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Mostly they keep me entertained for all of a couple of minutes while the next snippet comes along or something else captures my vast and never ending imagination, until today that is, and this one has had me puzzling all the way home and am puzzling still (in between other more important things I might add) overheard snippet from a police officer to his obviously rookie charge " thats why I say always carry cheese slices" intrigued? You bet I am, what!!

Why would a policeman carry cheese slices with him on the beat, is this some new and infallable weapon we have not been made aware of? Is there a purpose for cheese slices other than placing them on toast? Or on the tops of burgers?

If there are any policemen out there, please put me out of this turmoil and explain to me what the cheese slices are for, because it has me beat.

Meanwhile I wonder if any of you lot can come up with a cheese slice scenario that would make carrying them seem sensible (or not knowing you lot )

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Armed with my trusty inhalator I have entered the fray, though I have to admit to the odd slide into a quick puff or two, I am finding that I want them less and less, they make me feel nauseated and dizzy and instead of perservering til it goes away, I put it out and dont bother, I want to do this and I know that I wont if I dont do it this way.

The inhalator as opposed to patches, the reason I chose it that way apart from the fact that I have tried patches and failed is that patches release nicotine slowly into your bloodstream over 24 hours, you then have the problem of weaning off the patches, so it is like a twelve week process, it only takes nicotine 4 days to remove its presence from your body, the rest of the craving issues are down to behavioural problems, the lighting of the cig, the times you had them, e.g. after meals, first thing in a morning. The inhalator uses nicotine cartridges that you place inside, when your craving for nicotine is at its highest you simply place in mouth and take a drag, much like you would with a cigarette, the amount you inhale is down to you and how hard you suck (behave boys!!)

This way you are combatting both sets of craving issues at the same time, behavioural and chemical, and to be honest a lot of the time just placing it in the mouth the same as the ciggy takes away the craving itself without actully taking any nicotine in.

Finding things to do is always going to be an issue, especially if you are out of work as I am, going out for walks is fine, but not when it is pouring it down with rain and a gale force wind blowing, so I have been trying to find all sorts of things to occupy myself with, omg isn't fcebook boring!! Parts of my family have just become addicted to it, well the games on it, zoo and cafe and farm, I have had a little play over the past couple of days, but I have to say, I would rather level my Druid!

So this is the reason that I have been AWOL, I wanted to give it a try before announcing it to the world, hopefully by this time next week there will be no slides back to the odd puff here and there and I will be smoke free

Have a good day

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I am making the dinner which we will have at 6-30pm because of son working til 6pm, I also went and bought all makings for sunday dinner in the very nasty weather we are having, gale force winds and torrential rain, a window got smashed across the road because they had it part open and the wind caught the catch and slammed it into the wall, that will cost them a bob or two! And of course trees are groaning and leaves are flying, and I almost was too, the wind though couldn't make up its mind which way to send me so I managed to keep both feet on the ground

I needed a relaxing day after the madhouse of yesterday, and the very long day it turned out to be, though much fun was had, when I got home and finally sat down after nine hours on my feet I realised just how tired and achey I was, nice long hot bath and some quality chill out time got me relaxed enough to have an easier day today without still aching.

And that is it for now, not a morning post I grant you, but at least it is a post

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It would seem that all is well in blogland again as we welcome back our intrepid reporter Juzzy and there is also the return of Neilonline, it is nice when wanderers come home

My week has been busy and today promises to be as busy if not more so, has everyone gone mad this year? I think it is the publics way of battling the recession and all the gloomy news that has been abounding for months, party season lets start it with a bang, there was an 18th last night and all I can say is that she is a very popular young girl, a lot of people have put a lot of effort into their costumes for the fancy dress, I know I have helped them choose most of them I hope that she had a great party, the costumes alone have cost a fortune!

And then there is halloween, which is of course today, lots of parties going on and even my own family are joining in, my son and his wife are going to friends and the ladies are taking the children out trick or treating while the men stay at home and prepare food stuffs and dole out treats to the people coming to the door, seems a bit back to front to me, but this is the modern way

I will have the house to myself and shall enjoy the peace and quiet that I dont get very often, it will be heaven to be able to sit and relax and watch TV on my own and I am looking forward to it very much.

