and Fella have had a baby boy, which I know is old news now but just thought I would mention it and add my congrats though I did give them at stupid o clock this morning

And thats it I think I wasnt going to write a blog today after all who wants to read my drivel on a saturday?

Hope everyone had a good day

I caught up with the brain somewhere inbetween leaving work at finishing time and getting home. It was so tired after its adventures poor thing all it wanted to do was sleep. First it fell asleep in the bath and then on the sofa and eventually I managed to get it to bed where once again it slept. Apologies to anyone that tried to communicate with me during that time I was Incompus Mentus.

Today it feels like I have been on the happy juice all night which brings me nicely to my next piece.

Last night I should have attended the wedding reception of my recent manager, I had a really good reason for not doing so, this cold and sore throat does not make you feel like getting dressed up and boogying, we wouldn't want to give the new bride a sore throat and heavy cold when she is about to set off for two weeks in the tropics now would we?

I know though that had I not had this cold, this really good reason for not going that I would have found some other really good reason for not going. just as I have for every leaving do, the Christmas party, the end of summer party, the engagement parties and so on and so forth. The words 'Previous engagement' come in really handy.

Why do I do this? Its hard to say really, somthing about keeping my work life and my private life seperate, but thats not all of it, I have watched and listened as they have dissected the previous nights out, "Oooh did you see what she was wearing?" and so on, they were not talking about me, primarily because I wasn't there to be talked about, they tell me how great a night I missed and then sit there picking all the people that went to bits? What they wore, who they were dancing with, how much they drank. Human nature I guess as both male and female join in this game.

My self confidence is small, I act as though it is huge but it isn't it is tiny. When at work doing my job I am full of confidence, because I am good at my job and I know I can do whatever is put before me to do, I have respect for that, and in some ways I am liked for it. They dont see the other me and that is the way it remains still, that person is for those that will not belittle or demean.

It isn't that I am not sociable, I mean I actually made the Leeds blog meet, for the afternoon at least, and would have made the Birmingham one but for genuine circumstances. I go out with my friends, I just have this need to keep my social and private life seperate from my work life. Maybe I will make the end of summer party this year, but then again, maybe I will have a really good reason not to

No Blog today
The Brain has gone away
It doesnt want to play
Its gone on holiday

No Blog today
the Brain has gone away
It left a note to say
There'll be no blog today

White Rabbits are chasing me today, anyone got a gun?

So no time for rambles and trundles and musings and so on and so forth.

Hope you all have a great day

Catch you later

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

Kindly post the answer as a comment on my blog and the question in yours and see what my response would be

(This is all Paddys fault)

I opened my mailbox this morning and I had forty emails, I thought my goodness who is a popular person suddenly

Out of the forty mails in my inbox from blog.co thirty nine were spam, and since then I have recieved another eight, all the same.

I dont want to have to make my comments monitored, that defeats the object of the blog, spammers are a pain and I really cant be bothered to follow his little trail and delete them all, so when you get to this one do me a favour and sod off and take your spam somewhere else!!

Right now on with the days doings, or sommat, it is pouring here, and I am back at work, so much for keeping dry!

Ah well hope everyone has a good day, will probably catch you later

I went to see the doctor man, the main reason I went to see him was the pain that I have been having all weekend, if any of you have ever had a cracked rib you will know the kind of pain I am talking about. Each movement is painful and even the shallowest of breaths causes stabbing pains and you really think your lung is going to drop out

I decided that as I knew I hadn't done anything to crack a rib and was pretty sure it wasn't that ( I have had a few of those courtesy of exes and the male parent) but I needed to know for sure.

The conversation went something like this

Doc: Good morning L, goodness you look awful!
Me: Good Morning Doc, thank you
Doc: You sound awful too
Me: I have a cold (nothing like stating the obvious is there?)
Doc: Hmmm, you are having problems, in pain? (As he prods where it hurts)
Me: (after scraping myself off the ceiling) Only *cough* when *cough* I breeaath *cough*

After much attempting to breath in to tubes and practically having my rib cage pulled out (like it didnt hurt enough already )it has been verified that I have pulled a muscle with coughing I have also scraped my throat as the cough has been dry and harsh. So Antiinflamotories to keep the swelling down and paracetomol to keep the tempreture down.

Back to work tomorrow amidst orders to keep dry and warm, did he forget we live in yorkshie?

The hand that held mine was strong and firm, yet soft and gentle as we walked down a street in the warm sunshine. I felt that I had been here before yet, knew that I had not. There was a familiarity about the street yet I did not know it.

There were street vendors along both sides and they called to us as we went past, laughing and joking with us, one of them threw me an apple and I bantered back with him, in Italian, I knew that I wasn’t in Italy, the ambience was wrong, the architecture was wrong.

The banter was easy and friendly, as though they knew me well, as though I went there often. We stopped in front of a double fronted shop with tables and chairs outside, the freshly washed windows sparkled in the morning sunlight, the door opened and the couple came out who owned the café, they greeted me in English with a heavy accent, chiding me for being away so long and bantering as the others did, I went to introduce the person I was with and as I turned to him, I woke up coughing!

Isn’t that always the way?

I dont even know who it was, what he loked like or anything

Blog.co was having a hissy fit this morning and wouldnt let me sign in, but as I have to go and be checked over at the docs I figured you could just have the morning post late

Right better go dry this hair before I turn this cold into Pneumonia

It is dull and overcast here, it rained a little this morning, just before I went out for my walk with Molly. She has been such a loving pain these past few days, trying to cuddle me and keep me warm. I know that she is only trying to love me the best she can, but I cant breath as it is!

It is just a heavy cold, but as is the way with colds it is making me feel crappy, especially as my throat is really sore and my voice is practically non existant and has been for four days now. It hurts to talk and so I have been trying not to. I shall work it out by cleaning the house from top to bottom. mind you a good curry or chilli would sort it for me

Trying to stay positive when your head is banging your eyes ache and you are coughing and sneezing is taking some effort but, it could be worse.

As I have been writing this the heavens have opened and it is absolutely pouring down, that means I am confined to the house today

Still that gives me chance to do the clening and some studying,

I shall get round to answering comments and visiting blogs just as soon as I can stand to be in front of the computer for more than five minutes at a time, it has taken me about two hours to write this much *sigh*

Hope you all have a great Sunday, whatever you are doing xx

Success is not final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.

The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see

Winston Churchill.

I have been toying with the idea of changing my job, as you are aware things have been happening that I am not comfortable with, and the choice was made easier for me yesterday when they finally announced who the two new members of our team were going to be.

Really I could say I have known since I first heard that this woman had applied that she would be one of the ones that would get the job. I mentioned some time ago that there was a woman on the phone staff that absolutely did my head in, constantly giving out wrong information, constantly telling people what she thought and not what was correct. She cost several of my clients good deals on settlements and caused complaints from others. We complained about her numerous times, sent emails even had a meeting about her, but she continued unabated, even getting advisor of the month in May