I placed the cat amongst the pigeons yesterday when I turned round and told the boss that I was working to the best of my abilities given the time I was now being allowed on my own tasks and if it wasn't good enough for them then I would hand in my notice and they could find some one better that would do as they wanted.

This announcement was met by coughing and spluttering, and much refuting of claims of favouritism regarding certain members of staff, I then told them to take a good look at the rota, they could then see why the claims were being made.

I only have two days before I have nine days off and I am trying very hard to be good

It is a beautiful day today and I got a bargain yesterday on some shoes (I actually went to buy shampoo, came back with two pair of shoes, no shampoo ) so you see things are still good

Though AJ and I are going to start our own business for unemployed bloggers

It is wednesday, I have been ruffling feathers for the past two days at work, I really do not care about this as it is time. I may well be on the dole queue by the end of the week, but at least I will have had my say

My problem is voicing my opinion in a place where you are not supposed to have one, the way that things are going there wont be a business because they will not have any staff left, never mind, now anyone want to hire a negotiator/psychologist?

It is also half way through the week which means that after today I only have two days and I then have 9 days off, I am so looking forward to it too.

The sun isn't exactly shining here as it is overcast but it is warm, hopefully the clouds will remove themselves before long and it will be a nice day.

And now I am off to get ready for work, have a great day all

I have been morose, depressed, fed up, feeling sorry for myself, and a hundred other things over the past few weeks, nay months.

The depression I have been fighting for over a year, I thought I had it licked, not so I discovered, however, it seems I may be closer to doing so than I think. A few personal knocks seemed to spiral me back down into it, a further deflation of my sense of self worth as well as the feeling of being taken advantage of has served to keep it hanging around like a black cloud hanging over my head.

You see I forgot.

The one thing that has always kept me going.

But I have just been reminded of it by reading a story someone else wrote.

My mainstay in life has been the ability to see beauty where others could only see ugliness (not in me I hasten to add, in the surrounding environment) to see light where others see darkness, to see rainbows where others see only clouds, to know that sunshine follows every rain and to be aware of life and that the best of it is free and right there in front of you, above you and around you.

For a while I lost that ability, forgot that I had it, but I now have it back and I am smiling as I sit here, knowing that I am back to normal, I am just back, as me again

Apart from a few lines thismorning it has been several days since I have blogged, looks like I am in contention for the laziest blogger award next year

There has been much going on, most of it in my head as is usual, three days off work and going back todayI see that not only has nothing changed but it is actually getting worse, if that is possible, what do I see in my future, well actually nothing, I am not clairvoyant!

I was going to write a long blog, but I have changed my mind (this one works better) as I can see this descending in to a feel sorry for myself bit of whinging and that will never do, specially as I dont actually feel sorry for myself, well not about work anyway.

So I will be back later when I have something of value to say

I haven't got much to say today really, cept it is the last day of the writing competition so if you are wanting to enter you need to hurry.

To enter go here http://writingforfun.blog.co.uk

Other than that have a great Monday and catch you later

It has taken three days of sitting right next to the boss that hasn't a clue and shouldnt be in charge zone leader to finally getting across my point that constantly placing me on inbound all day every day means my own work will be left and my own clients will be neglected, she pulled me into a 'private' chat just before I finished work to let me know that she had decided that I could spend all of tomorrow on my own work, that she could see that I had been trying to get my work done despite being one of the very few that do not log out every two minutes, we had a little chat about the 'other' staff and she has said that there are going to be changes as she has noticed quite a lot this week since the teams were split like who does all the work and who skives off this has led to a reassessment of what she did not say

Not that I can see it making much difference but one lives in hope!

Anyway as you may have guessed I have had a rough two days at work meaning I have been very tired when I have got home and even the studying has suffered, feeling tired tonight but not as bad, though I was up at the crack of dawn as I couldn't sleep.

One more day and I have three days off, whooo hooo, am looking forward to that, so how was you tuesday and wednesday?

Tuesday, the week is into it's second phase, or is that day? I guess that depends on which religion you are in or which calendar you follow, Sunday is actually the first day of the week and Saturday the last, though Friday is traditionally the end of the working week, so if we go by that Tuesday is actually the third day of the week and not the second day of the week, however it is viewed, it is half way through my working week as I have friday and saturday off so only two more days to go after today.