And now I shall go have a bath and prepare myself for the final onslaught, all the ones that have left getting their costumes until the last minute, today will be mega fun

Have a great day

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Have a great day

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Of course the fact that I have done four years of Uni also doesn't help though you would think that it would, it apprently means I am worth even more, except people dont want to pay it. With so many out of work in the area they can afford to be choosy, so underqualified for some work and over for others makes it hard to find that middle line. Trudging streets and constantly bugging employers doesn#t seem to work anymore than the constant barrage of applications I have made to the same places, of the few that I manage to get further than the bin, and finally get an interview it seems there is always something that doesn't work for them, I have great intrviews and no job, the last one was a really bad interview, and no job.

It seeps away your self esteem, your confidence ebbs a little more each time and you begin to feel inadequate, this affects your interviews, I know this happened last time, they asked me a question that I had difficulty in answering and that was it, the rest of the questions felt like hurdles and the confidence I felt at the beginning slowly disappeared, I wouldn't have hired me either. I know I could have done the job, the problem is that they dont, and they do interviews to gauge that, had they given me the chance I could have shown them just how good I am, but people dont do that because it is too big risk.

So now I take a deep breath and learn some more, another lesson in how not to get a job, and a little wiser we think next time we learn all we can beforehand, the problem is that they want more than they advertise for and how are you supposed to know that or what 'more' it is that they are looking for? And the cycle starts again, the season of goodwill is almost on us and it is possible that I may get a temp job somwhere but, when that is over we are back again to the same cycle, do you not take it because you fear it will make things worse or do you take it and hope that they might keep you on while at the same time looking for other work?

Ah well, someone out there is looking for what I can offer, and eventully we wil cross paths.

Hope everyone has a good day

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Nothing much happens on tuesdays does it? It's that day that is neither here nor there, Monday is the beginning of the week, wednesday is half way through, thursday is looked on as the day before the last day and friday is the last day before the weekend, but tuesday, well it is a nothing day.

I like tuesdays, when I worked it was the day that I was always raring to go after the rigours of Monday catchup's, it was always more relaxed than Monday and not dreaded as much as wednesday, not as hectic as Thursdays and not looked forward to as much as Friday, so Tueday should be the calm day, the day we all sigh and say 'well it cannot be as bad as yesterday' The day you can breath as all the weekend work was caught up on Monday and the rest of the week has not yet happened.

And next.

Helping my friend in her fancy dress shop has been hilarious this past couple of weeks, she does all kinds of fancy dress and party stuff but the emphasis at the moment is on halloween. You have to use your imagination here but some of our ladies costumes are made to maximise the ladies assets, short to the point of non-existence and basque like tops, with flimsy netting on the arms (if there are any arms) or fish nets on the legs. Now they are very beautiful, we have witches and devils and brides and fallen angels, we have mid length and long as well and Landers would have a field day in there . The other day we got a group of young people in, all in their early twenties, three girls and two boys, they were choosing something for halloween, a couple of the girls were easy to sort out and the boys knew exactly what they wanted, both the boys were tutting and fussing over the girls costumes, one more so than the other, I almost thought Landers had a contender for his queen crown

One girl could not choose, they looked and they discarded and they tried on and discarded, and there was one particular costume that was very flimsy, but pretty which was a ballerina which looked superb on the girl, but she worried about the shortness,in the end Mr Landers wannabe turned round and said "Oh my god girl you are harder to please than me and I am gay!' so immediately I turned round and said 'Well it will look lovely on you too' at which point they all fell about laughing, and it seemed to loosen up the poor girl. We did manage to find her a lovely costume in the end, after an hour and a half, and they all left with the promise of coming back in Decmeber for their party outfits.

