Just Me!! The Butterfly effect

I am sat propped up in bed with my lap top on my erm lap listening to the rain beating on the window and the wind howling and thinking I have somehow jumped forward two or three months to the middle of winter

But it is cosy here, and I have been reading blogs and dropping the odd comment here and there.

Yeah I know I shold be sleeping, but just lately I forget what that is, hmmm might watch a DVD

I am a great beleiver in the Butterfly effect, that things that happen reverberate around the world. The same effect is felt in the things you do to and how you treat, other people.

I often say that smiling at people can bring about a smile from them, which lightens their mood and places them in a better position to have a good day, it is also true of gestures, even the smallest gestures can have a huge effect, letting someone with only two items go in front of you at the checkout, even though you have been queueing for ages, (which I did today) in turn may make that person do something nice for someone else and then they return the favour with someone else and so on and so on, at the end of that chain someones life could be saved, and that little gesture becomes a very big one, you may never know of the happenings at the other end of that gesture, but doesn't it make you feel good anyway?

By the way it is a good film too

I have had a good few days, despite stupidly volunteering to work yesterday morning, I got a bargain on friday when I went to buy myself a new jacket, saved some money there Got myself a little windfall, only a teeny one, but it will make a difference to me this month I got a couple of other bargains and I have to admit am feeling a little satisfied with myself.

All I need now is to get rid of this writers block, get some sleep and perhaps a new job And all will be fine in this world.

Nah, all is fine, maybe it would be nice just for it to be a bit better.

Hope you have all had a good weekend

I sat down to write a long and rambling post.

And now I'm not.

Have a great day, it's Friday, the weekend beckons

What strange things we muse about when we are carrying out routines that are practiced so often they are mechanical and therefore need little or no thinking about, of course this is when accidents happen, when you are not actually watching what you are doing, no I didn't spill hot water over me or drop anything on my foot, in fact I didn't do anything wrong, just saying thats when they happen

I was thinking about the upcoming Leeds blog meet and that inevitably brought me to thinking about the last Leeds blog meet and that brought me to thinking about how different some people are snce then and how much has changed in their lives since then and so on and so forth. I met some very special people that day, and the warmth with which I was greeted was overwhelming, it is a special memory, sadly I couldn't stay and get to know them a little better, the trip itself was a huge milestone for me, but I felt that these people had become that much more special to me even though I was there such a short time.

It is funny how people touch our lives in ways that we dont even think about, I believe that there is a reason for all the people that you meet in life, they have been introduced into your life for a purpose, whether this is for a short or a long time, each person that we meet brings us something that we did not have before, makes us aware of something that may have always been there but we did not see it.

I believe that the same is true of strangers that touch us for only seconds, the girl/boy on the train that smiles shyly at you, next time smile back, the reverberations of that smile could cause someone somewhere to have a really special day

And now to save you all from being utterly bored to death by the ramblings of a mad woman, I shall go and get ready for work

Have a great day whatever you are doing

Monday morning and the rain has swept back in and the sky is gloomy and grey, a bit like my mood at the moment.However, like the rain and the grey sky it will pass

I took myself out of the family loop yesterday and spent from lunchtime until bedtime in my own room, breaking for tea and then going back again. I decided that the only way to clear my head was to have some peace and isolation was the only way that I could find that. I need to think, about what next, I dont do long term planning (apart from my studies) as my previous post points out, I have reasons for this, I know that most people see it as being pat of their life structure, my plans have been swatted away by lifes hiccups too many times, so now the furthest ahead I will plan at a push is six months. And that is a recent thing as up to the 'thinking' time I gave myself yesterday it had only been weeks.

I think six more months of living here and they should be on their feet, i should be relatively sound and it should be time to move on, I feel quite a bit of the time like I am being taken advantage of, things are not as they should be and it is time to try to work them round to being where they should be at. Course it is easier said than done, but, it is time to draw the line.

Sometimes I feel like I am moving in a huge circle, I go round to find myself right back where I was before, straight lines may not be as pretty but they get you farther

Right time to get ready for work, late shift this week which gives me more time in a morning for penning the sort of rubbish that you see above you

Have a great day and I will catch you all later.

Here we are in the middle of september, soon another year will be over.