Are you confused yet?

Never mind soon be the weekend

Right off to get ready for the day, one must do ones best whether one likes it or not, have a great day and I want to hear all about it when I get back

I decided to take a stand back and look at why I feel so dissatisfied with everything at the moment.

You see I enjoy dealing with people, I love people, so it has to be who I work for, it seems that who I work for is part of the problem but not all of it, the place I work in is depressing, there is no actual daylight as the room I work in has no windows, not good, I love people, but, I have lost count of the amount of times that I have had to tell people that they cannot put anything and everything on their income and expenditure as this is supposed to be a true reflection of their financial situation, some of tem really do like taking the p..etunias.

There is a wealth of difference between those in genuine financial difficulties and those that just want to get away with not paying back what they have had and spent, and it is the genuine ones that suffer because of the others.

So thats three things so far, the people I work for, the place I work and some of the people that I have to deal with, the solution I guess is to find a job where I am dealing with people, somewhere that has windows and where they are in genuine need, apparently this is not as easy as it sounds, still hopefully the right job will come along, eventually.

Anoher Monday draws to a close, and how was your day?

Monday morning and back to work, here is how things have been since Friday.

Friday was planned to perfection, I started work an hour early so I could finish an hour early, son would take wife to restaurant I would babysit and watch film I had just acquired, lunch time the plans remained the same. I arrived home expecting everyone to be ready to be greeted with, we have changed our minds?

This is typical of my Son (I dont know where he gets it from! ) Instead they or rather he, made a meal for the family instead. I have to say that I have a budding chef on my hands, he made Salmon in lemon butter (which he also made himself)served with New potatoes Asparagus and green beans, followed by gataue and cream. The Salmon was perfect, and I am very fussy about salmon, we had champagne, and coffee, lovely

Saturday started quite badly when I discovered that my last bit of money had been taken by BT, who were not supposed to take it unitl the first of the month, August that is, added to the fact that we had just been through yet another cock up of theirs, they sent my bill to the old address then cut me off for not paying it, just the latest in a long line of cock-ups since April!

The rest of the day wasn't too bad, did some wow'ing and some studying.

Sunday was mostly WOW'ing on Saturday I had boosted someone through a dungeon and on Sunday my son and his wife took it in turns to play booster to our lower characters through some other dungeons, so quite a lot of WOW'ing and some studying and I was cook for the day so inbetween I made tea etc.

So that was it, my weekend, boring wasn't it?

How was your weekend?

Today is a special day in our house, a year ago today I and they were sunning ourselves in Great Yarmouth, well on this particular day we were too busy for that.

At this time I was walking on the beach, the children were still in bed, so was most of the household actually, except for me, it is strange how much I still miss the beach, guess that is where my spirit resides if that is so then I will find my way back there eventually.

The rest of the day was spent preparing for and being part of this.

Happy first wedding anniversary Mike and Caz, I hope you have many more

Sometimes the thoughts that go through my head scare me just a tad, I guess that is what happens when you allow yourself to think too much, especially at a time when you should'nt be thinking at all

I am determined that by the time my week off is over I will have a new job, if not, I dread to think what I might do.

Anyway it is friday tomorrow and I have the whole weekend off, and that I am really looking forward to.

I went ot work in a positive mood, determined not to let the hierarchy bother me, as I signed in I got a full apology for the attitude of yesterday, I was stressed she said, yes I know.

Anyway we worked it out between us and I have got a long weekend booked and then a week at work and then a week off

Happy birthday to my lovely friend six

To say Happy Birthday to Six go here http://sixpence.blog.co.uk

Hope everyone has a good day

Only two weeks left to the closing date of the Writing competition, the entries so far can be seen here http://writingforfun.blog.co.uk
Come on you know you want to,

Yesterday was not a good day, at work, I have tried and have been trying for the past week to book a week off, I just get told things like you can have the week off but not the monday, now how is that a week off? I got annoyed in the end and pointed out tht others give her less than a weeks notice and get the time they want, one particular person seems to get whenever she wants, I asked to finish an hour early on friday as my son is taking Caz out for their wedding anniversary ( which by the way is no longer a secret ) and I had to fight for it, this other person has asked for the day off, with a feeble excuse that we all know is not true and has got it, and yes I am annoyed

If I dont take some time off soon I will be handing in my notice thats for sure

Anyway, hopefully I will keep my calm and today will be better

Right am off to sort the brat out

Be back soon

Monday mornings dont feel so bad when I am on this shift, I don't start until 11 so I have until half ten to 'do my own thing' and I finish at 7 so it is still early enough to do some more of my own thing, though i am often too tired for that.