We had a guy come in five minutes before we closed as he wanted a costume for his wife, he wanted the one that was in the window, which was the last one of that design, so we asked what size is she, Um! he said, so my friend said 'is she my size?' so he looked and said 'oh,no!' (my friend is a 14-16) then he turns to me and says 'take your scarf and coat off' what! (I wear my coat and scarf cos it is cold) so I did, 'that size' he says and then 'can you try it on for me?' imagine that this is one of the outfits I described above, basque top, flimsy skirt, But, we dont want to lose a sale do we? So I did, but over my jeans and top The guys was well suited and though it was one of our more expensive costumes bought it and went away happy, well he was smiling so I presume he was happy

My friend and I just looked at each other after he had gone and cracked up, 'right' she says 'in future you are modelling them'
'Only if you get fur lined ones' says I

So it has been a lot of fun, and given me something to do and gets me out of the house to boot

And now it is time to go and make myself presentable to the world, so have a great day and see you later

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I had lazy'ish day yesterday, nipped into town more to get out of the house thn anything, nice hour out, but was cold and wet when I got back

I only really went to get a hot water bottle, yes I have succumbed to the cold that much, so what happened to the prices of them? Morrisons are charging £8.00 for a hot water bottle just because it has an animal cover on it, now admittedly it is nice, and yes I would have liked one but I cannot justify spending that amount of money on something to prop my feet on in the cold nights. Down the road I bought one with cover for only £3.00 not as pretty but i am not exactly going to be sat looking at it am I?

Prices seem to go through the roof at this time of year, of course it is hard to even find a hot water bottle in the middle of summer, but dont you think that the upcoming season has a lot to do with the price of goods from October to January? Come January sales that hotty botty in Morrisons will probably be half what it is now, along with many other things that you dont buy every day.

And of course come the end of the week and it is halloween, and while it is good for the place I have been helping out at, it is not good for old folks and pets, no more than bonfire night is, the constant knocking on the door, strangers in costumes, very frightening for some old folks, so if you are going out trick and treating, bear a thought for the poor old dear that just wants to sit and watch her soaps and be left alone, it is a scary enough time of year without adding to it. Though on the other hand there are the ones that treat it with fun, and will be waiting for the unusual visitors with bags full of treats,it is knowing the difference that counts. Just remember trick or treating is an americanism and some old folk dont understand it for the fun it is supposed to be.

What else, hmmmm, dont think there is anything else this morning, brain is kinda blank, time for coffee and get ready to go to town, hope everyone has a good day, catch you all later.

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So we start the merry go round again, somewhere out there is someone that wants to employ me, just widh they would hurry up and find me *sigh*

Thats all for today folks, going to go give my friend a hand in her shop take my mind off things.

Hope you all have a great day )

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Once upon a time I was browsing on the web as you do, looking for a place I had visited but somehow had lost the link to, during the browsing I came across a place called BCUK, hmmmm, thinks I whats this about?

I read a few posts, some fellow called Juzzy and a fellow called paddy and a lady called Jessica and a few others, interesting thinks I and bookmarks it, meaning to just pop back and have a look later. I came back within the half hour tired now of trying to find what I was looking for, and read some more. Then I thought 'wonder if'? And I went through the various things you have to go through and eventually wrote a post, not a very interesting post, but it wasn't meant for others really it was mine, for me, my musings if you like.

I liked the feel of what I had done, and began to do it on a regular basis, and someone commented, and I responded, and someone, a very nice someone called Jessica, asked me to be their friend, and I accepted, and suddenly lots of someones wanted to be friends, I say suddenly but it wasn't really like that, you know how it goes. I became friends of the guys called Paddy and Juzzy, and AJ and CJ and Jessica and moondancer and Nick, and many more that have gone and others that are still here, and many more since.

It is no secret that the Paddy guy is my best friend, my rock, though he is no longer paddy, and of course his lovely partner, it is no secret that Mala is a very close friend either, or Nick or any of the others that I have gotten to know beyond blog itself.

In 2006 a bunch of us make the unprecedented decision to do a blog meet, what! This is unheard of, people that write online journals, diaries whatever dont actually meet! Of course the Blog meet is now a BCUK institution and has its own blogpage and everything, blogmeets go on everywhere and we even have international ones started by Mala, the little jetsetter.

We have our own bloscars every year, which, when we get around the moaners and the party poopers, is a great deal of fun and gives us the opportunity to meet new bloggers that otherwise might stay obscure and never know how wonderful this land of blog can be.

We have writing groups and photography groups and all sorts of groups really, something for everyone.

Of course over the course of the past four years that I have been here we have also had our share of the stalkers, the nasty and the idiots, despite this and their attempts to divide this blogging community, we remain as we were then, a little bit older and wiser but nonetheless still here and still ready to protect what is one of the best blogging sites on the net.