I never look too far into the future, I did once, but events have shown me that it is not the wisest thing to do, I once had my whole life planned out, of course it was nothing like it is now. I once planned months and even as much as a year ahead, now it is merely weeks if that, I look for friday, and that is as far as I go, monday to friday and the weekend will take care of itself.

Though I do have to plan some things, blog meetings for instance, where I have to book the time off work and sort the household out

I have this innate love of life, and I know from past experience that as much as you might like to think you are prepared for anything, you are not, and the only way to prepare yourself for what life throws at you is to always look at the bright side of things, though admittedly sometimes there doesn't seem to be one.

I am a survivor, and as such find it difficult to not carry on regardless, I dont show much emotion and tend to keep me to me when things are bad, I guess thats because there have been very few, if any times when I have had anyone to support me when I really needed it, and as such you tend to not look for it, I am lucky in the fact that I have some great friends, both on here and 'out there'

I really dont have much to complain about, though my life is not and never has been a bed of roses (Thorns are quite scratchy too) things could be worse, That doesn't mean I will stop trying to make it better, that would be giving up, giving in, and there aint no way I could do that

And maybe one day the Man upstairs will smile on me, you never know

It is an absoloutely beautiful day, the sun is shining it is warm, the sky is a glorious blue colour.

And I am working!!!

How wrong is that?

Ah well only another five hours to go

Catch you later

The postal system in this country has gone nuts!!!

Got to go back to work

Catch you later

They don't do emotes for a smug look ssuch a shame

I had no intentions of seeing my ex, as I had already said. It was a rough day at work yesterday, the morning was hectic and everyone seemed to be in a bad mood, clients thats is.

My Son surprised me by meeting me on my way up home for lunch, and him and Caz took me out for lunch.

I had spoken to my youngest daughter (the middle child) about her Dad that morning, and she had sent him a text on the number her brother had sent her, she was the least reluctant to meet him. I left her to it, after all this was her decision to make not mine.

I had lunch and walked half way up the road with the couple, they went up home I went the other way to work, walking in a world of my own I hears someone call "excuse me" I recognised his voice immediately, and turning round there he was.

You know that feeling you get when you know you look good (I work in an office that has important visitors so the impeccable outfit is mandatory) and you know instantly that this has been noticed?

"Oh my god you look great er well, how ya doing" was his greeting, Cool, calm demeanour and keeping the smugness inside as much as is ppossible I replied that I was doing fine, I did not return the compliment. He was there to pick up my daughter for lunch ( we work in the same place) I was introduced to the Fiance (more smugness, oh my, I am the cat that got the cream ) I was the epitome of sophistication, I told them I would let my Daughter know they were waiting and where and walked into work with the demeanour of a lady, you cant buy class you know

Mt afternoon though hectic was better, that feeling is still with me, and I know that pride goes before a fall, but I dont care! It made me feel good, about myself, it gave me a buzz that is still with me, it gave me renewed confidence.

It also made me realise that I still got it ( whatever 'it' is )

Have a great day, whatever you are doing, catch you all later

Monday, and the working week beckons, are we all feeling lively and raring to go?

Must admit I am not, I am tired and raring to go back to bed

Will tell you about last night, and the verdict from my Son later, right now white rabbits are around the corner and I got to go get ready, have a great day,

I have had a strange week, apart from work that is, nothing strange there, same old same old.

Sixteen years ago my ex husband left his new wife and buggared off Darn Sarf (thats down South to you lot ) We never heard from him, no cards for birthdays or christmas let alone presents.

After my grandson was born and my son had been diagnosed with testicular cancer and had an op and then been cleared, he decided he wanted to find his dad, I supported him all the way, after all he had grandchildren he had a right to know (even if he was a prat) anyway we didn't find him and life went on as normal.

I came home friday night to be informed that he was here in town and had contacted my son, he went to see my son at work and my son and his family are there now, at the place he is staying, having a meal. He asked me if it bothered me, it doesn't, it is his dad, no matter what he was like with me. I am just wondering why now? What has made him suddenly decide he wants to get in touch with them after all these years when he couldn't even send a card?

I haven't seen him, I said I have no feelings for him one way or the other, and I dont, I just dont see the point in meeting him, because as much as I dont care about him, I care about the way he ignored his children, I was the one who was mum and dad, and now he wants to play grandad! Ah well he is back off Darn Sarf tomorrow, and it is the childrens choice, and I will support their choice.

