One of the problems with not sleeping is that it gives you far too much thinking time. The less one sleeps it seems the more one thinks. Of course that is not always a bad thing, you can sort out problems that normally would gnaw away at the back of your mind and eventually start to stress you out, so in that way it is a good thing as it eases stress.
I may ramble a bit while I write, another side effect of not sleeping, erm, well no actually, that is normal 
I sat at four this morning with a half decorated Christmas tree, (there is a tale there, in a moment or two) after having just mopped the kitchen floor, sorted all the washing and drying, taken it upstaors etc etc, ready to throw in the towel and the tree in the yard, when I strated that terrible thing called thinking.
It started off with thinking about pulling yourself together woman! After all yes, it has been a bad year, but it has been worse for others, it went on to all the people that will be alone tomorrow, for whatever reason, and how being alone on Christmas day is one of the worst times to be that way.
I am talking about real loneliness, that deep dark place that many of us think we are in, but in reality we have only visited for periods of time. The type where you sit holding your phone hoping that someone will call, knowing they wont because noone knows your number, after all there is noone to give it to apart from strangers you have met in the pub, in the street, who probably threw it away the minute you were out of sight. Such loneliness is hard enough to bear but worse at Christmas, for this is family time, friend time, a time of being together and it enhances loneliness, especially as it is also a time when there is nowhere to go for that one day.
It flicked from there to thinking about how much people miss, I watched them the other day, walking with their eyes stuck to the pavement, or straight ahead, head bowed a little, as if they were afraid to look up in case they saw something they didnt like. Yet if they had they would have seen the beautiful scenery that is just there right in front of them on the walk in to town. So much is missed by not daring to raise the eyes, so much beauty, so much wonder.
Which of course set me off on the path of wonder, and wonderment, and mysticism, and Myth and Magic, and all of those things come down to hope and faith. We all have something that keeps us, um, sane, something that we believe in, as farfetched as others may believe it to be, this is the thing that gets us through the hard times, that shines light on us when the way ahead is dark, often it is hard to think that good times will come when things always seem to be going wrong.
Me? I believe in Fairies 