I have never regrestted my decision to put fingers to keyboard that day almost four years ago, despite the things that have happened and the people that have tried to change it, in the end they are not welcome in our community just as they would not be welcome in any 'outside' community that they tried their very best to disrupt, I admit to having almost left once because of one, but the support that I recieved from this community persuaded me to stay and funnily enough the 'person' responsible couldn't fight us all it seemed, for soon after it stopped.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that BCUK hosts many people from many places and there are going to be differences, these are easily solved, you dont like someone stay away from their blog, what could be simpler? Trying to make life hard for someone else displays your own inadequacies not theirs, you have differences sort them out privately, after all are we not supposed to be grown ups here? If you cannot come to a happy or mutual solution keep away from each other. Why spoil your own blogging experience or someone else's because in the end this community will pull together to protect their own, just as they would on any housing estate or community 'out there'

Blogging should be a good experience, somewhere that you can write all those things that you find hard to say, or somewhere to dump the days stresses, somewhere that you feel comfortable and relaxed. Lets keep it that way and Blog on!

Have a good day people.

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I have very little money these days, in fact my pool of finances is so shallow that even the fish have gone So when we get things like Birthdays we have to find ways of inventiveness that we have not done before, for an example, it was the birthday of someone close yesterday, I dont have the resources for fine gifts, so instead I used the resource that was godgiven and invented a present. This person loves Fairies and thanks to a little bit of inventiveness from me and a quick suggestion from a friend she ended up with four beautiful pictures of fairies, framed, and all it cost me was £1.00 and some time

In fact I liked this inventiveness so much that it may just come in useful for the myriad of birthdays coming up and for that Day that happens in December (that I'm not allowed to mention) Use the talents you have and the expensive gifts in the shop can be shunned, after all is not the uniqueness of the gift and the fact that someone spent time and effort on it much more appealing than some fancy gift wrapping? If you know people well enough you know what they like and dislike, so presents should be fairly simple to invent at minimum cost and just a little effort and time on your part, and there is something very satisfying about doing it yourself, looking at the end product and thinking 'my goodness I could sell that in the market' Seriously though, ah never mind who wants to be serious?

Another day nearer the weekend, hopefully that will actually mean something after tomorrow and not just be another two days of doing the same old same old.

My friend has a fancy dress shop, it makes for many hours of laughter, both with customers as well as at some of them, I guess it is the time of year when people just like to do something different, the amount of teeneagers that are having parties where there are 'themes' is amazing, we have one this weekend that is apparently 'heroes and villians' and they have all been to the shop, we have had to come up with some inventiveness there, as it happens my friend is very good at putting things together and making a brilliant costume out of random pieces, and there have been few disappointed customers.

Right it is coffee time, so Good morning Blogland and I hope you all have a good day

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I have to admit to liking this time of year, I love the myriad of colours on the trees and in the fields, golds and browns and yellows and greens all intermingled and on some mornings lightly dusted with a frosty coating. This time of year also serves to remind us that winter is on its way and with it comes the season of good will Christmas.

Not that we need reminding of that as we have all seen the advent calendars that have been in the shops since the children went back to school in September And now the adverts are getting more christmasy and another week and it will be full on jungle bells, I guess though it is not as bad as the advertisng for summer holidays which starts on Christmas day and there is still a whole four months at least of cold and wet and snow to come! Trying to brainwash us into believing that blue skies and golden beaches shown on the TV will somehow wash away the winter blues, when actually all it does is make us hope that summer will be that way and that hopefully we will be able to enjoy some nice days sat in the garden with friends.

Still there is a lot to be said for the Autumn, the weather might be dreary but it makes you appreciate the warmth when you get home, and it is a beautiful time of year, if you take the time to look

Good morning all, have a great day.

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Truthfully I have felt that I have had nothing worth blogging about, after all who wants to hear that I got my paladin from a 45 to an 80 in less than two weeks, who wants to hear that I have read and re-read my favourite authors or that I had major panic stricken moments when it looked as though my end of term assesment would not get to the examining board on time after being let down yet again by those that are supposed to be the ones to support me.

I believed my life to be so boringly monotonous that why should I inflict such on others? Six months out of work doing the same thing day in and day out makes you wonder what or why you are here, whats the purpose if this is all there is.

Of course I dont mean by that I would contemplate anything silly, I have an innate love of life that does not allow me to be down too long, or to see the dark without any light for any length of time.