Still puzzled though?

Lets talk about.

Well anything you like really, after all this is what having a blog is about, as we have all proved.

One of the things that I love is the vareity of blogs and people and subjects that you come across while blog hopping (this is something I tend to do, click on new posts, general, and just hop from one blog to another, it is fun) so many different things to read as well as my friends blogs, this is what makes blogging addictive

Of course I dont always comment, sometimes it is not neccasary, sometimes it is not appropriate, and sometimes I just bite my tongue, unless it is something I feel strongly about. I like to offer support if it is needed, and I like people to know that their blog does get read, encourage them to continue to write. After all this is what being part of a community is about is it not

Right enough blathering for now got to go to work *sigh*

Catch you all later

Lets talk about Blog.

Though blog.co has the best community that I have seen all blog sites offer you the same kind of thing, a place to go to vent,say things you cant to 'those out there', to be with others of a like mind.

Whatever you use it for matters not, the point is that blog, like real life, attracts a variety of different people, from all walks of life, and as with real life, there will be good and bad and indifferent.

You will meet people you can and will become friends with, we have had several relationships start on blog, some resulting in marriage and babies. We have had blog meets and we have all met people that we get on really well with, either virually, in real life, or both.

There will always be, as in real life, people you dont like, people that you cannot get on with, people that will say things to try and hurt you. I personally have drawn the attention of several 'blog miseries' whose aim in life is to try to get me to stop blogging. I have almost left a couple of times, but have realised that these people are not as important as the others, the ones on my list, and the pleasure of reading others blogs, nt just the ones on my list.

The trick is to realise that just as with real life you cannot please all the people all the time, when you are straightforward and honest it sems to be a particular failing However, we are who we are, dont let others spoil things for you, ignore them, or at least try to.

Stay and enjoy, and now I am off to work and if I haven't upset too many people I will catch you all later

Despite the weather report that states it will be raining sheets for the next three days the sun was shining when I left work, though it is still chilly.

I have it on good authority that it has been beautiful 'Darn sarf' ( thats down south for those of us not familiar with this particular southern dialect) and if it hasn't been in the bit of the south that you may live in then I can not be held responsible and I give you permission to sue the person responsible for the information, name and address available by PM or email

Admittedly the sun did not show its face until after 3.30pm, until then it sheeted down, as predicted, right up until lunch time I managed to stay fairly dry though.

So I decided that I am going to up and move to the sunshine and go be John and Pauls Au pair, or sumfink

Right am offt, dont know where, actually I do, is going to get some tea, back later

Wednesday, and we are half way through the week, I have mixed feelings about wednesdays, sometimes they are good sometimes not, the fact is it is speedy on down to the weekend once today is over.

I will be continuing my consumer blog, despite pressure to ditch it, though I dont post in it everyday I do believe that people have a right to know what is going on out there, after all it is your money these people play with and want.

and now folks it is time to go to work, have a great day and I will catch you later when work is over

I walked out of work to be greeted with the most beautiful rainbow, the colours were so vibrant it was breathtaking. Course I got the usual funny looks and wide avoidances due to me being stood awestruck gazing at the sky Do these things not please other people?

I love the way that nature can come up with the most beautiful aweinspiring things, sunsets and rises and flowing clouds or wonderful rainbows, is there any other artist in the world that can create such vibrancy?

I must admit that I practically danced out of work, I dont know the reason why, but when I am able to speak of things I cannot yet speak about you might be able to work out part of it. It is coming into Autumn and the winter is around the corner and yet right at this moment I could go dancing on beaches in rain, perhaps something good is coming, just around the corner, who knows?

Right off to have some food and then, well i have nothing planned, just chillin I guess

Catch you later

Monday, went as any other monday does, except of course for the meeting, which I am apparently not allowed to talk about. So I will say nothing.

Anyway, I see the spammers are about again

How was everones weekend? Mine was laid back, chillin, and stuff, you know a bit of shopping a lot bit of WOW, a bit of studying, etc etc etc, been having problems with the not sleeping thing, but hey who needs sleep?!!

On the plus side I have had some replies from the applications anf things are not looking too bad.