Anyway, tis the start of yet another week and we are now halfway through another month, where does it go? On friday my son will have been married a year, it really doesn't seem that long since we were all away in Great Yarmouth! A whole year, my goodness, still there will be no holiday celebrations for the anniversary, we cannot afford it, though he is taking the lovely wife out for a meal, which right at this moment is a secret *SShhhhhhh*

good job she doesn't read this isn't it

Right am going to go have a bath whle they are all out taking the brat to school, catch you later have a great day

Wel here I am sat on the sofa, with my coffee at the side of me, bloggin, on my brand new laptop, now it is not a mac or anything super mega like that, but it is centrino dual core etc, I had finally paid off the desk top and decided it was time I entered the 20th century along with all you other modern cats

Not too bad a day at work and though the sun wasn't exactly cracking the flags at least it didn't rain.

And how has your day been?

I find it confusing when people ask me questions, that the reactions given are quite often shocked and sometimes hostile, gasps of astonishment and "I never thought that of you!" It is simple enough, if you dont want honest answers to personal questions then dont bloomin ask them!

One of the resons that the Angel portrayed on my profile has black wings is because I am no goody goody, yes I love helping others and yes my heart may be in the right place, but I am far from earning my white wings and halo, I am human like everyone else.

So ask me anything you like, but if my answers shock or embarrass you have the decency and respect that I would have for you and remember that everyone is different and unique

And now on to the other stuff, it is Saturday and I am working in just over half an hour so just going to wish everyone a great weekend and dont do anything I wouldn't, enjoy whatever you do decide to do and I will catch you later

Friday dawns again, is it me or is this year passing by a tad too fast? In the seventh month already The first person that mentions that happening that happens on the 25th December gets cursed, or slapped bums wrists

I am working this weekend so today isn't that good

I do have Sunday off though and am on lates next week, I like lates as I have so much more time, or so it seems, I dont start til 11 and I finish at 7, still loads of time to do stuff if I want to, and studying in a morning is so much better than trying to do it after a full day at work listening to people whining and whinging all day (and thats just the staff! )

Right have to go and finish getting ready, mornings are not so rushed on this shift as they used to be as I now refuse to go in early.

Have a great day

I have been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately, this is due to the huge ever so small crisis I am currently going through

I am having a crisis of faith, nothing to do with religion, in myself really, in my own abilities, it is bad enough that my face doesn't fit at work and that promotion has gone to someone many years younger that while she is a brown noser and telltale hard worker, knows nothing about the work that I do (yet again) and the second one to a total stranger from outside the company that not only doesnt know the work that I do, she doesnt know the work any of us do!! I am beginning to wonder if any of the bosses have any sense at all

When I asked 'Lady Boss' if she thought that I should apply for the job her words were "If I were you I would check the criteria and if you think you might fit then do so" this from someone that was supposedly a friend(ish) and was at one time a lowly manager and got where she is simply by being a 'yes' person. The lady whose shoes she has filled was ousted because she had the guts to stand up for us the workers.
See I know I should look for a new job, but I dont have bus fares and I dont have to travel for ages to get there, and what about my clients, who I feel I am failing miserably at the moment as I dont have the time to do all that I should due to the fact that there is not enough staff and they think they can get away with everyone doing everything for the same pay and getting it right, not a chance!

And then there is my studies, up to now I have been lucky, I have had good tutors who have explained things if I have got it wrong, have had the patience to show me how and where etc, this is how you learn to get it right, yes?