I am advised that yes you would have liked to hear about the things I mentioned above, even though most of you would not have a clue what I was talking about, because it is not what I write about so much that is the important thing, but that people know I am there, that reinstituting the morning post, even if all it says is good morning, would be for some people a sign that all is well in blogland and that the community as we know it has not died or fallen to pieces but lives on and thrives even.

So for those few of you that liked to read my ramblings with their cornflakes, it will be back as of tomorrow, dont say I didnt warn you

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I told my friend Mala that things were going to get better, she agreed that they would, however I dont think I actually believed it when I first said it. But I started to believe it, the more I said it, the more I convinced me that things would improve, after all they couldn't keep on as they were, could they?

I decided that I was not going to keep applying for these penny ante jobs, where I knew that they really dont want experience they want cheap, apply for something worthy that you know you are capable of, I told my self, well I did that if you remember the other week and despite a great interview didnt get the job, possibly because I knew more than the person that they had given the managers job to. So this time I applied for a managers position, I know that I can do this job, and I guess that my confidence might have shown in my application for just ten minutes ago they phoned me for an interview, so get them fingers crossed again folks!!

Not that I will need it of course because this time I am getting that job! (fingers crossed )

And today I have helped a friend out in a fancy dress shop, and that has been an experience and a laugh, omg the people we get in there

And so a good start to the weekend, how has your week finished

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I will not feed their fire by responding to their comments or posts except in three ways:

1. I will choose to delete their offending comment if I can
2. I will ignore their comments/posts on another blog
3. And then, I will move on.

I will not give them blogging space or another thought for there are many other people here that deserve my energy and attention.

May this blogging community regain its blogging spirit and take back this community from stalkers and claim it as their own.

If you believe this as well, then copy and post this on your blog with your user name.

That is all.

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Thought I'd start a list for a change - a simple one as it's late. I'd like your top ten too please. (Jake said that not me )

In no particular order:

1 - My Friends
2- My Family
3- My Computer
4- My freedom
5 - My independence
6- My studies (Though they can be bad as well)
7- WOW
8- My Dragons
9- My picture of Alan Shearer, drawn not a photograph, it is awesome.
10- My TV and DVD player which help me get through long nights of not sleeping

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Bearing in mind all the time that the other two on the short list are far younger, far prettier, and probably havent got half the experience that you have. not that it mattered in the end because one of them got it and I yet again am still looking for work. I know it was a good interview, I know the DM was more than impressed by my credentials. They said that it went to someone with more 'industry experience' they sell make up and jewellery as a side sale, so what they hired someone that has done a beuticians course or an ex boots employee? I would have thought that knowing how to sell the product to a public that are more than a little discerning where there money goes (in other words they are pretty tight in this town) being able to generate sales and get people to return would have been the best qualifier for this role, but apparently not.

Ah well another one bites the dust, and back to the usual round of searching and applying ad infinitum.

And how has your week been so far?

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To say happy birthday to Decado66 go here http://Decado66.blog.co.uk

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After months of applications and wandering the streets searching I has an interview next week, for the assistant managers position in a new shop that is about to open in our town

The bad news is that I have hurt my back and am in excrutiating pain when I move, I have to make sure that this is sorted for next week, but at the moment a journey round the house is agony let alone to an interview

Thats what you get for trying to help people that dont have a clue *sigh*

Thats all the news I have for now.

What you lot been doing then?

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If you want tosay happy birthday to brokendownangel go here

http://lifeinthecraplane.blog.co.uk

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Copy and paste the following on to your blog.

You are creating a dinner party for eight.

Your party is six guests, yourself and your escort for the night.

Your six guests can be from the past, for instance Robert Burns the poet, or from the present, they can be famous for anything, you are allowed to have non famous people i.e. your best friend, but you have to have at least four people renowned for something even if it is only for playing or writing music.

List your dinner guests 1-6 and the reasons why you would invite them.

Last but by no means least.

Your escort/special guest for the night has to be a blogger from this blog site.

We want the blogname and the reason why they would be your escort for the night.

1) President J.F Kennedy, though he was a ladies man *ahem* he was also one of the best and most forward thinking of the presidents of the USA, a very intelligent man and I think conversation would be funny, yet also interesting.

2)Abraham Lincoln, for much the same reasons as Kennedy, a very forward thinking man for his time, and the conversation between him and JFK would be brilliant.

3)Bette Davies, in my opinion one of the most talented actresses to hit the big screen, also very beautiful, Bette Daves would be a most interesting dinner guest, a lady that said it how it was and didnt mince her words.

4) Sandra Bullock, I dont rate many of the actresses of the present, mainly because quite a lot of them cannot actually act and are buffered by special effects and mega bucks productions, but I like Sandra Bullock, I have seen her in comedies and serious roles, and I think she has that certain something that Bette Davies had but with not quite as much oomph, I think she ould be a witty, intelligent dinner guest that would keep us all entertained.

5) The Queen, as in Paddy, why, well I couldn't have a dinner party without my number one friend there for support and entertainment, I would love to see him converse with the two presidents and compare notes with the two actresses

6) The Queens consort, as in Brad, well someone has to try and keep Paddy inline I think he would be a brilliant dinner guest, I love his debating abilities and would love him at any dinner party where debating would be on the menu.

And my Escort/Special guest, this one was really hard, there are so many special bloggers out there that choosing one from amongst the others proved to be quite a task. In the end I settled for the one that fit all the criteria of the other guests, not that other bloggers didn't and to be honest I would probably do a weekly dinner so I could invite everyone

My Escort/Special guest would be Malakeas, http://rainbowsnbutterflies.blog.co.uk another lovely ldy with a lot to say and says it straight, I think she would find the other guests interesting and entertaining, and I would love the banter between her and paddy and Brad.

Thats it, now go do yours and let me know in comments that you have done it

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Every site I go to on the net all they talk about is facebook. So I decided, right off out into the real world where I can leve the ether behind for a while, hahahaha who am I kidding.

Walking past a young female with a young male leaning towards her, and I thinks aww he gonna ask her out? And he says 'Da ya no, saw a great pic of you on facebook'

OMG! is this the new chat up line?

I can see it now the lines of the future

Chat up lines: 'Da ya no, saw a great pic of you on facebook' and 'great profile you got on facebook'

Party line ice breakers 'anyone see the new designs on facebook?' and 'did you see the new quiz they got on facebook?'

The 'Look at me how great am I' Lines: 'Oh my dear I have hundreds on my list on facebook'and 'Really, I have so many messages it takes me hours to look at them all on facebook'

What lines can you come up with for this the new era?

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Still what could be a better break from study than 'talking' to my blogfriends?

It would appear that the 'Flu' my 'date that never happened' was suffering from has impaired his ability to use the phone, I have given him two weeks to recover from something that should only have taken a week and there has been no call, so it seems another one bites the dust, lol, that makes it sound like there has been/is loads of them. I should be so lucky, it would be nice to be able to say that gone are the days when they queued up to take me out, but that has never happened to my knowledge

The dating game is painful isn't it? It is bad enough when you are young and just setting out, but when you are older and wiser and aware of all the pitfalls that go with it, it is even worse. We older ladies look at things differently and hear things differently, so beware guys, lines you used on that 18 year old all those years ago, they dont work anymore, it is not cool to turn up for our date wearing a football shirt and jeans and brylcreem (can you still get that?) makes you look like a throw back from the sixties

I want cool sophistication, or lacking that at least a reasonable sense of dress, if you are going to wear a football shirt it better be the team I support and the date better be tickets to go watch them play I dont mind Jeans, heck I practically live in them, but the restaurant (yes a restaurant you dont really think I am going to do McDonalds do you or the local chippy?) favours either casual or suit, as for that drink, well your local may be fine on a weeknight when you are slipping out for a quick pint or two, but for the first (and second and maybe third if you get that far) date you need to be taking me out to a nice bar or like I said the restaurant and then a nice bar, I will probably love your local later on in the process, but not at the beginning.

And I want conversation, I already know what the weather is like having been out in it, I already know whats on the tV, though I rarely watch it I have the net, I am not interested in Big brother or the X factor, coronation street and eastenders and all other soaps bore me to tears, ask me questions, allow me to ask you questions, and not stuff like 'so who do ya support!' I will discuss football with you if you wish, but be warned that when I discuss it I will go in to match details. I will discuss anything but the above mentioned, providing it is a discussion and not a 'if you say so' or 'oh do they' to every remark.