This one doesnt think so, this tutor has downgraded every assignment, not one has been in the right format, though I have changed the format each time at the Tutors bidding, nothing is right, but all I get are terse little comments throughout the assignment and then a couple of short sentences of overall evaluation. If it is wrong show me where! And why! I may just scrape a pass, and that is nowhere near good enuogh for me

Oh Pah and Humbug what a boring dismal post, see this is why I have been staying away

Still have a good day all

Seems my weekend has spilled over into my week

Never mind day off tomorrow, and I may even get time to blog

Nicked from the Lovely Landers who nicked it from someone else and so on

Use seven words to describe your weekend:

Absolute

Complete

Rubbish

Actually

Glad

Its

Monday

In five words or less, describe how does this differ from any other weekend?

It didn't really, (except I wasn't working)

If I keep telling myself it is Friday and I dont care what they throw at me, do you think I will be able to eventually believe it?

Who cares I have the weekend off and right now only four hours left when I get back to work, so, I am being calm, I am being laid back, I am being non commital.

And if that woman pulls me up about one more petty, stupid little thing this afternoon I will be very good, I will merely wait until she goes in to her meeting and reset her database No, naughty, be good heheheheehe

Catch you later

Yesterday turned out to be quite a long day, not just because the 'Zone leader' you know the one who doesn't even know how to do most of the things we do, kept pulling me over silly little things that were caused through training, and that was the second thing, my trainee!

Now dont get me wrong he is a lovely guy, but he is having romantic problems, and I can tell you that Landers has a contender for the queen crown! (But not for my affections Mwaah) tried telling him that if you are going to make a profile with a false name to spy on your boyfriend then dont be surprised if you find out things you dont like and when he arranges to meet the false you!! So we had this all day! And work went out of the window.

Rough day but today is a new one and hopefully will be better, fingers crossed.

So have a great day

Wednesday, half way through the week and I am not working this weekend, huraaahhh. Well not going to work but I will still be working *sigh*

I had a little blow out yesterday about clients and their selfish 'everyone should do everything for me' attitudes, I have to emphasise that the majority of the people I deal with are not like that, they are genuine people that are trying to sort out their situation, yes debt is easy to get, and yes most people in this country have it. Often there are genuine reasons for the situation that they are in, change of job, having a family, but most will admit that they found it too easy to just 'put it on the card' and then the companies raise the limit without a by your leave and you dont even realise that you have spent so much until the bill comes in!

If anyone is having problems with their finances please feel free to ask for advice, I am not the worlds greatest expert but I do work in the business and know the do's and donts.

And now on to more pleasent things

It was lovely here yesterday and then the heavens opened last night, this morning looks nice again but a bit cloudy, hoopefully it will be as warm as it was yesterday, time we had some summer!

We have two stories so far in the summer writing competition, go here to read them, http://writingforfun.blog.co.uk they are ace.

Right am offski, have a great day

I swear if I have to listen to one more person tell me that paying a creditor £1.00 a month should be sufficient to prevent them from obtaining CCJ's I will say something I will (most probably through loss of job) regret!!

When will people get it into their heads that they have had and spent the money and the companies want it back? And yes it is out job to negotiate with them but honestly offering them a £1.00 a month payment on over £20,000.00 is not going to cut it, I mean they were nice they accepted this for twelve months and now they wanr their pound of flesh!

Sorry, rough morning, I am just thankful that the majority of our clients actually want to pay what they owe ( well a little less if we can do it) and creditors are not Demons, in the past nine months I have had over £100,000.00 wiped off for people that are terminally ill, and some of them were CCJ's, ah well maybe it will stop them getting any more debt, though you would not believe how many just go out and do it again

Right lunch over back to work.

I have ideas, most of us do from time to time, but mine are continual, course most of them are not brilliant ideas, or even very good or even logical (and I like logic)

They start from a single 'What if' usually, then they just seem to start taking on a life of their own, they mull around for a while in the 'what if' stage and then they advance to the 'maybe' stage and then the 'hmmm wonder if'

Luckily I have this very logical streak that runs through me, and it counters the ideas with the practicalities, such as time, opportunity, money (thats a big one that is, money) and of course how my ideas will effect other people. Mostly the logical side wins, but sometimes, just sometimes the impulse side wins and I end up in situations that I find it difficult to extract myself from.

Next time I get an idea someone needs to tell me to go chill and eat chocolate, or something, because honestly, nothing seems to work out as it should and I should really leave them alone

Though I wonder if................