I am not an expensive date, I like nice food (preferrably Italian) and I dont drink anything but wine while having a meal, the rest of the time it is soft drinks. I am easily entertained preferring good conversation to expensive tickets for shows (though I could still be persuaded to go )

And if that isn't enough to put off the whole of the male population in England and anywhere else I dont know what is

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'How do you measure your self worth? By what you do or by who you are?'

I read Mala's answer and I read the many comments she received, and it got me to thinking quite a bit about worth, your own, friends, relations, because we are all made up of the people and events that surround us, but is that what makes us, us, or is us being us what makes the people and events what they are?

For many years I believed that my only worth was in doing the bidding of others, me as in 'I' did not exist in any other place than the imagination and the long dark nights while I lay awake fervently praying that I would be taken away if not by death then by some magical and wonderful creature that would award me the same kind of freedom. A child of 8/10/12 should not wish for death or freedom, they should already be free to run and play and enjoy life, something I vowed that mine would do and would be, when my prayers went unanswered in any form.

But lets look at it in greater detail, what is self worth? What does it exactly mean? It is supposedly a value that you place upon yourself, how you view yourself at any given time, it amounts to your self esteem. So it can change given the mood you are in the circumstances and the role that you are considering.

My worth is in being me, not pretending to be someone I am not, in being true to the me that came out from the long dark night to find the sun on her face, despite the many black clouds that have passed over it through the years, despite the kicks and the knocks and the cussedness of life, I am and that is my worth.

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Here is a silly random Friday Five for you all......I would love to see some pretty silly replies too if you can

1. Why is the earth round?

Because it wouldn't fit on that little spindle thing and spin around otherwise

2. Why does toast burn just as you turn round to make a cuppa tea?

Because you were waiting for someone else to make the tea and they were too busy playing on WOW

3. Are you a hoarder and never throw stuff away?

Theres loads of life left in those batteries yet!!

4. Why do dogs always want to kiss you after they have been licking their "bits"??

Because to a Dog your face looks like its bits?

5. Why do petrol stations charge you for air to blow your tyres up?? Isn't air free?

Yes it is, but the maintenance of the tube and the wages of the man that has to collect it and put it in the tube all are very costly!

Yeah, pretty random I know but hey, let's have some fun with the replies!

You know what to do....cut and paste blah de blah!

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To say happy Birthday to Usky please go here http://usksider.blog.co.uk

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Sometimes when I hear it I think how well some of the lyrics seem to fit my life or the way I feel at that moment. The chorous for instance, when it seems that no one listens no matter what I say, and how often I feel lost but dont know why I feel that way. And sometimes you just want to scream, even if it is just to hear your own voice, it isn't the most uplifting of songs but one that I find particurlarly apt on occasions, as I do with most songs.

However, it doesn't put me in a down mood, because this song is always followed by Song sung blue, and this one basically tells you that if you start singing, even with a sad voice, soon you will be singing with a happier voice, because singing gets rid of the blues, it throws them out.

I have to admit that music is my greatest salvation, there is a song that will fit every mood I am in and eventually that leads to songs that are brighter and dancier and th clouds roll away.

Course not all the music that I listen to is downbeat, that is just for when I am already feeling that way, sometimes I like to relax and listen to the soft sax of Kenny G, and other times I want dance or rock. There is always something to fit the mood when you listen to music

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I have spent half of the week umming and ahhing over the impending 'date' I had many reasons for not going, none of them really valid, so after being threatened with sticks and all kinds of other punishments I accepted that I would go and spent the latter half of the week deciding what to wear in quiet anticipation of what at the worst would be a chat between two people that were raised in the same area.

I decided as we were just going to the pub that a simple blue jersey sweater (due to the rain etc here) and black trousers would look good and classy but not over dressed.

I had planned how to have my hair and what shoes I would wear.

Then came the phone call at two yesterday afternoon, he has the flu, and he sounded so ill and fed up that I couldn't be annoyed with him, though I did advise him to check that it wasn't the flu of the pig variety.

He is going to call me as soon as he feels better and we will rearrange our night out.

Of course I have gone through all the is he really ill or did he change his mind scenario's, but he did sound quite ill, so we will see.

And how was your weekend?

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